Two aliens, a man and a woman, come to Earth wanting to blow it up (you can tell they're aliens because they can turn their eyes green). The man alien befriends a woman and her son and changes his mind, but the evil woman alien stays with the mission, while dabbling in prostitution. Then the man alien has to stop her. The corniest part of the movie is the little hand-held tool the aliens use. It apparently can do ANYTHING. All you have to do is hold it up, and it does what you want: uses tiny lasers to pinpoint a specific location on a paper road map, shoots people, whatever. Exactly what kind of technology is THAT? Why couldn't the aliens just hold it up and command it to blow up the earth? Instead they have to go to a military base and "recharge" an atomic bomb.Definitely not high-quality material, but it's one of those movies to watch late at night when nothing else is on. I watched it just to see what happened, which I guess is good, because it means the movie kept my interest. I'll give it a solid 5/10 stars for giving me something to do.

Let's say, there is a UFO falling from the sky. There's a man laying on the ground miles from civilization, without transportation. This man claims to be a hot-shot scientist, but acts weird, only knows a couple of words in English and doesn't understand a simple joke or remark. What do you do?The answer is: you fall in love with him! This is what the widowed Katie does anyway, although one wonders why, as alien John's only contribution to their conversations is 'yes' or 'no' (although a cynic would say that's the perfect partner). Good thing though that the aliens apparently speak English to each other, it's the best way to learn the language, folks...Oh I forgot what the aliens (there's 2 of them, John and a female) want. Well, what do all aliens want... they want to destroy the planet. To do so they recharge an atomic bomb (?) so that the whole world will explode (erm... I didn't get that either). This bomb is on a military base in Roswell, New Mexico, home of the UFO.Back to the story then. Conflicts start when alien-guy John likes Katie and her son as well and thinks this whole blowing-up-the-planet thing is immoral. His female buddy from outer space Eve thinks otherwise though... Meanwhile the military guys find out he's an imposter (finally checked his records, guys?), while the bomb keeps ticking...Now John and Katie team up to find Eve and stop her from detonating the bomb. Love it when John tells Katie he's an alien: 'I came here to destroy the planet, but I changed my mind (!)'. From that point the movie which is already ludicrous takes some more stupid turns, which includes a silly fight and a countdown-sequence you only see in old Bond movies, but then worse. Notice this: it takes that stupid bomb about 30 seconds to verify (!) a code...The actors try but this pile of dung can't be saved, no matter what actors you'd use. Kate Greenhouse is a Heather Nova look-a-like (anybody else notice), playing the Katie person and Steven Flynn has no problems using a single facial impression on the John guy. But that's not where the movie goes wrong. We're way past that point...A cheap TV movie, this one: 2/10.

Reporting from the Land of Area 51. This movie ticked me off. Despite the Geez-not-another-Roswell-movie, based on the subtitle "The Aliens Attack", I broke out a beer and was all set to watch BEMs (Bug Eyed Monsters) depopulate the earth. Instead there were only two dead "geys", two humanoids, little action and a trite countdown scene.The early dialogue blew it for me when the alien craft was referred to as a "Flying Saucer" instead of "Flying Disk", which was the term in those days. Then the alien hand-held whiz-bang device - it reminded me of a miniature of a light sold in the department stores. The kind that you put in dark closets and press the lens to turn on. Not very high-tech for people who cross space destroying planetary life forms.Buried in the lackluster script are some neat ideas that should have been expanded upon and perhaps might have saved this film. Consider these lost opportunities, which caused my disappointment:The dead "greys" are part human and part machine, designed to run the spaceship while the "human" aliens hibernate over the long trip. The autopsy scene on the base cried out for a takeoff on that bogus "Alien Autopsy" tape but the director gave it just a glancing blow.Eve, the other alien (Heather Hanson): "Some people hired us. They want the planet, but not the people." Interesting concept that is a departure from the "we want to colonize earth" gambit. WHO are the "some people"? A twist would have been to have "Them" send a alien version of Mr. Lefty and Mr. Fingers to track down the two live aliens to ask "What's takin' youse so long?" A chase within a chase to liven things up."You look just like us." Katie says upon learning her beau is an alien. "No, YOU look just like US." he replies. A great place to insert a "we are your ancestors" scene, but that concept is only mentioned as a throwaway at the end.A couple of shots make you notice the hangar where the Bomb is located - number "84". Another blown opportunity. The number should have "18" (where alien bodies were supposed to have been kept) to tie in with current conspiracy theories.Over all, the acting is surprisingly good, with the exception of John Deerman (Steven Flynn, who takes his alias from a farm tractor). His acting was mechanical and wooden and at first I thought that was the alien character he was playing - along the lines of "the emotionless alien discovers earthlike emotions and changes sides". Well, he changes sides al l right (Kate Greenhouse does that to you) but he was wooden to the end. Maybe he just had a bad day - he has a pretty good string of creditable parts. The female alien (Heather Hansen) plays a stereotyped hard-hearted partner. That being said, I would STILL chance a night with her despite what happened to the salesman (David Brown, who plays a nice lecherous part). After his departure his samples provide her with the revealing dress she sports for the rest of the movie. There's a neat scene where she decides which one to wear while he evaporates in the bathroom.The rest of the cast is very good. I don't know if it's the water or the gene pool, but Canada turns out some very fine character actors. The colonel (Sean McCann) plays a surprisinly level-headed officer - usually the military is portrayed as blithering idiots in these movies who are only saved by the clear-headed hero/heroine.Captain Phillips (Brent Stait) is suitably nasty as the security officer. You don't want to cross this guy. Donnelly Rhodes does a first rate job as the father who fears he's going to lose everything because of his daughter's infatuation with Mr. Deerman (Dearman in the credits). I keep thinking I've seen him somewhere else, and I have. Mr. Rhodes has a filmography as long as you arm in film and TV.I saved the best for last, and she is the reason I will watch this film again - Kate Greenhouse as Tyler's daughter, Katie. What a sweetheart! Typical girl-next-door, a part she's plays a lot, but hey, go with your strength. It will be a pleasure to see this actress play other less sugary roles but she is such a natural here. I think I am in love.Once you suspend belief though, it's not too bad - just go with the flow. Ignore the ridiculously easy way the aliens get on base and then wander around without too much of a challenge. The Bomb is a good copy of the "Fat Man" bomb they dropped on WWII Japan, but it is placed in hangar 84 with just one locked door between it and any bad guy. It's also placed in the center of the room and sticks out like a sore thumb. It is held by a puny chain and supported on a flimsy-looking stand, which I expected to collapse and send the Bomb rolling all over the place. It DOES eventually drop and squash the delectable but hard-as-nails Eve. In some ways I hated to see her go - her role was a nice corny counterpoint which she seemed to play with relish.If you're into ca. 1940 cars, the movie is eye candy in that respect. Whoever supplied the props did a good job - there's even an old P-51 Mustang fighter in some scenes. A nice period touch.There are enough saving graces (and shots of Kate Greenhouse) to warrant a first and perhaps a second viewing. IMHO it rates a 2 or 2 1/2 on the scale. Not the best in this overdone genre but surely not the worst.

Roswell:The Aliens attack is one of those films that is so poor is lots of different ways that it has a certain charm and you cant help but like it despite all it's faults. It is the story of aliens that land in Roswell , Where else!,and their mission is to destroy earth by detonating an atom bomb held on the army base big enough to destroy the earth. There are so many holes in the story that it would take ages to go through them but here are a few questions that have to be asked. 1.Why when the aliens had the technology to come to earth did they not have the know how to blow the planet up without using 1940's weaponary? 2.Why was the bomb stored in the middle of what looked like a school gym with the army's youngest member keeping guard? 3.Why did the widow take such a shine to the male alien when he hardly spoke and didnt even smile? Was she that desperate to get laid? 4.Who were the aliens that were found dead? These are just some of the questions that spring to mind and believe me there are many more. The acting is not bad at all ,which is a suprise considering the laughable script. If you can suspend belief in reality and the fact that story is so silly you might actually like this. 6 out of 10.