REVENANT (originally titled MODERN VAMPIRES) is a low budget vampire comedy that was marketed as a straightforward vampire horror flick here in the UK. Either way it's a dog of a film, shot on what looks like no budget and in the dark, and made as a TV movie too. This spoofy yarn supposedly reveals the real life of the modern Hollywood vampire, which seems to involve hanging around in nightclubs and acting incredibly vapid and self-centred.A plethora of gore gags and lame make-up effects are thrown into the mix to try to make something stick, but the truth is that this is a lamentable film indeed. There's nothing worse than an unfunny comedy, and REVENANT is exactly that; I can honestly say I didn't laugh once. John Landis's INNOCENT BLOOD is a perfect example of the genre at its finest and this film doesn't even come close to the quality of that movie.Bizarrely, Rod Steiger makes an appearance as Van Helsing here, so you have to feel for him a little. But wooden actors like Casper Van Dien and Kim Cattrall both should know better. There's a mercifully brief cameo from Udo Kier, but for much of the running time we have to put up with the appalling grating accents of Craig Ferguson and his buddies. As I said, it's a dog of a film.

Other than Rod Steiger doing this tongue in cheek imitation of Laurence Olivier's Mitteleuropa accent and having a ball as a modern Dr. Van Helsing, this rather witless comedy might go over with the juvenile trade, but not too many others. It certainly does make vampires out to be such fun creatures.Natasha Gregson Wagner and Casper Van Dien are a couple of modern vampires who are tired of the rule of that most notorious vampire of them all, Count Dracula as played by Robert Pastorelli. But all of them have to worry that that famous vampire slaughterer Van Helsing who's on the prowl with some new kind of help, a few boys from the hood.Except when Steiger was on the screen I didn't get too many laughs out of this film though. Maybe it's because my taste in music just doesn't run to rap which blares at intervals during the movie. There is one other good scene I did like. Kim Catrall pulling a freight train with the Van Helsing helpers and turning them all into vampires. It's the inevitable result of sex with one.For the juvenile trade strictly.

A complete romp of a vampire movie. Tired of hackneyed vampiric angst? Tired of vanilla Hollywood vamps? Do you prefer your undead driving Camaros, smoking huge cigars and listening to The Reverend Horton Heat? This may just be the film for you. I don't think I stopped grinning at any point during this movie, except when I was laughing. This is a vampire film for people who like movies like The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Snakes on a Plane, Chopper Chicks in Zombie Town and From Dusk Till Dawn. It certainly isn't Nosferatu, but it will expose the entire Blade trilogy and every Anne Rice film adaptation to the sun and then stake them through the heart whilst screaming the Lords Prayer, and at a budget that probably amounts to about the same as two episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Highly recommended, everyone who reviewed it badly needs to chill the hell out.

By the makers of "Freeway"(96), utilizing the same wry, dark humor, with some ham: picture elderly Rod Steiger as an old Van Helsing - ze vampire hunter! Modern L.A. is the scene. Van Dien plays Dallas, a returning blood-sucker who hooks up with his old brood and contends against the local big-shot 'Count' (none other than Dracula himself, it turns out, played by Robert Pastorelli of Murphy Brown fame). Most of the humor stems from Van Helsing's recruitment of Crips gang-members as his helpers. Also, I viewed an unrated version, so the hip notions include traces of lesbianism & racy sex scenes. Winsome Wagner (daughter of Natalie Wood) is alternately cute when whining and vicious when indulging her bloodthirsty ways, growling like a bobcat in heat. Her scenes carry an odd kind of energy. The pace and execution is not as smooth as could be, however, probably due to low-budget problems. Despite the humor mentioned, this comes across as a plodding effort, unclear, episodic and not all that intelligent.