Lumberjack Man
Lumberjack Man
| 16 October 2015 (USA)
Lumberjack Man Trailers

As the staff of Good Friends Church Camp prepares for a spring break filled with "Fun Under the Son", a demon logger rises from his sap boiler to wreak his vengeance and feast on flapjacks soaked in the blood of his victims.

Reviews
mistela67

I have nothing to spoil here because the story is bland, basic, and you've seen it before. What I will say is that this movie is one the strangest movies I've seen in many years. It's very anti-female, slicing and dicing young women relentlessly. It also features barely legal porn stars who think they can act, dancing and prancing with their breast swinging in the air. Several scenes with ugly males hooking up with hot females, all of them showing T and A before they get decapitated, impaled, or whatever. And the girls totally look underage, which is either enticing or bothersome. Acting is high school level. Violence is sometimes dramatically approached, not comedic, and protracted and overdone. It makes the whole experience very odd. Several homosexual references made to both sexes. It's just a horrible movie. BUT, it will stay on my DVR only because of the eye-candy. Call me a hypocrite. 4 stars for the gorgeous young ladies. 0 for the movie. itself.

... View More
pendenquejohn

While this movie is the caricature self of horror movies (e.g. a group of people going in the woods and dying one by one), there was probably some small potential with this movie if the acting was far more superior than what was shown [...]Before talking about this specific element, this movie really struggled in a terrible manner between "comedy" and horror. There must be a reason why there was so much over-the-top gore! The movie failed somewhere and the excess gore was just a manner of covering up that thing. I blame the acting and overall weak story.indeed, watching closely, the majority of the actresses suck at acting all together except probably in the genuine moments of joy when they played with one another between adolescents. Certainly the only moment they were able to bring me to their world.In many scenes, Ciara Flynn was just not credible. She has this cold and distant thing about her that just does not invite people into her world. She has a hard time grasping people's emotions because she is just terrible at transposing them [...] That scene at the end is just the pure representation of what she's been in this movie where she is caught trying to play so many different roles at time for intrinsic capabilities that I really felt sorry for her.I could name a few other girls but you can see that half and more are not even known to the general public. They were just not credible for a horror movie.Finally, this movie really has some fundamental flaws. Half or more of the kids were disappearing and no one really ever bothered, which is weird -; whichever, the attitudes of the kids in front the demon was a complete farce. I mean, I can understand that you are afraid but stupid? Do we human beings react this stupidly in front frightful situations? No! And, that's why somehow this is a caricature.You had the feeling that these people were just voluntarily putting themselves out there to get killed. I'm not even going to mention that stupid policewoman her lieutenant who basically never ever really served to anything other than being fundamentally dumb in this movie.The whole thing failed on both accounts: first at being funny as they attempted many times and second at being a horror movie because of how bad the acting was all together.

... View More
brasco-63139

WTF was that, is the only thing that was running through my mind when the movie ended. I am going to list several things below, and if you like any of these things, then you will probably watch this movie. Before I start I just want to say on the record, this is a horrible movie. I am dumber for ever having watched 10 seconds of it, let alone an hour and a half. I would have turned it off, but I am not a quitter, and I was hoping that at some point it would redeem itself. I was wrong. Well, here goes. 1) Tits - There are more tits in this movie than I have ever seen in any move...EVER! This statement alone will probably get half the male population to watch it, and some females. 2) Very, Very, Cheesy poorly developed plots - The plot in a nutshell, tits, weirdly incarnated maniac, tits, tits, super cheesy ending. 3) Michael Madsen - I personally am a Madsen fan, because of reservoir dogs alone, but I have to believe that this movie for him was all about a paycheck. Please Michael tell me that's what it was. So in recap, tits tits tits, bad acting, more tits, bad slasher, and tits. On the plus side its a really cool cover.

... View More
jimbo15

Maybe you have to be in the right mood with the right taste in comedy to enjoy this movie, which is why I think many other reviews are negative. But dang it if I wasn't in the right mood with the right taste in comedy. That doesn't make it a great movie, but it was just the right amount of blood, boobs, and genuine chuckles that I wanted.My advice for enjoying it would be not to expect a good horror movie. It's a decent comedy that alternates between self-aware mockery and nonsensical goofiness (though it's not always 100% clear if it's on purpose).I'd love to hear a director's commentary on this. I'm sure it would be a lot of: "We don't know why we did it this way, but it was funny." or "This didn't quite work, but we left it in." "They didn't have lines, so we let them say whatever."

... View More