Night Train to Terror (1985) * 1/2 (out of 4)God and Satan are on board a train where a rock band is playing. The two talk about who is respected more and then we see three separate stories. The first story deals with a man who feels guilty over a drunk driving death that he caused. He finds himself involved in a strange experiment. The second story deals with a medical student who falls in love with a beautiful woman and gets drawn into a strange world of monsters. The final story has a detective (Cameron Mitchell) investigating a murder that leads to a Satanic playboy with special powers.NIGHT TRAIN TO TERROR is a really, really bizarre little movie with an even more bizarre behind-the-scenes story. The only new footage here are the scenes dealing with the rock band and God and Satan. Everything else is footage taken from three completely different movies. What's so strange is that all three of those movies are available to view in their complete form so it's kind of pointless watching them chopped up to fit 20-30 minute segments.The biggest problem with this movie is that all three stories are completely confusing and they never make too much sense. THere are so many logical issues with each of the three stories and it's easy to see why because all of them are missing over a hours worth of footage. To say that this film was a complete hack job would be fair and it's also fair to say that the studio was just trying to make some cash out of the previous films that I'm guessing they already owed. Why not cut them down, add a wrap-around story and try to pass it off as something new?Whatever their reasons were, it's funny to think that NIGHT TRAIN TO TERROR has remained easy to find over the years while the three other complete films (MARILYN ALIVE AND BEHIND BARS, THE DARK SIDE TO LOVE and CATACLYSM) aren't as easy to track down, although THE DARK SIDE OF LOVE was released as a bonus feature for the Blu-ray release of NIGHT TRAIN TO TERROR.As it stands, this is a pretty hard film to judge simply because of the editing process. The end result is quite poor and it's hard to be entertained by NIGHT TRAIN TO TERROR simply because the stories are so bad as they are presented here. To really judge them you'd need to see the complete films. As it stands, NIGHT TRAIN TO TERROR is pretty bad but the backstory is much more interesting.

One of the posters says this film was cobbed together from other incomplete projects, though says two were actually finished. I wonder if they were released in some other form. At any rate, this movie is garbage. It has a car accident quality for awhile, you can't look away, but it's overcharged tempo even wears thin, and it becomes very tiresome. It is amazing that somebody gave somebody money to make this, but it might have been tainted South African money. Just totally bad. No attempt to credit names John Phillip Law or Cameron Mitchell, which is probably just as well for them, poor guys. The rest has all been said. We always seem to blame the decade for this sort of bad film, "it's so seventies" "it's so eighties" but really it just is bad and would be in any ten year span.

This was the worst movie ever! I cant believe they called this piece of crap a movie! It barely had anything to do with a train. Every time i hear that song that the piece of crap rock band sings i die a little. The stories were ridiculous. I almost fell asleep from this junk! These were the worst special effects i have seen (including anything from the 1930's.) I cried ,i was laughing so hard! There was more cheese in this movie than 30 cheese sandwiches. Do not watch this. I feel bad for the directors. Heres how this "movie" was made: 1- The director called a meeting. At the meeting he said,"Hey guys Im making a movie called night train to terror.You guys get to do whatever you feel like except change the title. Heres 5 bucks. Get me a movie and meet me back here on Tuesday. 2- On tuesday, they began editing it. All the editors fell asleep while watching this disgrace.3- Some more directors came to help get it approved.4- They killed the editor and forged his signature. Now they had their disaster of a movie.That was how we got cursed.This is the reason of many deaths. This thing they call a movie made me feel like i was dying. Whatever this sucky thing is, its not a movie.

OK, Before I go any further I just want to state that I am of sound mind & I don't drink(much) or do drugs. Why am I stating this to you?? Because I LOVE THIS MOVIE!!! I'm not even going to summarize what it's about, That's been done by quite a few people on this page. Just let me say that this flick(It's not a film people...it's a flick. Trust me on this one)is the most hilariously bad compendium of what you would need in a bad mov....oops, I mean flickBad story(ies)? Check. Bad acting? Check. Bad cinematography? Check. Bad special effects? Check. But lots of movies have all 3 of these checks. So what makes this one so special?? You have GOT to see it to believe it. It is so incredibly, Astoundingly bad that your jaw will drop as you try to comprehend what's going on. But afterwards you too will just nod in agreement with me that you were entertained far more than you realized.Did I mention the theme song? I mean I guess it's the theme song since it's played pretty much throughout the flick. Once you hear it you will dig at your eyeballs with a icepick to try & make you forget it. It's that catchy people. I wish I could find it on an MP3.I actually saw this on 42nd street back in the late 80's on a triple bill with a couple of chop socky flicks & it has never really left my mind since. I purchased the DVD 6-7 years ago from a discount outlet for $5.00. I don't know if it's still available but if you see it anywhere BUY IT! You will be entertained beyond all belief. But you ask...If this flick is so great why a 9 & not a 10?? What movie is really a 10 anyways?? No film is perfect people, You know that. But I love this flick guys. I really love it. I have made it my mission to force everyone I know to watch it & marvel at the goodness that is "NIGHT TRAIN TO TERROR".You Have Been Warned........