When you think of Japanese cinema, there are three things that immediately spring to mind. The first is the big, green rubber suited Godzilla. The second is Akira Kurosawa. And the third? Why, the ninja film of course! However, despite its misleading title, NINJA WARS has very little to do with actual ninjas. One gets killed in a tree at the beginning, but that's about it. Instead what we have is a very weird little movie, full of cheesy special effects, bad taste, and a kind of see-saw effect where numerous uninteresting scenes of exposition are counterbalanced by some of the wildest moments of cinema you'll see in a while. Wanna see the inspiration for that death scene in KILL BILL where the guy's neck sprays blood for five minutes? Check out NINJA WARS, where the exact same thing happens to a female servant. Except in THIS film, somebody else's head is magically re-attached to her body without her undergoing any particular ill effect! The story is light and unrealistic as they come. Hiroyuki Sanada is the clean-cut dashing hero, whose lover dies as a result of black magic. He then swears revenge on a bunch of demon monks, weird guys with big hats who can fly, spray acid vomit from their mouths, and shoot needles from their hands in many wild and wacky moments. Truly, the sight of one of them spraying orange vomit at our hero and knocking him out of a tree is tremendous, as is the vengeance when Sanada bumps them off one by one in various gory ways – I love the blind monk who returns as a zombie, and the huge guy he fights in the canyon! I'd also swear that one of them is played by the silent bodyguard guy from THE LAST SAMURAI! The film has plenty of action and also tons of nudity, making it a real exploitation classic. The only let down is the ending, which is exceptionally weird and unsatisfying.Sonny Chiba's name appears prominently on the box, but alas, he is rarely to be seen in this movie, except at beginning and end. Instead Sanada is the handsome, young and heroic lead (at 21 years) adding yet another string to his bow of classic if cheesy Japanese action films. Noriko Watanabe manages to be very fragile as the ill-fated princess and, although Jackie Chan is rumoured to appear in a cameo appearance, he's nowhere here (why would he go to Japan to make a cameo appearance with his schedule at that time anyway??). To sum it up, this is typically intense Japanese cinema with some very powerful moments, and some very cheesy ones.

There are some movies that try so hard to hit a certain target that they miss by a mile. This movie is one of them. It tries so hard to be a martial arts epic that it kills itself in the praxes.The basic plot of the film is that anyone who would marry Princess Ukyo would rule the world. She is already married to Lord Hanzo (ok, so why isn't he ruling the world?) A rival, Lord Danjo, enlists the help of an evil wizard named Kashin to help him win the hand of Ukyo. So Kashin sends his aides to kidnap the Princess' twin sister Kagaribi, whose tears are required to make a "love potion." That really pisses off the fiancée of Kagaribi, Jotaro, who vows bloody revenge. The rest of the story is too hard to explain.A movie needs more than a intricate plot to be an epic. Ninja Wars accomplishes nothing. It is too confusing to entertain, and too schizophrenic to have any meaning to it at all.

This is the funniest ninja movie I've seen...and probably the worse I've seen since American Ninja 4. In some scenes lots of women are decapitated, and they stand there for about 30 seconds...blood spurting out of their heads like a fire hydrant! There's a really stupid old man with a staff who laughs really weird, and the evil warlord sounds like Grover from Sesame Street. My favorite part is the "ninja-like" attack methods the lampshade-headed warriors in this film use. As they fight, they spew egg yolk out of their mouths at people. And were supposed to believe thats what real ninjas do??? Overall this is the strangest ninja movie possibly ever made.

Okay, it's not really a classic. In fact, few people have probably even heard of this movie. And that's probably a good thing. This movie is odd. Really odd and bad. It has so many weird plot twists (two girls, one a virgin ninja, the other a concubine, are beheaded, and their heads are reattached but switched to different bodies) and visual effects (ninjas that vomit great streams of acid, the big fat naked concubine getting it on with the blind, scarred devil monk) that a mere plot summary cannot do the movie justice. That and I'm lazy. So, go rooting around in your local mom'n pop video store's bargain bin (I got my copy from a friend who bought it at Phar-Mor when they were having a big everything must go sale), look for Ninja Wars, watch it, and be amazed.