VIDEO TO THE MAX!!!One of my favorite comedies of the 80's, "Joysticks" is a profoundly corny and highly "video-centric" tale. It revolves around Jeff Bailey's super-hip, video arcade and all the colorful (and off-color) going-on's that happen on it's premises. The video arcade proves to be universally popular with the kids - but not so for the adults, one in particular takes great offense to the arcade, a wealthy local businessman named Joseph Rutter (Joe Don Baker) and he proves to be not just Jeff Bailey's nemesis, but a nemesis to all those who frequent the beloved arcade. For the next hour and half it's a battle of wits (though often it seems like a lack of wits) between two opposing sides: Jeff Bailey and his fellow video enthusiast's and Mr. Rutter and his two, bumbling, half-wit cronies. The key reason for Rutter's hatred for the place is because his foxy, young, daughter "Patsy" (your stereo-typical Valley Girl) is extremely fond of Jeff Bailey and his arcade; on multiple occasions old man Rutter comes in and "collects" his daughter from the arcade, which he views as a modern Sodom and Gomorrah. Eventually their feud spills into the courts and becomes the case of Bailey vs. Rutter, which I won't give away their decision. The film ends in a climatic, video game face-off (the arcades very existence is at stake) which pits Jeff Bailey against Rutter's hand-picked contender, his royal highness - King Vidiot (a loud-mouthed, eccentric, gangleader and a vengeful, disenfranchised, former frequenter of Jeff Bailey's arcade) through some back-handed dealings, Rutter's grand strategy almost works out to his advantage, but not to give away it's finale I'll speak no further on the matter.Joysticks - a riotous comedy, that's audaciously lewd and crude and seems to be proud of it, because it's lewd content is brilliantly handled with such a slick and effortless grace (a testament to the director and cast, who all seem to be having a blast), not single scene fails to deliver and the whole movie is very much in the spirit of the early 80's. What ambiance! Jeff Bailey's place is very true to what you'd expect to see and hear in large video game arcade (complete with snack-bar and an employee's lounge) and somehow it's noisy and crowded confines are a perfect setting for the films comic hi-jinks. Now obviously the video games/coin-op machines that are seen in this movie are of an extremely vintage era and compared to today's arcade games (or even those of 20 years ago) are profoundly dated - for instance "Pac-Man" as it turns out, was a brand new title when this was filmed in late 1982; a fact which only seems to add to the movies charm and aura of a by-gone era. Fun stuff indeed, if you can find a copy, because this movie seems to be nearly as obscure, as it is funny.For a movie that's based around such lowbrow material, which was directed by the likes of a B-lister like Greydon Clarke, the acting seen here is of a much higher caliber then one would expect and several members of the cast deliver terrifically effective and entertaining performances. My favorite being the performance of the hilarious and rotund Jim Leafgreen - he's the fat, lovable, slob of the movie. Joysticks is typical of comedies of the era in another way, due to the fact that it's brimming with lots good gags, there's at least one gag in ever other scene. Joysticks comes off as a highly effective comedy, that which revels in a thick atmosphere of lewd and sultry humor and in addition to that, it also has it's own fair share of T & A and factually speaking, there's at least one Playboy Bunny in this movie - you'll see her in the movies opening scene, which and with Pac-Man's help, seamlessly segues from it's incredible opening credits sequence (more on that in a moment). On a stylistic touch, on at least eight occasions, a Pac-Man graphic (complete with authentic SFX) will appear and effectively serves as a wipe, taking us to the next scene - in style. I saved what's perhaps the best part for last, Joysticks has the most tastelessly corny opening credits sequence you'll ever see (or hear!), composed of shots that alternate between a video game (it pretty much looks like "Pole Position" to me) and a hot, busty, blonde whose playing it with rabid enthusiasm while jerkin' it's joystick. That's right, Jeff Bailey's arcade works it's magic right from the get go! However, it's opening song is even better yet. Joysticks has a !SPECTACULAR! opening theme song, a driving hard rock number lead by a powerful vocalist, this tune is as hard rockin', as it is ridiculously tasteless. With such lines as "Humanoid's, UFO's - all day, all night - video to the max!!!" or it's chorus "VID-E-O! I need another quarter - VID-E-O! Please let me have a quarter - VID-E-O! I GOT TO HAVE ANOTHER QUARTER! - TOTALLY AWESOME VIDEO GAME!". It's an exhilarating thing to hear and If there was an award ceremony that represents the musical equivalent of the Razzy Award's, well, I'm completely confident that the Joystick theme would, easily, take home the trophy.Once it's all said "Joysticks" certainly isn't anything remotely classy, but it most definitely is class-ic.On a final thought: The way I see it, the only thing that's really missing from Joysticks is Eddie Deezen. How great would it have been to of had him, in one his patently zany and over-the-top cameo's. Eddie's absence is certainly a missed opportunity, he's the embodiment of "the nerd actor" and the best of his kind.

Video games and topless girls. On paper, that's a blue medal idea, especially in the early '80s. But as teen sex comedies go, JOYSTICKS is as cheap as they come. There's not really a plot here so much as a series of raunchy scenes mixed in with goofball hijinks; think ANIMAL HOUSE with coin-op (right down to a low-rent Belushi). But the laughs are nowhere to be found. I tried to put myself back in a teenager mindset, but no chuckles. Make no mistake, there's no high-and-mighty here; if it were just 70 minutes of jiggly ladies playing Pac-Man, this rating would be a lot higher (and I'm all for seeing an arcade being used as a setting). But there's way too much time devoted to flat actors and lame material.4/10

Joe Don Baker (along way from his Walking Tall glory days, he'd bounce back though) plays Joseph Rutter a father who is mad that his daughter is always hanging out at the local video arcade. He crusades to shut it down, but the management and the other local arcaders have something to say about that. Cue 'hijinks and misadventures' and gaming contests. This movie can and will trick you into thinking it's going to be a fun, if totally guilty pleasure, film at the beginning. The opening theme song is amazingly memorable in that '80's kitchy kind of way that you can't help but smile. The first, I don't know, maybe 10 minutes seem to reinforce that you'll be in for a forgotten classic of teen sex movies of yesterday. But then it goes wrong, horribly wrong. The jokes turn stale, everyone involved grows slightly more stupid (not that they were anywhere close to MENSA members before, but you know what I mean) And the movie just loses pretty much everything it may have had going for it, ceasing to be fun or even entertaining. I really wonder if there will ever be a good film centered around video games (in all likelihood not, but one can dream) My Grade: D Eye Candy:Kym Malin & Kim Michel get topless; Erin Halligan shows all

I can't believe all the harsh reviews this movie gets. I think it's a true work of deliciously dreadful 80's trash exploitation movie art that totally nails the rampant hedonism and stupidity of adolescence with uncanny accuracy. All the kids want to do in this film are play video games or make out. They have no ambitions or aspirations towards doing anything meaningful or significant with their lives. They just wanna party and have fun. Come on, people, that's exactly what being a teenager is all about! And boy does "Joysticks" peg this blithely moronic mindset with spot-on incisiveness and authenticity. This movie reaches its true moment of absolute cinematic greatness during the legendary strip video sequence. When the camera pans down to show the hot chick's ample breasts jiggling up and down in extreme eye-popping close-up as she plays the video game those beauteous bouncing boobs perform a majestic ballet that just screams "gleefully mindless sleazy entertainment!" Yeah, the acting stinks, the plot's a paper-thin joke, the humor is crude and sophomoric, the production values are strictly rock bottom, and the 80's slang, clothes, and hairstyles now are hopelessly dated and laughable at this point in time, but "Joysticks" nonetheless reigns supreme as a genuine tacky no-brainer dreck artifact of its era.