When I first started really using IMDb I used to think it a bit weird that Dante Tomaselli films got such low ratings. Long before I frequented this site I read praising reviews of each one on one of the other sites I use to feed my interest and always thought he was some kind of indie notable even without seeing his films, only to read the round disdain on here and be rather shaken. Actually watching them though, it all becomes clear. I don't mean this in a derogatory sense, but his films are very much an acquired taste even within the realms of low budget independent horror. Still, I liked his earlier Desecration and I like this one as well. Satan's Playground tells what one might think is among the most standard of stories, a family travelling through the woods suffer a breakdown, only to find in searching for help that bad, bad things await in the woods. At first a crazed matriarch and her retarded spawn seem the main problem, but there's more out there than that. What with a bunch of cultists and an unseen flying menace (clearly Evil Dead inspired) along with a crazy family and the whole lost in the woods paranoia bit, all or at least most of the backwoods terror bases are covered. The interesting thing is that other than a connection between said crazy matriarch and the flying beast (its the Jersey Devil and the classic mythology is referred to) there isn't really anything holding the assorted menaces together, its just a matter of this stretch of wood being infested with bad stuff and our luckless family lumbering into it all. Now one of the biggest criticisms of the film is that the characters act like morons. They do. In a film aiming for some kind of relative realism the character actions would be indefensible from a critical point of view but I don't think that is the intention here. Rather Satan's Playground seems an effort to be backwoods horror at its purest, all logic and realism, all the connective tissue of sanity and relatable decisions boiled away to fetid skeleton. Strange, unpleasant things happen and the cast is mindlessly drawn in because the film isn't about the characters but the horror show. In fact with the number of times people say "I'll be right back" or variants thereof, events seem a smiling embracement of clichéd illogic. Of course any claims about point or purpose will come down to whether you dig the style. For me, though Tomaselli is undoubtedly flawed as a writer he has a real flair as a director. Cool aerial shots, smart compositions, well dispersed jolts and the odd passage of suspense, its a well handled ride with virtual roller-coaster pace. I was reminded a little of House of 1000 Corpses and even The Return of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre in the sense of gleeful insanity, though unfortunately also in the lack of gore. Like both of those films Satan's Playground really needed significant graphic punch, but it only achieves it once with a sweet throat slicing. Outside of that there isn't much bloodshed at all though, practically criminal as there are a few stabbings and lots of hammer blows to heads. Its a real shame as with more on screen nastiness this could have been a gem, but it just feels a bit defanged. At least the cast give their all, on the side of the angels Ellen Sandweiss and particularly Felissa Rose get put through a bit of a wringer and acquit themselves with compelling power. The villains are better though, Edwin Neal a creepy pleasure with his limited screen time as a creepy retard, Christie Sanford unsettling as his sister and veteran Irma St. Paul a blast in one of her last few roles as evil Mrs. Leeds. One of the more memorable crazed old ladies I've seen in a while, her doddery derangement is thoroughly watchable and even chilling. The sound design and scoring is on the money as well, creaks, cracks and cries effective and music of macabre lullabies, carnival mania and mournful drones. Its a classy package, but the aforementioned lack of gore really hurts it, as does absent character development and a somewhat weak close. Still, as a fan of weird low budget horror this one definitely satisfied my cravings, strong 6/10

This movie tries to blend ideas from several cult horror flicks from the 70s and 80s but fails rather miserably at pulling it all off. A grating Italian-American family consisting of husband Frank (Salvatore Paul Piro), wife Donna (Felissa Rose, of SLEEPAWAY CAMP fame), their mentally-retarded son Sean (Danny Lopes), Donna's sister Paula (Ellen Sandweiss) and Paula's infant son Anthony (Marco Rose) are headed somewhere in their station wagon and decide to take a short cut through the New Jersey Pine Barrens. Their car gets stuck in some mud, Frank decides to walk off somewhere to get help and ends up stumbling upon a creepy old house inhabited by an elderly palm reader named Mrs. Leeds (Irma St. Paule). Mrs. Leeds claims to have thirteen children, but only two of them - Boy (Edwin Neal) and Judy (Christie Sanford) - still live with her. All three of them turn out to be psychotic. They kill Frank and then set their sites on the rest of the family; basically killing anyone else who happens to wander into their path. Oh yeah, and there's also some kind of creature ("The Jersey Devil") flying around in the woods killing people that we never actually get to see.The director has no problem citing his two primary sources; the POV floating-through-the-woods camera-work of THE EVIL DEAD (1981) and the warped backwoods family of THE T EXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (1974), here. Sandweiss naturally co-starred in the former; Neal in the latter. The character of Judy - a childish, deranged adult woman in pigtails who seems obsessed with babies - was copied directly from the so-so A MERICAN Gothic (1987). There are references to other horror films here too, if you want to look for them. What I had a major problem with was how moronic the characters were. Not only are they unlikable, they do one stupid thing after another throughout the movie. Some of the things that occur over the course of this film make absolutely no sense. And no, I'm not stupid enough to buy into the supposed "abstract nightmare logic" some people claim this movie has. Stupid is stupid.At one point, a policeman shows up at the sinister home to investigate. Ms. Leeds tells him that muffled screams he's hearing from the basement are a cat, so he just leaves (!), goes back to his car and is killed by the invisible flying monster thingy. The next shot reveals that the police car is parked within just a few feet of the stranded family's car... which two of the characters are still sleeping in! So let me get this straight. The policemen sees a car parked in the middle of the road but doesn't even check on it? And the people inside the car don't hear him driving up the road, see his lights or hear him pulling up. And they don't hear him screaming when he's being killed? "Nightmare logic" or pure idiocy? You be the judge.One of the characters survives the night and ends up in the safety of a hospital to recount the tale to police. So what happens next? Does the policeman do what all other policemen on the planet would do when faced with a potential massacre and organize a heavily-armed posse to raid the home? Nope! He just drags the survivor back to the house of horrors all by himself with no backup whatsoever. And the two examples listed above are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to "Yeah... right" moments.The locations are decent and the director throws in a couple of nicely-composed shots here and there (though the overdone POV shots get old after awhile). There's also a corker of a gore scene where a guy has throat cut and blood gushes out all over the place. Other than that, I didn't really care for this. The acting isn't very good, the characters are dull and moronic and the plot line is a nonsensical mess. I found myself more annoyed than entertained.

This is by no means meant to be taken seriously as a film as it's a film based on a silly tale of the Jersey Devil (like Bigfoot,Yeti,The Mothman) it's a bogeyman made up to keep people out of the desolate Pine Barrens region who from what I understand is miles upon miles of wooded area,that's easy to get really lost in.The old lady was supposed to be the ghost of the woman who bore The Jersey Devil,Mrs Leeds &it seems both she & 2 of her half-wit kids rob & murder anyone who's car breaks down & if they don't get you the Satanists who sacrifice their victims to the Devil & "his son"will.This reminded me of a great 80's B-movie from Troma called Mothers Day.The actresses are 2 of my favorites from previous B horror films.The lead is Felissa Rose from Sleepaway Camp fame & her sister in the film is Ellen Sandweiss from The Evil Dead, who is the chic who gets some horrible tree love & then is the first to go demonic in the film,well in this she is a terrorized Mom w/h a baby. Both actresses are NEVER going to be top Hollywood stars but to their fans after nearly 20 + years of not seeing them in anything it was a pleasant surprise.Also the old woman who plays Mrs Leeds was an extremely creepy old Italian woman who would've made a great witch & the daughter in the pigtails is one of the most nightmarish characters i've seen in a long time.You can obviously tell director Dante Tomaselli grew up on B-horror from his video store from the 80's as this film has that type of feel to it all the way through. Their are some seriously ridiculous moments in this film,like why would the cop HAVE TAKEN the girl back to the house where her whole family was murdered without any back-up?He wouldn't! And towards the end it seemed like they were running out of script ( or money) but this was a unexpected delight as if it sucks really bad i usually turn it off within the first 5 mins. And believe me there is a lot of horror out there you'll turn off cause it's so bad.Loved the scene where the old Mrs Leeds character was doing rails of cocaine but another question?Where did she get the coke from?Stolen from a dead victim? The SAatanists? The jersey Devil? LOL! But this film is good B-movie fun & Liked it immensely.*** OUT OF *****

I am tired of wasting my time with pathetic horror. The worst acting you've ever seen, and you immediately hope all of the main characters die soon.The movie had just started when you get the "Did you hear that?" line. Oh my God...I have finally realized that there is no American horror any more. The production value is castrated by amateurish acting. American horror needs something other than "a band of crazies out in the wilderness terrorizing a family." The emphasis on the Home Depot "scary" door knocker is totally laughable. The only redeeming factor is a trailer for Evil Dead, which is a much better film.I stopped this one fast and sailed it across the room.