A poor movie whose only real merit is the effectiveness of the James Corden/Matthew Horne buddy relationship fronting it up.Lesbian Vampire Killers is of course intended to be a spoof of gross-out horror movies, so it's difficult to criticise it too much for the pathetic attempts at creating fearful vampirical lesbians.So it's a good job that plenty of room is allowed for Corden to deliver a series of moderately amusing one-liners such as "Even dead women'd sooner sleep with each other than get with me it would appear." Unfortunately, by the climax, the comedy is well and truly exhausted and the movie really creaks at the seams as the heroes go about defeating the vampire queen by means of a phallus-handled sword.

A misogynist and sexist film. In addition to displaying young and beautiful women's bodies as objects, they are killed in grotesque ways for having committed the crime of being lewd and lesbians. And they die by being crossed by a sword that resembles a penis and explode in a white jam that seems sperm.One might say I'm exaggerating, but how to justify that the fat coward boy has the idea of filling condoms with holy water to throw at the vampires?The only girl who is saved is the virgin who wears more clothes.This film is a synthesis of practices that Bram Dijkstra calls therapeutic rape. The girls who show their sensuality are all punished by symbolic phalluses.It's very disappointing that a film for young men educates them with such a disgusting mentality. Questionable taste jokes complete a movie whose veiled message is that sexy women are dangerous.If it were not my professional duty, I would never had wasted my time watching this pure garbage.

I had heard that this film was pretty poor before watching it but hoped it might be in the 'so bad it is good' category of film… unfortunately it was just bad. It wasn't very funny so failed as a comedy and wasn't scary so failed as a horror film. The protagonists are Jimmy and Fletch two unlikable characters who have been dumped by his girlfriend and sacked from his job respectively. Unable to afford a holiday abroad they though a dart into a map of Britain and end up going to a village in Norfolk. Once there the landlord of the rather creepy pub gives them free beer and tells them they can stay in a nearby cottage… along with the van load of beautiful women they saw as they arrived. Once there it looks as if the boys will get lucky until the lesbian vampires turn up. Jimmy and one of the girls are captured and used in a ritual to raise the vampire queen; luckily the local vicar has told Fletch what must be done to kill her.This film was more disappointing than I'd expected; the only chuckle I had was when Fletch pushed a large-breasted vampire into a shower while the vicar blessed the water and was left holding a pair of implants. James Corden and Mathew Horne play Fletch and Jimmy; they are better known from their TV comedy and that might be why several scenes felt like they were sketches from a TV comedy. As for the lesbian vampires; they just seemed to wave their arms about a bit so if you were hoping for some mild titillation as compensation for the lack of laughs and scares you'll probable be disappointed. I wouldn't bother watching this unless you can't sleep and it is on late night television.

(Credit IMDb) Centuries ago, Baron Wolfgang MacLaren vanquished the Vampire Queen Carmilla in the remote Cragwich; however, before decapitating the evil vampire, she curses the locals and descendants of the baron, swearing that every woman would turn into a lesbian vampire on the eighteenth birthday. On the present days, the clumsy and naive cuckold Jimmy is dumped again by his girlfriend Judy and misses her. His best friend Fletch is fired in his job of clown after hitting an annoying boy. The two friends are broken and decide to camp in the countryside to forget their problems, and Jimmy throws a dart in a map in a pub to decide where they should go. They head to Cragwich and when they arrive in the bar Baron's Rest, they see four hot girls leaving the place in a Kombi. The innkeeper offers the old Mircalla cottage in the woods for them, the same place the girls will lodge. Meanwhile, Lotte, Heide,...I rented this out of pure curiosity, due to the titling itself. I really didn't expect much for a film of this nature, and I pretty much got what I bargained for. It's nothing downright horrible, but nothing overly amusing either. It tries so hard to follow in the vain of Shaun of the Dead, but it doesn't have the laughs or the talent to accomplish that feat. The characters themselves aren't very intriguing, and it really only gained steam for me in the final 35 minutes or so. Bottom line. Mediocre sums up the word for this movie perfectly. Don't remember much about it, don't really care too. Worth a look I guess, but it's vastly forgettable.4 ½ /10