Python (2000) BOMB (out of 4) Robert England plays a mad scientist who created a huge python that spits acid. I'm terrified of snakes, which means I usually have a good time being scared with snake movies but this one here was downright awful and ranks as one of the worst films I've seen the past twenty years. The acting is atrocious, the screenplay laughable and the special effects are terrible looking.Python 2 (2002) BOMB (out of 4) The American government brings home an eight-five foot snake, which eventually escapes and starts eating people. This is another horrid, direct to video horror movie but it's slightly better than the first film since this one here runs ten minutes shorter. Is that any kind of recommendation?

What could be the greatest feature of this movie? Could it be the creepy performance of Robert Englund (soon to be seen in Zombie Strippers)? He is always enjoyable.Could be be the wacky performance of Jenny McCarthy (soon to be seen in Wieners)? She just can't seem to keep her head on straight.Could it be the interruption of a lesbian camping trip by something long and mysterious? No, the best feature of this movie was the towel that Theresa (Sara Mornell) somehow got and wrapped around her after the Python did a Psycho and interrupted her shower. When baby shampoo and a rubber ducky didn't stop the snake, which no one else seemed to be able to escape. She manges to grab a towel and get it wrapped around her while the monster was attacking, get by the snake, run through the basement and the house, get in a car, drive speeding down the road with the snake on her tail, crash the car and run into the rocks - and she never lost that towel! Other than that, it was pretty lame and predictable.

The town of Ruby and it's surrounding country-side are terrorized by a giant python created by the typical secret government organization called Biogene which was released after a plane carrying it crash-lands. Dr. Anton Rudolph(Robert Englund, who gets all the theatrical dialogue), who had a part in creating this massive reptile through variations of serpents, informs Agent-in-charge Bart Parker(Casper Van Dien, far removed from "Starship Troopers" or "Sleepy Hollow")that it's practically unkillable and very fast with a nasty venomous acid-spit you wouldn't believe. Pro-biker John(Frayne Rosanoff)and deputy Greg(William Zabka, known for playing blonde haired bullying punks in the 80's such as in "Karate Kid" & "Back to School")who have angst over a chick named Kristin(Dana Barron, one of many variations of Griswald daughter Audrey in "National Lampoon's Vacation")must join forces to stop the python.Could easily play on Sci-fi channel with it's low quality computer effects of the monstrous python. The python really is never convincing which makes the film play rather cheesy instead at all scary. The flick benefits from a cast of recognizable faces. Star Trek The Next Generation's Wil Wheaton plays a real-estate agent wannabe sporting a pink hair-do, Jenny McCarthy stops by to play a wealthy widow sexpot, Sean Whalen is a Barney Fife deputy, and Gary Grubbs(my favorite of the cast who I enjoyed every moment he was on-screen)as Sheriff Griffin Wade.

Python certainly isn't art, and it's not gonna win any awards. However, it IS a fun little movie for a night with some soda (or, if you're old enough, beer) and popcorn. The snake changes size many times, (at one point it hides in a garage behind some boxes, but he is then suddenly 15X the length of a car.)and even the marketing is messed up-the cover says it's "sixty feet of pure terror", but the scientist in the movie says it's 128 feet long. The acting isn't the greatest and the CGI is terrible (the snake's "acid" looks like expired Jell-O), but the movie is a good one to watch and let your brain go on autopilot. For B-Movie fans, or people who thought Anaconda didn't have enough stupid jokes, this one is an absolute must-see.