Another case of a stage play taken to the screen with no adaptation. There is a different dynamic for stage dialog versus movies, and it is painfully obvious as the characters deliver lines with no sense of pace. It comes off as a bunch of people just saying lines *at* one another. That's just one of the things that's wrong with this movie. What's worse is the loose, relatively incoherent plot. The simplistic relationship between the characters leads to a letdown when the final "dark secret" is revealed. The film tries for an intense, psychological edge; but the intensity never escalates beyond a bunch of people screaming and waving various weapons at one another, and the psychology never gets much beyond Psych 101.

Today, August 2, 2005, I happened to view the DVD for "The Mummy An' The Armadillo". Before I review the film, I will say that the only special features you get, is a "BEHIND THE SCENES", which features interviews with the beautiful, Clare Kramer, and much of the cast, including writer/director J.(JOE)S. Cardone. I learned his name was Joe from the interviews. Also, you get what is called a "Theatrical Trailer" from the back of the DVD cover box, but really is "Trailer" on the DVD, right under the "BEHIND THE SCENES" feature. Though, I have to say, I enjoyed the "BEHINDS" and the "TRAILER". Now, on with the film."The Mummy An' The Armadillo" begins with the opening credits, with flashes and sounds of lightning and visuals of certain objects, which are important pieces to the plot. We then are shown the beautifully, talented, Clare Kramer(Sarah). She opens a door, leading into, what we realize later on, is the Cafe. She wonders for a bit, trying to see who's in it, before running into Lori Heuring(Billie), who offers her coffee, to which Sarah responds, "I don't drink coffee...I have a weak bladder." Sarah sits in the table, and she and Billie get to know each other. The lights in the Cafe are off by the way, and come back on while Sarah and Billie are talking. Sarah freaks, before the lights turn on, and Billie offers her a drink. Sarah says she doesn't drink. The lights turn back on and she serves Sarah and tells her to drink, that it'll calm her nerves. Sarah says she's calm now, now that the lights are on. Billie asks Sarah if she would like to eat something. Sarah says if it wasn't a bother and asks what they have. Billie tells her to look in the menu and she starts asking for all these things that Billie doesn't have, and thinks Billie wants to get her mad, and, Billie, in the end, serves her Stew. In comes the sheriff, who starts to talk with Billie, as Sarah eats her stew. Sarah goes to the bathroom then comes back. The Sheriff tells Billie to make sure nothing happens like the last time, she assures him it won't, he later leaves. Next comes Jodi Lyn O'Keefe(Jackie), who comes in to sell Billie an object, asks Billie for $50 dollar payment, and Bille says that Jackie told her that it was for $25. They have a small quarrel about the money and Billie pays her. She stares at Sarah. Billie realize she must go, and Sarah hands her her car keys, and Billie promises to be back, tells Sarah she could have anything she wants "On the house", but, not for Jackie. She leaves and Jackie and Sarah have a small conversation, and tells Sarah what she really was eating, and Sarah stops eating. Jackie then tells Sarah that if she stays, something bad was going to happen, and Sarah says she was not going to scare her. Jackie makes it for Sarah to know, that she wasn't kidding, and she leaves. Sarah then roams the place and goes into a bedroom. She starts looking at photographs and breaks one accidentally by the loud crash noise of lightning, then decides to remove the picture from the glass, cuts herself, then takes the picture and places it in her purse. She slowly walks out of the room, only to be stuck in the head at gunpoint with a revolver, by Betty Buckley(Let). Let says she will blow her brains out if she moves and has her seated on the chair and tied by Brad Renfro(Wyatte). Let asks Sarah all sorts of questions and has Wyatte feel the heart of Sarah, holding her breast, and telling Wyatte that her heart is different and, that Sarah's was full of desire, etc. Wyatte lets go and tells Sarah he is sorry, crying, then heads out the door. Let follows him, then sits back to talk with Sarah. She drinks and passes out. Sarah calls out to Wyatte, and Wyatte comes, asking what she did, and Sarah said nothing, that she drank and passed out. Wyatte says she always does that when she reaches the end of the bottle. He puts Let to sleep and Sarah begs Wyatte to untie her. He tells her he can't until Let says it's OK. They have a personal conversation, then in comes Johnathon Schaech(Jesse), with two women he met and promised them a party. Jesse asks what's going on, looks at Sarah and winds up leaving to the bedroom, where Let sleeps, while the others just stay there. Sarah tells one of the two girls to convince Jesse to let her go. Jesse notices a broken glass on the floor, where Sarah dropped the photograph, and finds the broken picture frame on the floor, hidden under the bed, with the picture missing. He comes out, and the girl keeps her word to Sarah and asks Jesse to let Sarah go and he says no and she tells Sarah she tried. Jesse then ends the party and has the two girls leave, then tells Wyatte to go to the hole/basement and stay there. He starts messing with Sarah and eventually Billie returns and gets Jesse to stop. Jesse leaves in rage and doesn't come back for the rest of the film. Billie tells Sarah that she knows who she is, and you learn the secret of The Mummy An' The Armadillo.This was a great film. Big props for beautiful Clare Kramer, in a wonderful role, that deserves commending.

I saw this movie at a film festival in Houston. Unfortunately, the only laudable aspect of this film was Brad Renfro's performance. Outside of his character and delivery, the movie came up short on its suspense, drama, depth, and ultimately, quality.Despite a cast of potentially capable actor and actresses, the storyline was so far-fetched that the people and situations were too much for even a mammoth-sized suspension of disbelief. One ridiculous, inexplicable scene after another left you asking if how on earth any one town could have so many utterly insane people walking around on a daily basis. Unintentionally, it was like a fast-paced and unnuanced David Lynch movie that had the cinematography of Dawson's Creek and the suspense of a Meg Ryan romantic comedy.

I had the chance to see this film at the Houston Film Festival. It took me for quite a ride which is what I love about it. It had me right from the opening credits. Johnathon Schaech has some incredibly eerie scenes and one-liners that will stick in my head for quite some time. The cast put in tremendous performances and I found it fascinating to see Clare Kramer in such a serious role that I wasn't used to seeing her in. She did a great job with it. The story is quite twisted and will surely have a cult following. As it unfolds, it gets more and more disturbing until it all comes together at the end with nice shocking twist. The top-notch production value, incredible acting and very twisted story make this a fantastic ride in my book and well worth seeing.