I will keep this short and sweet...This is probably the worst movie that I ever seen in five years....The plot from the start is asinine but demonstrates the consumerist zombie American culture perfectly. You're telling me that in one of the largest cities in the world, you cant find one G.D toy? PLEASE! Then you have Sinbad playing this guy who wants the toy too for his kid, who also apparently can't find it in the same city, so he makes it his mission to get if from Schwarzenegger's character's kid...That's scummy enough...But to top it all off, the cherry on the ice cream, is at the end of the movie the kid actually hands the toy to Sinbad in some tacked-on phony sentimentality....I wanted to kill the kid! The only thing that was positive in this movie is Phil Hartman. He made the movie tolerable, but it was an infuriating waste of good talent. I cannot believe this movie even got a 5....Goes to show you how much the American collective intelligence has dropped!

Continuing my plan to watch ever movie in Arnold Schwarzenegger's filmography in order, I come to Jingle All The Way. Plot In A Paragraph: A workaholic father (Arnie) vows to get his son a Turbo Man action figure for Christmas, however, it's Christmas Eve and every store is sold out of them. I hated this movie when it first came out. I went to see this on Boxing Day 1996, This was not the type of movie I was wanting from Arnie. The fact that I watched Sly in Daylight before it, probably didn't help it, but I still hated it, and never watched it again for years. Then years passed and my kids both watched it every Christmas, and over time it has grew on me. I now appreciate the frantic struggle to get your son that one present he must have.That said........Some of Arnie's worst acting is on display here..... When he is trying to act all natural and happy with his son at the beginning (same as the thumb war scene in True Lies) he just looks like a poor actor. Thankfully there are not many of those scenes, and we get to a movie I now enjoy as much as Twins and Kindergarten Cop. Jake Lloyd (The future Darth Vader) is OK, as is Rita Wilson, Phil Hartman is perfect as the annoyingly slimy and Smug neighbour whilst Sinbad does, what he does in every movie.The finale is more than slightly ludicrous, and it can be tedious at times, but I can still watch it and smile.As with Junior and Eraser, Arnie barely mentions Jingle All The Way in his autobiography Total Recall. It only warrants one passing mention, and that is when he said he already had Eraser and Jingle All The Way lined up as Last Action Hero tanked. Jingle All The Way was the 22nd highest grossing movie of 1996, with a domestic haul of $60 million.

Jingle all the Way (1996): Dir: Brian Levant / Cast: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sinbad, Rita Wilson, Phil Hartman, James Belushi: Perhaps the stupidest Christmas film imaginable. It had to be a real warped mind to conjure this garbage up. A man is stampeded by a group of immature adults seeking a Turbo Man action figure. This is obviously the Christmas version of lame action movies with violence toned down to Arnold Schwarzenegger clubbing a line of Santas with a giant candy cane. Directed by Brian Levant who was responsible for the horrible screen adaptation of The Flintstones. Well, he hits even lower notes here. Schwarzenegger and mail carrier Sinbad compete for the action figure in what can easily be described as career suicide for both. One particularly stupid scene at a radio station has Sinbad holding off police with a gift that he claims is a bomb. When it actually turns out to be a bomb, Sinbad asks, "What is the world coming to?" Perhaps the screenwriter can fill us in. In lame supporting roles are Rita Wilson as Schwarzenegger's wife and Phil Hartman as his womanizing neighbor who threatens to move in on Wilson. James Belushi plays a nasty mall Santa who candy cane battles Schwarzenegger and it is embarrassing to watch. The film so cheap that it should be wrapped in a trash bag in hopes that Santa will deliver it down the nearest chimney fire. Score: 0 / 10

Jingle All The Way is one of the most demented holiday comedies I've ever laid eyes on. It stars a yowling, hopped up Arnold Schwarzenegger as a neglectful dad stuck in a mad dash to get ahold of a special Toy for his son on Christmas Eve, plagued by all kinds of random, inane obstacles including trying to pronounce words so he doesn't sound like he's got a mouthful of eggnog in every scene. He's an odd choice to play the role, and it's almost as if Jim Carrey or Robin Williams called in sick for a month and he picked up the slack. It's stupid, it's clunky, it's beyond ridiculous.... and somehow works perfectly. Ahnuld's amps up his awkward, oblong charm and blunders around like an Austrian bull in a china shop, but sells the movie in his own unbelievable way. He's promised his kid (Anakin Skywalker) that he'll get a him a Turbo Man doll for Christmas, which just happens to be the hottest item of the season, causing quite an ordeal for him as the days goes on. He's hampered by a sleazy mall Santa (Jim Belushi), an angry reindeer, millions of rabid shoppers, his smarmy neighbour (the late Phil Hartman) and a mailman (cringeworthy Sinbad, whose picture you'll find next to both retarded and unfunny in the dictionary) who also seeks the elusive Turbo Man. The finale reaches sparing heights of unapologetic implausibility and just a hint of touching, father son bonding between the terminator and future darth vader. I dare not touch the sequel (starring Larry The stupid Cable Guy) with a ten foot North Pole. This one was a bundle of silly fun though.