This farted out at every angle and really didn't need to. Probably due to the inept direction of a TV producer with a string a failures. I should have known when the opening credits were the graphics from "Fresh Prince of Bel Air".A few good ariel shots that went on---and on---and on---Willis? Goodman? For starters, why? Not like you're going to get an Oscar-worthy performance from Willis, but this guy still commands as much as a million per day. Why---this? The entire thing probably only cost a couple million. He walked through it and sounded and looked very tired. Very old. Didn't make him look good.How do you then get a weary performance from Goodman? Slightly amusing in the 2nd half but too little, too late. Essentally a plot you've seen a 1000 times before that could have been colorful and funny, given the setting. It even had a f'ing dog for poops sake. But nope! Wandered for quite a bit on jokes I'm sure everybody throught were just hilarious before any sort of story began. Grafitti on the side of an apartment building and this can't get solved the next day?Willis watches the girl he's after step out of a car and enter a motel. THEN he asks a male prostitute if he's seen the girl? (Willis even drove a slow car.) The lazy logistics of Willis and Goodman just walking into the black bar with a shotgun and hand grenade. And why didn't the black gangster run when the grenade was dropped? The bad guy real estate investor signed and notarized a contract for grafitti? And just as lazy cursory character archs, tacked on. A decent cast, though, of B and C listers who actually tried, especially Thomas Middleditch. Do they all hang out at the same bar in Malibu? This is what they do on a lark? I'm actually thinking some sort of modern day "The Producers" accounting scam to make money on a losing movie.It's cause they know I'm a sucker for a decent trailer, isn't it? I KNEW IT!

I started watching this one with my wife and could honestly only get through about 30 minutes before telling her it was unwatchable. Spoiler- I turned to my wife and said "Someone actually came to Bruce Willis with a script that said you've got a scene where you ride a skateboard naked down a busy road in a chase scene then end up being pulled over by a cop. Next in an effort to hide your gun you have to shove it in your butt crack." Of course, Mr. Willis being the accomplished actor he is replied "THAT ROLE IS FOR ME." I thought I took out an action flick from the library, which I'm sure at some point it becomes. I just didn't have the patience to wait for this thing to become what I was looking for. As they say, it just wasn't my cup of tea, therefore the one star review.

Once Upon A Time In Venice is one of the worst, most annoying films of the year and in recent memory. With the exception of a quite funny Jason Momoa, no one involved in this debacle walks away with their dignity intact. So many bad lines, so many missed opportunities, so many embarrassing acting moments, and so few reasons to sit through 90 minutes of a lackluster Bruce Willis wondering around Venice Beach aimlessly for his dog. Sadly Willis and especially John Goodman seem more lost than the pet they are trying to find. As I mentioned before, the only actor who brings anything to the table is Momoa, which is surprising, especially given what little he had to work with. He scores all the laughs in the film, that's right, both of them, mainly because of his deadpan execution of an otherwise run of the mill antagonist. This movie has no reason to exist and no story to tell and speaking of stories, once upon a time there was an actor who tried, then the 90s ended, he went bald, and just stopped caring. That's the end of the story and Bruce Willis's career.

I stopped watching the minute I spotted grandpa Willis (butt naked) being beaten up and eventually chased through the streets by the brothers of the twenty-something year old woman he had just slept with. I like grandpa Willis but I really think it's time for him to retire if these are the kind of scripts that are landing in his agent's inbox.