I watched this carefully and noted the comments from other reviewers, and I wanted to find something to disagree with them so I could offer a more balanced opinion. I think it's important to have a wide variety of opinions from different people so that you are left with a much more accurate impression of what the movie is about. However I failed, there's no saving graces, it's rubbish. It is in fact an anachronism and I suspect Danny DeVito signed up to it as he simply doesn't get parts anymore so he'll grasp at anything. More than likely Malin Ackerman did the same, she realises she's out in the cold and wants to come back in but can't grasp that she can't act. Robert Forster is the only saving grace of this film, he's consistently excellent and believable but his role was so small that he did nothing to lift the movie. Don't waste you time, I'd rather do housework than watch it again.

Los Angeles, late 50s. Police detective Rufus Sewell ('Dark City') steals a suitcase full of money from a group of robbers who just did a successful heist. He holes up in a hotel room while trying to think of his next move. In the course of the night he comes into contact with a string of people including shower door installer Danny DeVito ('L.A. Confidential'), nightclub singer Carla Gugino ('Sin City') and cleaning lady Rosario Dawson ('Sin City'), and as the movie progresses, all the links between the various characters become clearer and tighter.Written and directed by Sebastian Gutierrez ('Gothika', 'Judas Kiss') this neo-noir somehow went under the radar and wasn't even theatrically released?! The cast above is well-known as is, but it also includes other well-known faces like Robert Forster ('Mulholland Drive') and Kevin Connolly ('Entourage')... In any case, it's a shame as this is clearly a labor of love. The movie plays out in a non-linear fashion with a lot of flashbacks, voice- over narration (by different persons) and people telling their side of things so gradually more and more information is revealed and how each person fits into the overall story. It's a neo-noir through and through, but it also stands out in many ways. Filmed in gorgeous black & white the movie starts off focusing on DeVito, before turning to Sewell... or is it really Gugino's story? Or someone else's? Because of the way it is told, paying attention is required, as well as sticking with it... Things are fairly slow at first because all the characters need to be introduced somehow, including some which do seem a bit redundant and don't add a lot to the end result. But as the pace of revealing information increases, so does the movie's level. It's not a perfect movie by any means, but a fairly unique neo-noir all the same and well worth watching. 7/10

Those familiar with writer/ director Sebastian Gutierrez work know that probably the best thing about his films are the actors in them. This one contains his Carla Gugino, who has seemingly been in most of his films; Rosario Dawson; Danny DeVito; Michael B. Jordan, in a small role; and actress Malin Akerman. Combined, I wouldn't say this film is as interesting as previous efforts like Girl Walks Into a Bar or even the Elektra Luxx series, but more so Gutierrez experimenting with his style.Characters & StoryThe featured characters of the film include Felix (played by Rufus Sewell) who is a cop who fell in love with the film's damsel in distress Mary (played by Malin Akerman); and they share the focus of the film with Eugene (played by Danny DeVito) a traveling shower door salesman; Hannah (played by Carla Gugino) a touring lounge singer; Sevilla (played by Rosario Dawson) the hotel's maid, and seemingly a prostitute; and the last person worth mentioning is Felix's partner Jim (played by Robert Forster) a man who you don't really take note of at first, but ends up waking Felix from his dream.As for the story as a whole, the main story deals with Hannah speaking with Felix who talks about the last few days, weeks, or perhaps months, of his life. He fell in love with a dancer named Mary, a girl caught up with some bad people, who he has sacrificed a lot for, and is willing to sacrifice whatever it takes to have a happy ending for. Meanwhile, Hannah has her own issues with a crappy man in her life who has a complex about the way Felix looks at her, and seems to go to Sevilla in order to work out his frustrations. Leading to an film which at first seems like a big disjointed mess, but eventually all stories find a way to meet and make it so that the knot it untied and everything ends making sense.Praise When it comes to Hotel Noir, I must admit that it doesn't have a lot of things which stand out worth praising. I will admit that I was glad to see Carla Gugino in something, and she does an alright job as Hannah, but even though she probably was the best in the film, it wasn't saying much. One thing though, which I will admit was good about the film is that somewhere within the 2nd half, after introductions and tedious dialog, it somehow became interesting.CriticismBut there lies the problem. Though not as pretentious as The Counselor, when it comes to dialog, it can get just as boring at times. Being that this is a crime drama, Gutierrez doesn't employ his usual humor and dialog and tries to make things a bit more serious to fit the tone, due to this, the film for the first half feels a bit like a drag. I attribute this mostly because Gugino and Sewell just don't make the best of scene partners, and while Sewell has the look for a noir film star, he doesn't have the charisma to really draw you in and make you care, nor does his love interest Akerman.Perhaps, another issue worth noting, is that the story isn't really the most appealing either. For anyone who has taken a basic film study course, with a focus on genres, it seems the focus of the film was just checking off what are the requirements to call your film a noir. Make it in Black & White: Check; have a cop: check; make sure to have a damsel in distress: check; make sure to include backstabbing: check; and it seems once those elements were met, those involved just winged the rest of it.Overall: TV ViewingIf this so happens to come on TV, or hopefully online like Girl Walks Into A Bar, I would say it would be worth watching. Is it the best thing I've ever seen? Far from it, but it is good enough for a lazy Sunday, or just background noise for a nap. The music is easy on the ears, and there is, sadly, only a few bits of action which could probably wake you up. Otherwise, the story is dull enough to not make you feel like you are missing anything and, after watching it straight through, I can definitely say that unless you are a fan of someone involved, skipping this movie altogether isn't the hugest of losses.

I came to IMDb looking for a review to decide on whether to watch this and there wasn't one so I let that decide in the movie's favor as I figured to write one for it.I liked it. Any movie with the word 'noir' in the title has work to do to avoid the clichés that the genre forces it to reference. The characters have to be one-dimensional and fit the molds. The dialog has to be clipped and clever. Yet this movie is homage to noir as well as being a fun yarn in its own right. It's stylish and stylized with narration and inner monologues from multiple characters. There's flashbacks and story tangents from all the main characters, that stand on their own as but also get sewn together by the end. It's black and white but you stop noticing that early on because the medium matches the tone of the movie so well.If you're in the mood for light story-telling that's well thought out then Hotel Noir is a fine place to spend an evening.