For fans of the semi-infamous cheeseball slasher gem Sleepaway Camp who were perplexed why the creators of its two sequels (I refuse to count the unfinished slop bucket of footage that was later turned into a feature-length to bilk a few more bucks out of devotees) largely ignored their source material and handed over the franchise to Pamela Springsteen, a "proper" follow-up which re-teams the original director with a couple of returning cast members is a truly exciting prospect. Regrettably, though Return boasts a few bits of inspiration, this reunion is more irritating than exhilarating.The trip down memory lane here is by far the most enjoyable aspect of this misguided reprise, and even though the acting chops of the cast members who were present at Camp Arawak actually seem to have gotten worse in the last two decades, it's still fun to see Johnathan Tiersten (Ricky) and Paul DeAngelo (Ronnie) ham it up again. But that where-are-they-now? update isn't enough to build an entire movie around, and sadly little else about the film offers fans much to get excited about here.The biggest problem with Return is that it blatantly attempts to match the accidentally humorous approach of the previous Sleepaway Camp outings, which isn't something that can be willfully duplicated. The earlier SC's were enjoyable precisely because they were so endearingly dumb, but setting out to make a deliberately stupid movie, which we can only assume was the game-plan here based on the results, doesn't produce that same spark of quirky ineptness. The film tries way too hard to mimic the joyously cheap thrills of a mid-'80s slasher flick, but it is a pale imitation at best, and the evident self-awareness here simply doesn't gel with the spirit the film is desperately trying to conjure.While the references to the first Sleepaway Camp should be the main focus here, we're instead forced to endure the unbearable saga of a ridiculously unlikeable camper named Alan, who is teased and tormented mercilessly throughout the film and has a "secret place" in the woods where he cuddles with frogs and tells them all about his troubles. Alan's plight is probably supposed to generate our sympathy, but since he's constantly either whining or shrieking and is actually far more unpleasant, hostile, and aggressive than any of the one-dimensional teens who target him, we're sort of left to deduce that he pretty much deserves everything that happens to him. This blubbering sap is relentlessly exasperating, and his virtual omnipresence renders most of the movie nearly unwatchable. The impetus for his placement as the focal point of the plot is allegedly to lure us into believing that he is committing the murders to punish his transgressors for their sins, but even though the killer is concealed by a hooded sweatshirt, the first time we see the perpetrator it's completely obvious that the only way Alan could be under that cowl is if he had the supernatural ability to instantly lose about 150 pounds on command.A few decent gore spurts liven things up a bit, but there aren't nearly enough of them, and while there are dozens of potential victims on hand, the body count here is woefully paltry. The death scenes themselves strive to be grandiose and original, but most of them are so utterly impractical that they end up being silly. One kid meets his demise after a sharpened pole is thrust up through the floorboards of his cabin; the makeshift weapon misses him the first time, which prompts this obtuse lad to conjure the brilliant hypothesis: "Hey, that deadly spear almost impaled me! If I press my face up against that hole in the ground it came from, maybe I can see what's going on down there..." A few of the methods of dispatch require such intricate machinations and deft execution that they rival some of the torture devices in the Saw series. The boldest of them would take a least a couple of hours to orchestrate, but our killer is somehow able to rig these sophisticated death traps in a matter of seconds without anyone being the wiser.Granted, I know something like Return To Sleepaway Camp isn't supposed to inspire deep thinking. However, while I respect the ingenuity that went into, say, the bed of spikes murder, all I could think about when it happened was how long it would take for the killer to hammer what looks to be at least 100 nails through a bed frame to even set the contraption up. I was also fascinated that they had the foresight to predict that the intended victim would come back into the cabin alone despite leaving with a group of girls, and that not only would she immediately lay down on the bottom bunk in a perfect position for the killer to leap onto the overhead mattress and drive the spiked platform down upon her, she would also somehow fail to notice the black-clad lunatic perched up in the rafters about ten feet above her head.The telegraphed twist ending is so patently obvious that you'll have it figured out the first time the involved character is introduced, which unfortunately happens a few minutes into the movie. Still, if your driving force for seeing this is a fondness for the first film, the finale is a mirthful wink to the original that's worth sticking around for. You should also linger through the credits, since there's a fairly nifty final coda afterwards.Though I haven't praised too many aspects of Return To Sleepaway Camp, I don't want to leave the impression that it's entirely without its charms. I'm certainly not sorry I watched it, and while it's definitely the weakest of the quartet, the novelty value of the reprised characters is high enough to warrant a look for ardent fans of the series. Just try not to punch your television every time Alan comes on screen.

This one is NOT a comedy! It's also very graphic. The real Angela is back, same actress as the original! By the way, this Angela is even more evil than ANY villain of any horror movie! A few of his victims LIVE through what he does to them! You know the classic hunter's motto, "To be humane, kill! Don't maim!" Maiming the characters to the degree she does is extremely evil, but for that alone, I gave it ten stars! Alan is a mean fat kid who's picked on relentlessly at camp. He's hostile towards just about everyone in return. For me, he's a very believable character. I've seen a few Alan's at my high school. Actually, a lot of the characters very well done. This movie also has a lot of shout-outs to the original, you'll see quite a few familiar faces, including that councellor who still looks like he belongs in a Richard Simmons work-out video.

This is, without a doubt, up there with the worst horror sequels I've seen, below the likes of Howling 7, The Omen 4, and even Lake Placid 2.First off, the characters, save for four (two of which barely have any roles) are borderline sociopathic. Now, there are horror films out there with a cast mainly full of unlikable, horrible people. Rob Zombie's Halloween remakes and Sorority Row are examples of this where it's bothered a lot of people. This film makes the characters in those look like Mr. Rogers. Even the adults act like a mix between crazed criminals and violent five year olds that can't get fired for assaulting kids, giving them wedgies, and basically having them go through the kind of hazing that most colleges even frown upon. Even the main character is a screwed up, annoying, whiny, overly-aggressive, crazy, creepy, disgusting bully that would normally be the opening kill in a by-the-books 80s slasher flick.Next off we've got some of the dumbest writing I've seen in awhile, and this is coming from someone that watches crap like Birdemic, Jack Frost 2, etc. Lemme give you two examples, both of them spoilers. Skip this chunk of text if you don't want to be spoiled. First we've got a scene in which a man has the following done to him: He's tied to a tree, his pants are undone and dropped to the ground along with his boxers, another rope is brought around his neck, and another smaller plastic thing is tied around his dick. He's not blind, he can see, and he thinks the person doing it is a woman who walked off away from him, within his vision. He watches her walk off, and seconds. SECONDS. later this happens, as he's still watching in that direction. He somehow. Somehow. Can't see who is doing this, and the way this is handled, the only way it could even be plausible is if the killer was revealed to be telekinetic. Alex Mack, they ain't. Secondly we've got the big twist ending, which... actually might be the single dumbest twist I've seen in a horror movie. I've seen so many, and this... just... I need to explain, and I know many of you won't believe me and will end up, sadly, watching this just to verify because it just sounds too stupid. One of the few likable characters is this like, 60 year old cop...guy that dresses more like a mix between a 1950 southern sheriff and a WW1 soldier, and he has to talk with one of those electronic devices you attach to your throat, only the people behind this film have never heard what those sound like and instead just altered the actor's voice in post with a cheap robot effect that makes him sound less like a throat cancer survivor and more like a fracking cylon. This guy? Is the killer. We barely see him at all... and also it's Angela. Angela apparently is the next Tom Savini and was able to make super convincing makeup so she could... pretend to be... a 60 year old man? ...Beyond how ludicrous that sounds, I just... ...why? Why do that? How did she do that? What about her gender identity issues? Why does the film keep trying to retcon 2 and 3 (far better sequels, despite not being hilariously bad but still enjoyable in the same way one can enjoy the later Nightmare on Elm Street movies) by implying she never got a sex change, and then we see her and she's obviously a woman in makeup to pretend to be a 60 year old man and... my brain hurts just writing this.In short... pass on this. It's like trying to watch the first film, only you have a hangover and there's a screaming child in the room with you. The writing is moronic, the effects are awful (though the fake blood looks delicious. It's... it's this pink kool aid stuff. Pink. PINK), the acting is terrible, the script is flimsy, the plot twist is absolutely ridiculous. Just pretend Sleepaway Camp is just a trilogy, or if you want to count the unfinished fourth film, a "quadrilogy"(sic, because damn it Fox that isn't a word, no matter how much I love Alien.)

This movie is brilliant, when I first watched it I thought it actually was an 80s movie because it looks and is exactly like that. I had to double and triple check that this was the 2008 movie as I couldn't believe it at first. This is how they should always make horror movies!!! I was really surprised when I came here and saw a relatively low rating and bad reviews. Okay, I don't mind if a person give it a 5, I can see why some people mightn't like it that much, but who on earth is giving lower than 5s? It's hard to believe that, they don't seem like fans of the original if that's their attitude as this is very close to the original in a lot of ways and better than it in some. I have to admit, I hated the "fart" scene at the beginning of the movie as well as many others. I also thought there were too many shots of boys in states of undress... and the whole thing is quite campy. I totally get that the fat kid with the frogs is very weird and makes things a bit uncomfortable and outrageous at times.... it's called ORIGINALITY. It's called being different. It's viewing something new that you didn't see tons of times before. The fat kid is like a monstrosity, like some weird ****.... which is what horror movies are all about. I think that as the movie wore on the fat kid scenes got better, less stupid. Again if this is all not your cup of tea, fine, but it's certainly not a "bad" movie whatever way you look at it!!! The death scenes were amazing, I don't think anyone will have qualms about these. One of them dragged a little, that's it. The characters weren't overly "mean" to each other, sure things got very heated at times... this is how the world works sometimes. And children can be very cruel to each other. Even if it's pushing credibility a bit at times, I was able to believe in all of the characters' actions in the movie. This is how horror movies work best, the music and atmosphere created are top notch. Maybe the plot could have been done a bit better, with more comprehensive explanations for things, and better mystery surrounding who was doing things. I can certainly see how the movie might have had more potential. But for some reason, the movie really just lured me into it in a way that's hard to explain. Maybe it's just the mood I was in, but it really got my imagination flying and had me in a lot of suspense about what was going to happen next.