The title should say, "Don't expect much." I expected a bad script, bad acting, bad science, and bad special effects. In that regard I wasn't disappointed. If you decide to turn it off after a giant shark jumps out of the water and takes a jet out of the sky, wait. We later find out they can travel 500 knots, but have trouble catching a nuclear sub doing less than say, 40 knots. No wait. These nuclear subs have something called "emergency turbos" so maybe they can go faster. Sailors on nuclear subs don't carry handguns. Really. Who would they shoot underwater? At one point they flash the locations of the recent attacks. Nearly all were in the Pacific ocean as expected. There were 3 in the Atlantic. As Sarah Palin might tweet, "WTF?" These creatures for some unexplained reason are impervious to conventional weapons so the military led by our secret government kidnaps three scientists to employ them for information on how to kill them. They get right on the task by mixing water tainted with various vegetable dies. We discover red water added to blue water makes purple water and that blonds love Japanese men who try to act like Sulu as much as Orientals love blonds. After a romp in a closet, they figure out they can lure the creatures into certain ports (San Francisco and Tokoyo) which have a natural shelf and then trap them. The idea being they can get in, but somehow they can't get out, unless they catch a ride with a plane flying overhead. They then manufacture a phermone of an extinct animal for which they would normally have no idea where to start. We know they are successful because when they mix two liquids together it turns florescent green and Debbie Gibson smiles.At one point Japanese and American subs are in the same area. All the American subs are destroyed but one. The Japanese civilian scientist asks, which one is it, as Debbie or now Deborah Gibson is on one of them. The captain says, "No way of telling." After making subs (this film and Moby Dick) do all kinds of things beyond any smidgeon of realism, they claim they "can't tell." Really they can tell. Each sub has its own unique underwater signature.The creatures look very artificial. But what did you expect? If you enjoy getting stoned and watching "Lost in Space" episodes, give this one 5 stars.Movie drops f-bomb once, no nudity, no sex scenes.

About four years before the Sharknado series graced, or rather disgraced, the screens, this was the first in what would become a series of low-budget movies featuring the titular Mega Shark, you can probably guess the outcome of each one when you watch. Basically off the coast of Alaska, oceanographer Emma MacNeil (singer Debbie Gibson) is aboard an experimental submarine studying the migration patterns of whales. Meanwhile, a military helicopter drops experimental sonar transmitters into the water, causing a pod of whales to go out of control and ram into a nearby glacier, and the chaos causes the helicopter to crash into the glacier. The combined damage breaks the giant glacier open, thawing two hibernating, prehistoric creatures, a giant shark and a giant octopus are freed. The octopus has tentacles large enough to wrap around an entire structure, it brings down a drilling platform off the coast of Japan, while the shark has a bite powerful to destroy structures, it brings down the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco. MacNeil investigates the reports of giant creatures causing destruction, she recovers what appears to be a giant shark tooth from the corpse of a beached whale. MacNeil's old professor, former U.S. Navy pilot Lamar Sanders (Sean Lawlor), believes it belongs to a Megalodon, an enormous species of shark thought to be extinct for 1.5 million years, while Japanese scientist Dr. Seiji Shimada (Vic Chao) confirms the existence of the giant octopus. MacNeil reflects on the melting of the polar ice caps, due to man-made global warming, she wonders if the creatures are mankind's "comeuppance". The scientists work in the laboratory to develop a method to lure the creatures, MacNeil and Shimada become attracted in the process, while the naval and military forces plan many strikes to destroy the monsters. MacNeil, Sanders, and Shimada strongly oppose the use of nuclear weapons, as an alternative, MacNeil suggests using a pheromone to attract both prehistoric beasts, the two creatures are believed to have been frozen in ice locked in combat, they must be natural rivals and their aggressiveness towards one another will cause them to fight to the death if they're lured together. The shark and octopus are brought together and begin to fight, they part once or twice to attack the oncoming submarines and attack ships, in engaged in a fierce battle, the octopus strangles the shark to death, while the octopus dies from blood loss, dismembering its tentacles, the two still locked from their battle sink to the bottom of the ocean. Also starring Lorenzo Lamas as Allan Baxter, Mark Hengst as Dick Ritchie, Michael The as Takeo, Jonathan Nation as Vince and Chris Haley as Kenji. There's not really any point mentioning the cast, it is unclear if they are taking things seriously or not, as with many movies like this, the story is absolutely ridiculous, the script and dialogue is nonsense, and the special effects are far away from special, they are atrocious, it is just a complete waste of time, a crap science-fiction horror. Poor!

Bad special effects, rubbish sets, ridiculous story line, poor, unconvincing acting - including a has been pop star - why do they keep churning these stupid, trashy movies out?? For suckers like me to keep watching!! Some of these Mega movies are funny because they are so stupid but this one can't even achieve that. Avoid

After being released from the Arctic, a biologist joins with a military operation trying to track down and destroy an escaped Megalodon and a giant octopus who've rejoined an ancient feud that's destroying the world.While this one was a slight disappointment, there's still a lot of enjoyable elements to this one. What really works in this one is the film's briefer attacks here, as there's plenty of fun, exciting sequences that are fun, short and immensely cheesy and manage to include both creatures getting ample screen-time to accomplish this. The octopus here manages to get a great attack on an oil rig ripping it to pieces and getting a fine ambush on a fighter jet, while the shark gets the highlight as it takes out a jet up in the sky and a spectacular battle in San Francisco Bay where the military battle leads nicely into the destruction of the Golden Gate Bridge. The shark manages to hold on with several other great scenes here with the submarine chase out in the high seas which is incredibly thrilling due to the high-speed-chase nature of the scenes and the close encounters of the attacks against the subs, and a huge lead-in to the sea-caverns escape gives this a lot to like overall. Even the titular battles comes off great, as there's a few opening rounds before getting to an extended, drawn-out battle that's incredibly fun and exciting as the battle switches up the aggressor and who's in charge of the fight in a spectacularly cheesy scene that nice nicely follows the type of cheese featured in the rest of the film. As well as the cheesy fun, there's more fun in the opening release of the creatures in the midst of the traveling whale pod that makes this one come off really well and gives it a lot of enjoyable times here. These here are enough to make this one enjoyable even though there's a few problems in here. The biggest issues in this one is the absolutely ridiculous CGI here, which is a lot more prevalent here than in most others out there. There's the usual feature of keeping the creatures looking obvious and unrealistic by being completely low-tech versions that rarely interact with their surroundings all too well, but another issue strikes up here with the film prolonging the action by either repeating shots from elsewhere over and over again or keeping in a series of shots that don't really mesh together all too well. Scenes like the destroyer battle out in the open sea or their final battle together in are both highly appropriate forms of this one as they're both CGI heavy that are just woefully executed and aren't really good enough to be cheesy with the repetition of these flaws through along the scenes. The other big flaw here is the really troubling pace here that keeps the action stifled to a few isolated segments here as the film takes on several different plot lines that keep the shark action in favor of these lame story lines, from the contrived romance and the scenes of the group talking tough with the military that eats up so much time that it keeps the creature action out of this one. These here are the film's real flaws.Rated R: Graphic Language and Graphic Violence.