Perfectly wretched syfy/The Asylum killer shark movie has the kind of Z-grade cast something named "2-Headed Shark Attack" deserves. I mean, Carmen Electra has no other reason to exist except to strike a pose in a bikini on the deck of the ship which is carrying marine students (some of them wouldn't be able to pass Liberal Arts, much less anything to do with Marine tech) out into the ocean, soon encountering the titular shark with heads side by side, a mutated beast in the open water ready to chomp on stupid people. Well, this film has plenty of attractive young adults (most of who act like five year olds) for the two-headed shark to feast on one chomp at a time. Anyway, Brooke Hogan gets to stab away at these sharks and live while practically everyone else is ripe for the pickings. Hogan, I have to admit, although cosmetic from head to toe, looks pretty hot, wearing (of course) a bikini top and short-shorts the whole entire running time (what, you think she was hired for her acting chops?). She is built as the star of this fiasco. Get this: the *other* O'Connell (okay, the guy tries, but he's in a hopeless situation; and his hurt leg scene is a woofer), Charlie, is a professor. Electra is his lady. Hogan is one of the students. David Gallegos is the "brainiac" that befriends Hogan (although she clearly wouldn't give this guy the time of day if they weren't so connected due to the disasters visited upon them) and has ideas on how to keep them alive. Geoff Ward is the douchebag jock with six pack abs. Ward, at one point, steals the ship after Hogan welds cracks in the hull! Ward also left students to die when sharks attack their smaller boat in the ocean while heading back to the ship. Hogan gives him a punch to the face for that piece of anti-heroism. The rest of the cast consists of scantily-clad girls (mostly) and a few guys. At least two of the guys in this do some heroic things while the rest are pathetic wastes of human skin.You do get a lot of babes in bikinis: yep, objectified honeys with nothing else to do but look nice in bikinis. Come on, seriously, would you expect Nicole Kidman or Julianne Moore to show us tortured souls emoting the difficulties of life in something called, "2-Headed Shark Attack"? You get a casting call for 20-something girls choosing between this and porn, so the obvious choice to stay one step away from the latter by screaming as you are being attacked by a CGI two-headed mutant shark in the former seems like the more ideal option. So, how are the shark attacks, you ask? Yikes, are they lousy. The way the shark seems to have humans in their mouths (the rubbery, very close-up shots) only for the CGI water shots afterward showing nothing but blood misting. A lot of that is editing, really. The money involved in making a really thrilling series of shark attacks isn't what The Asylum is about. They are about a few decent shots of a menacing CGI shark, and then absurd effects involving cheesy violence that isn't the least bit convincing as victims are eaten. The island the group finds off the ship is suffering a series of earthquakes that will bring it into the ocean so it isn't a safe haven, either. The way the shark leaps like a salmon out of the ocean has become a standard in this films, and the shock of victims feeling secure only to be devoured by the flying fishy predators is now lost. Hell, one moment where two girls feel like they are now safe after an earthquake momentarily stops, with them catching their breath on a walkway, the camera stays at a certain distance so long that any point of surprise regarding their demise is totally lost. These movies are a dime a dozen, and, for me personally, are so played out. Yet, there's an audience for them. This does have a lot of eye candy…that was my sole interest when all was said and done. The shark attacks become repetitive and unimaginative.

While I consider myself a fan of the recent wave of cheesy, CGI-enhanced monster flicks a la SHARKNADO, even I have standards - and unfortunately, despite the great title, 2-HEADED SHARK ATTACK doesn't meet them. This is an entirely Z-grade film which takes PIRANHA 3D as its inspiration and fails to make a decent movie out of a rip-off.The film is clumsily made and badly written throughout. The cast is almost entirely populated by annoying teen stereotypes and blonde bimbos, chief of whom is Hulk Hogan's daughter Brooke - an actress she isn't! Backing her up is Carmen Electra in a more minor role as a doctor; you may remember her from the likes of SCARY MOVIE back in the day, and she's still trying to play the same role and hiding her age by smothering her face in makeup.Due to budgetary constraints, the whole film is set on a ship where those on board have to contend with one of the worst special effects yet put on film. This shark is a crude bit of CGI animation to say the least, and randomly changes size depending on the scene. There are many gory deaths, but the majority of effects are done on the computer; I felt like I was watching somebody playing THE SIMS at various times.Needless to say, the acting is horrible, the script is dumb, and Christopher Douglas Olen-Ray's direction is vapid (no surprise that this guy is the son of infamous cult director Fred Olen-Ray). The amount of continuity errors and dumb decisions made on the part of the cast is unbelievable; I think the whole 'randomly sinking atoll' part of the story was the most jaw-dropping. In any case, this is a real stinker.

A polar opposite of say, MOBY DICK! This shark flick would have to make one hell of a flying leap to reach B movie status. Professor Babish(Charlie O'Connell)and a ship full of his students on a boat called "Semester At Sea" are attacked by a two-headed shark and get stranded on an atoll. The group featuring "well bodied" females and useful as chum male students fear the atoll is sinking. That's because a tsunami is sweeping them back into neck-deep waters and the fear of being shark bait looms larger. The CGI two-headed killing machine will begin running up a body count. The acting is so bad, it is not even funny. And the dialogue is punctuated with scenes of bouncing boobs. (Not complaining.) The violence lacks in shock value. The best thing about this blood bath is watching Carmen Electra and Hulk Hogan's winsome daughter Brooke. It is hard to believe that O'Connell collected a paycheck for his miserable role. Other players include: Christina Bach, David Gallegos, Geoff Ward, Lauren Vera and Gerald Webb.

So the basic premise of the plot is a group of students on a school-sanctioned educational sea excursion are besieged by a giant two-headed shark. They seek refuge on a small island where they are served up as a buffet to said shark while often providing eye candy shots to viewers who are starving for anything of value in the film.The good -- Brooke Hogan shows several small glimmers of hope as a b movie actor. She's the only one of the cast really adding any merit to this turkey of a movie at all, but in light of the poor writing and sub-basement direction that's not saying much. There are also several eye candy shots of other females, a sex-implied scene with topless nudity, and a modelling shoot style scene custom made for the "star" of the movie Carmen Electra.The Bad -- Pretty much just about everything else. Terrible writing of a plot machine-gun-riddled with holes, atrocious dialogue writing, producers and a director having no sense of continuity whatsoever nor any imaginative acumen at all. Carmen Electra's character really doesn't have to be there at all, having no visible purpose other than eye candy and one more person running around until the inevitable (and predictable) end.O'Connel's acting turn as the teacher who steps up and protects his flock of young charges leaves so much to be desired it is beyond painful to accept much less watch.In short, this movie is a single star film at best, a waste of effort by all involvede containing so many moronic choices by the various characters that viewers who force themselves to watch it to the end might actually suffer the loss of several IQ points for having done so. In lieu of actual content it relies heavily on the gratuitous T&A scenes, topless shots, etc, to raise the worth of the film to one worth watching, but that's simply asking too much in this case. The only way that would have happened is if they'd turned it into a full-fledged porno flick and be done with it. And even then it would only slightly have been "less painful" to watch.However, if you're a fan of b-cheese shark movies with bad acting supported by a production crew lacking any sort of movie-making talent whatsoever, and you love seeing people run around like complete idiots until they become monster chow, AND you can accept the fact that you're taking your chances on getting one of the most implausible endings in movie history, then and only then... this one is for you and is absolutely a must-see.For the rest of the world my advice is avoid at all costs unless you're trapped at a remote location with a TV/movie player and only THIS piece of crap to watch to pass the time. And even then I recommend you find something else to do.1/10