Not a bad little movie, especially considering the budget, have seen far worse, that have spent far more. I actually enjoyed the music in this one and found myself humming along a couple of times. Yes it's a silly plot with dodgy special effects, but that's part of the fun. I didn't expect much from this movie and was pleasantly surprised that I liked it.
... View MorePorkchop is an uninspired, flaccid mess and i want my money back!. I love monster movies but there is nothing positive to say about this awful thing. Horrendous acting and poor cinematography are only the tip of the iceberg. If the dialogue wasn't totally improvised on the spot then the writing may be the worst I have ever experienced. If you like parody, comedy or horror, AVOID the hell out of this embarrassing pile of pig poo. I would give it NO stars if IMDb would let me. Stick with Motel Hell or Slaughterhouse if you want a killer in a pig mask. Or try Madison County, a movie that is pretty awful but is still miles ahead of Porkchop. Much of the plot and style are ripped off from other, more talented movie makers, only filtered through the minds of those with no talent, originality or creativity. Reading the few positive reviews above, I must assume they were written by cast and crew members. This is the only explanation I can imagine that would result in any one NOT trashing this putrid excuse for entertainment. I would normally say nice try to the film makers, but having viewed their " work " I'm guessing they either didn't try or they are untalented to the extreme. Just because you CAN make a movie doesn't mean you SHOULD. Stick with your day jobs, folks and leave the art to the artists!!
... View More"Partying, mayhem and gore...80's style." So says the tag-line for "Porkchop", a micro-budget throwback to "kids are killed in the woods" slasher movies from the 80's. Maybe it's because I recently watched "Rabies", which managed to do something new with the backwoods slasher movie, but I found this to be a pretty bad movie all around.The plot goes like this: Deborah (Ruby Larocca), Mike (Charles Sullivan), Chris (Chris Woodall), Ian (Brandon Raker), Courtney (Sierra Ferrell) and Rachael (Erin Russ) go to the woods for sex, drugs and good times. Also, they bring around a goofy talking robot named Elron (voiced by Danny Hicks of "Evil Dead II", "Darkman" and "The Intruder" fame.) Long story short, there's a hulking man wearing a pig-head mask known as Porkchop (Robert Cobb) that has murder on his mind, and you know what goes on from there.While the killer is pretty bad-ass and the kills are gory as hell and usually inventive (with the gore and make-up effects actually looking pretty great), "Porkchop" is pretty bad. In some ways, it kind of reminded me of Drew Rosas' "Blood Junkie" in the fact that it wants so much to be like the slasher movies from the 80's, what with it's 80's fashions, bad hair, bad pop music, etc. However, "Blood Junkie" at least made me laugh. This movie was just annoying, with all of the jokes being deliberately bad. My problem with this is the fact that I hate it when a movie acknowledges that it isn't exactly a good movie, and just goes "f#@k it." Deliberately making bad jokes doesn't excuse anything. In fact, that just makes it worse.In the process, everything else about the movie is just poorly done. Eamon Hardiman directs the whole thing as if it were his first motion picture, and that would be forgiving if it was (it's not.) The entire stretch before the kills start to occur is just a pain to sit through, with actors mugging for the camera and doing next to nothing interesting. Speaking of which, it takes way too long for the kills to start to happen, and by the time they do, you'll hardly be awake. This is a movie that, as I said, wants so much to capture the vibe of 80's slasher movies, but it lacks the most important element: fun. There's hardly anything in this movie that's remotely enjoyable. It just feels like a group of people goofing off with their home video equipment in the woods, and not like the tongue-in-cheek slasher fun-fest it wants to be.If you want to see a fun, 80's style slasher movie-then go watch an actual 80's slasher movie like "The Prowler." It'd be a much better choice than watching a bunch of people play pretend for 92 minutes.
... View MoreThis film truly sucks, don't listen to the long review. he must work for them or something. I was bored enough to sit through the entire monstrous mess and if there was any way of me getting this time back I would take it. I can't begin to explain how many levels this film fails on. To list them all would take someone even more bored than I am now - and believe me - for me to be bothered to write this - if you knew me - you would know that this is really really bad.All I can do is write this review in the hope it may save some of you people making the same mistake as I did. If this is meant to be some sort of 'parody' it fails because at the end of the day its not entertaining and the actors 'pretend' wooden-ness just comes across as plain old wooden-ness.You have been warned. Watch at your peril!!
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