Notorious 70's Golden Age adult cinema icon Linda Lovelace decides to run for president as the chosen candidate of the freshly formed Upright party. Directors Claudio Guzman and Arthur Marks fumble the ball when it comes to the utterly ramshackle narrative, but fortunately keep this infectiously asinine enterprise bouncing along at a constant breakneck pace and maintain a cheerfully puerile kitschy tone that's positively engaging in its unapologetic giddy inanity. The blithely crude script by Jack Margolis is rife with bawdy double entendres, offensive racial stereotypes, leering sexual innuendo, and groan-inducing below the belt jokes. Naturally, Lovelace disrobes with pleasing regularity and participates in a few raunchy simulated sex scenes. The game cast has a field day with the loopy material: Micky Dolenz as a clumsy myopic bus driver, Val Bisoglio as a raving lunatic preacher, Garry Goodrow as a crazy Nazi, Joey Forman as a kooky Chinese guy, Morgan Upton as a lecherous pedophile, and Chuck McCann as a bumbling hitman. Popping up in small roles are Art Metrano as a nutty sheik, Diane Lee Hart as a foxy harem girl, Scatman Crothers as a pool player, and Robbie Lee as a ditsy hillbilly hitchhiker. Although not much of an actress, Lovelace nonetheless has a bubbly and charming enough personality to keep this zany movie humming. A dippy hoot.

It's true that this cheesy flick is manically silly and zips right along with one silly goofy bit after another, but it does have lots of great old 1960s comedians in it. Older folks may recognize Chuck McCann, Joey Forman, Scatman Cruthers, Vaughn Meader, Marty Ingels, Joe E. Ross, and best of all Stanley Myron Handelman, who was a regularly featured comedian on the Dean Martin Variety Show. This movie also has Micky Dolenz of The Monkees in it. It was strange to see one of the best all-time kid show emcees, Chuck McCann play a racist and very lecherous weirdo called "The Assassin". I watched and loved the Chuck McCann show when I was a kid in the early-to mid-1960s. He and Sandy Becker were the all-time best and funniest kid show hosts. Linda Lovelace looks great and very sexy, but unfortunately apparently had no acting skills whatsoever. All in all though, this movie is very watch-able and if you remember those great old comedians the way I do, and you like a little irreverence in your comedy movies, check this one out if you can find it. I wish there was some footage of Stanley Myron Handelman doing his hilarious routine on stage, but alas there isn't. Rest in peace O great one. You are missed.

With the better part of the decade conflict in Vietnam and the debacle that was Richard Nixon, trust in the government was low. It isn't a surprise that a farce like this came out. A committee of diverse stereotypes, angry black man, angry woman, cheery gay man, pious preacher, and a Nazi, come together and after rejecting many individuals, choose Linda Lovelace for president. Why? They say it's because she's a nice girl. Actually there never really is a reason other than it's funny, which seems to be the mantra of the movie. Just laugh, it's funny. Sometimes, it succeeds, like when two politicians haggle over what they'll conceal about each other's candidates. Linda Lovelace is a good gauge of this movie. She isn't allowed to perform her greatest talent, has her freckles covered by makeup, and is given a bunch of lame jokes to hint at the thing that she can't show us. The movie doesn't even have much respect for her and I don't think anybody could make some of these jokes work. It's not bad for a few laughs, but if you really want to see why Linda is revered, watch Deep Throat.

At a political convention staged in an open field, during which we're treated to such zaniness as Polish jokes and pie fights, "Deep Throat" star Linda Lovelace is chosen, unbeknownst to her, as candidate for President of the United States. Following this too-long-at-15-minutes intro, we see Linda address a crowd of admirers. "Thanks for coming," she tells the crowd, then, following embarrassed giggles, "I guess I'm really blowing it." More laughter. And these are the good jokes. Not that anyone would've expected any better from this sloppy farce that plays like a dirty-minded Three Stooges movie--only not that good. While everyone else in the movie overacts shamelessly (apparently cast members were directed to simply run around like idiots, shouting nonsense--in a "kooky" accent if possible--while the cameras rolled and everyone hoped for the best), Lovelace manages to walk through her movie with relative dignity. And walk through she does, wearing the type of pained smile one sees on wives enduring a visit from their mother-in-law, stopping occasionally to lose her dress, showing off her silicone-injected breasts and indulging in some simulated humping. Lovelace claimed, years later, that she was coerced into making "Deep Throat," yet she seemed so much more at ease and natural in that movie. It's "Linda Lovelace for President" that she seems to be making under duress. Along for a paycheck (and not a very big one) are Scatman Crothers and ex-Monkey Micky Dolenz in small roles. This rare pop culture oddity is worth a look if you can find a copy, though its entertainment value is solely derived from its unabashed awfulness and seeing the late Linda Lovelace make a pitiful attempt at launching a "legitimate" film career.