Ya know. A lot of people have their own ideas of what a bad movie really is. Most go through life, care free, assuming the worst of the worst would be box-office disappointments like Gigli or Glitter. Stuff that they've actually heard about. Or some just consider what they don't enjoy to be bad. But my fellow veteran bad movie lovers know better. Then again, maybe they don't. Maybe just a select few. The few that dig the B-movie badness enough to search high and low for the stuff that is just too overwhelmingly bad for your normal bad movie lover. Well, I think I've recently found the ultimate in bad cinema. This is what true, untampered with bad looks like. This is beyond anything most bad movie lovers/haters have ever seen. This is Night Of Horror.There's another film out there which is far superior (yet, still pretty terrible), yet strangely similar called Curse Of The Screaming Dead aka Curse Of The Cannibal Confederates, which was made by the same people just a year or so after this one. From what I've heard, Night Of Horror is sort the rough draft for that. So, basically, four people head out to a cabin in the West Virginia mountains, until their camper breaks down. Now stranded on what used to be a Civil War battlefield, a ghost tells them a really boring war story while we the viewer are treated to footage of a Civil War reenactment. The ghost wants these people to help him out for some reason. he really should have spoke up, because I really have no idea what this guy was after.I've always maintained the belief that no matter how bad a film is, I can always think of a shot-on-video flick from the mid-80's (Blood Lake) that is far worse. I do believe my theory has once and for all been shattered. However, I must admit Night Of Horror does have that distinct atmosphere I was hoping for. Just a few seconds in and it becomes quite obvious exactly how low budget this little beauty is. I just love that unfitting piano music that lets you know what kinda backwards obscurity you've stumbled upon. And the faded washed out look of the screen only confirms this. Ultimately, I approve of this film because it really seems like something I would have rented as a kid, and developed a nostalgic attachment. Forever biased.I don't know what to tell ya other than you'll either despise it, or find it fascinating, possibly hypnotizing, due to its unbelievable level of dream-like badness. I'd put my money on the first scenario. I can think of a lot better films I've seen that I liked a lot less, so, I very well can't call Night Of Horror the worst film ever made. But I'd imagine a lot of my fellow bad movie connoisseurs out there would beg to differ. Mainly, cuz there is nothing good about Night of Terror, and it offers you nothing. Because it is nothing. But I can't very well be hatin' on Night Of Horror. That's right. I'm a fan... Hey! Don't look at me like that. I never said I should be taken seriously. 4/10

Well it was a cold, bitter cold, night and I was on my way to the local video store. This old Mom n' Pop place that I had only been to a few times, the owners were very nice and had an extremely nice collection of horror films. All kinds of em' lined the shelves, zombies, vampires, werewolves, mummies, you name it and it was probably there. Growing up I had long loved a film called "Curse of the Screaming Dead" and still think it's a pretty decent flick (okay it's crap but it's crap I like). So when I found out there was another movie called "Night of Horror" which was supposedly the original film that "Curse of the Screaming Dead" was based on I was a little giddy. At the time I had just found a copy of the original "Curse of the Screaming Dead" on it's original label Mogul so finding "Night of Horror" was a must for me. God I wished I had slapped myself...So there I am in the video store searching the shelves for something to catch my eye and there it is, "Night of Horror". The movie I thought I'd probably never find was sitting right in front of me. I was a little surprised but I expected them to have a movie like this because they had been open since the dawn of video and the owner bought every movie he could get his hands on. So I bring "Night of Horror" up to the counter and I look up at the woman who has her usual smile and I asked if I could possibly buy the movie. I figured I should like it somewhat if I liked "Curse of the Screaming Dead". She looked at the box and then at her husband and he just looked at me. He looked up the film and nodded yes, come to find out the last time the tape had been rented Reagan was president so it was okay. I got the video for $2 (that should have been a huge sign if you're paying less than what it costs to rent) and I thought I made out like a bandit. Boy was I wrong.I bring the movie home and do the usual, popcorn, soda, and other assorted snacks. I sat down and pushed play on my remote and once the film started I wanted nothing more than to go both deaf and blind. First off if you're going to make a movie, learn how to light the damn thing, when there was a light it looked like someone had gotten a giant spotlight and set it down in front of the camera. And the night shots...don't even get me started. Then there's the acting...wait that was there? I don't remember acting, oh those people who were walking around and babbling incoherently those were actors? Were they trying to act bad because they pulled it off brilliantly. As for the effects, what effects!? There was a freaking' fake skull and a fog machine with a raspy, and I mean raspy, voice attached to it. That's an effect!? Bah! After it was over and I slipped out of the coma I attempted to return the movie to the store simply saying it didn't work. I told them they could keep the money but the tape was broken. They wouldn't take it...they looked at me straight in the face and said no. The nice old couple soon became the devil and his bride incarnate. I wanted to scream, they knew what they were doing the whole time. They sold me the movie because they knew it was terrible. Argh! I threw the movie back into my room and it hasn't moved from the spot it's been in for over 2 years.Until now, I reviewed it before writing this review and I have to say I hate IMDb.com, and I hate you all for making me re-watch this movie again for the purpose of this review. Oh what a tangled web you all weave...please for the love of all that's holy; avoid this movie like it were the plague, like it was a possessed horned up monkey with crabs that could very well be cooked and feed a family of 4. STAY AWAY!

It's sad when I have to use a quote from "Pod People" to describe a film, but in this case it's horribly true (no pun intended.) Tony Malinowski (the director and "Chris Starke") made this movie to fit some Civil War re-enactment footage he had shot God-knows-when, but only the Almighty can tell us WHY he did it. I'm guessing a quick buck on the Southern drive-in circuit. Certainly you have the glimmerings of a semi-decent '70s horror flick; a group of young people drive into desolate woods to check out a bit of property willed to one of them, their van breaks down, the "psychic" member of the group has "forbodings" but leads a seance, then ghosts emerge from the treeline. At this point (SPOILERS COMING!), you would expect an attack, or a chase, or a possession scene. NONE of that happens; instead the group feels sorry for the ghosts, and helps them complete a task "they swore beyond the grave to do." Nobody gets killed, though the protagonist is freaked out by the "psychic" chick he tried to pick up on the way to the woods. And did I mention that all of this is a flashback told by "Starke" to a member of his unseen rock band while sitting in the fakest basement bar ever? I mean, it doesn't even have a bartender!Besides the rock bottom script and stolid non-acting, what really hurts "Night of Horror" are the endless technical glitches. In short, they would have been better off shooting it without sound and in monochrome. The vocal track sometimes buzzes, while the film itself looks like it was shot without the right filters, and every shot is either blindingly overlit or excruciatingly underlit, though at some points you can tell that parts were lit using auto headlights. And then there's that semi-triangular patch of gunk in the bottom center of the screen. Not even Ed Wood's people would shoot 7 minutes of footage with a lens that filthy! In short just avoid this, because it just isn't worth riffing.

Evil has many dimensions. It can make you angry, it can make you quiver with fear, it can make you doubt the existence of a kind and loving Supreme Being. For years I've sought Ultimate Evil, ever since I discovered that Plan 9 not only isn't the worst film ever made, it probably shouldn't make the Bottom 20.And, while I'm always ready & eager to audition new candidates, "Night of Horror" may be -- IT. This film turns ALL the dials on the Evil Meter to 11. It will make you angry AND afraid AND plunge you into blackest despair. Picture this. You take three or four of your lumpiest mullet-headed male buddies and dress them in Confederate uniforms. Put a bucket of dry ice in front of a Ford Gran Torino and turn on the headlights. Have your buddies stand in front of the lights and shift from one foot to the other. That's the sum of your horrifying FX.Picture this. You see some goat-roper in line at Wal-Mart with 1978 REO Speedwagon hair and so skinny, his jeans fit exactly the same with the fly in the front or the back. That's your male lead. Oh - identify him as a "California rock singer" so everybody will know that he's supposed to be terminally hip.Picture this. You want to establish your female lead as being hopelessly sensitive. So you have her read an Edgar Allen Poe poem to the male lead in the back of an RV. It works too well - his voice-over tells us he's now afraid of losing his cool.This doesn't give you even a hint of how loathsome Night of Horror is. I've seen it cause even hardened veterans of the Bad Movie Wars to hit the Eject button screaming after the first twenty minutes. Manos at least had the studly cape. Zombie Lake had the naked girls' basketball team treading water. They Saved Hitler's Brain at least had Hitler's head mugging it up in the back seat. But Night of Horror has NOTHING. NOTHING. NOT ONE MOMENT of inspiration, humor, or gratuitous nay-nays. NOT ONE FRAME that doesn't look like it was shot in a koi pond and processed in bongwater. And this turkey di tutti turkeys ACTUALLY FOUND A DISTRIBUTOR. Do you understand what that means? I have no doubt that all around the world people have worse films sitting in cans in ancient Kelvinators rattling away in mouldering tool sheds, that they just can't make themselves take to the dump. But Night of Horror actually caused money to change hands - somebody screened this excrescence, said, "Yeah, I think I can make a buck off that," and cut Malanowski a check.We're there. This is it. We've touched bottom. Until Battlefield Earth 2 premieres, The Worst Movie Ever Made.