Primates of the Caribbean
Primates of the Caribbean
| 11 October 2012 (USA)
Primates of the Caribbean Trailers

Marco the Monkey works as a beach officer. But he spends most of his time trying to win the heart of the beautiful Lulu. He is just about to succeed, when Marco's rival, Carlo, builds a gigantic monkey-shaped casino right on Marco's beach. Lulu is fascinated by the charming Carlo. Jealously Marco starts an undercover investigation of Carlo's strange casino. Soon he discovers the truth. Carlo will take over the island and force Lulu to marry him! When Marco tries to arrest Carlo a problem rises. Literally from the ground. Because Carlo's Casino is a giant robot.

Reviews
Mark Sayle

This 'film' starts off with a badly animated cartoon style section which is entirely without artistic quality. It then moves swiftly on to a CGI animated film proper that looks like dreamworks had a bad idea and then couldn't be bothered to show up for most of the framing or any of the backgrounds. The 'camera' viewpoint is very static and rarely moves. When it does it conveys no depth of field. The characters may be rendered as more than 2D but the characterizations are certainly only 2 Dimesional. Any lack of quality in the script (hint - there is NO quality in the script) is steamrollered with shouting nonsense and meaningless gibbering. The voice actors may be doing their best but frankly they should probably still be arrested for crimes against cinema (you can only blame the screenwriters and director for so much. The producers also really need to answer for letting this horror show actually get to market. This film was so bad it sucked the fun out of the room. It's not so much straight-to-DVD as straight in the bin. Even my 4 year old kid thought it was rubbish. That's how bad it is! Even a 4 year old knows it does the impossible (in the words of a certain B. Simpson) and both sucks AND blows!! Please please please, AVOID THIS TRAVESTY OF CELLULOID AT ALL AND ANY COSTS.

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