It *is* always a bad omen when you find out something was produced by them. Have you ever wondered what Army of Darkness would have looked like without humor or fun, and if put together by no-talent hacks? I know, right, me neither, not for a second. Well, evidently, this is what would come out of such. I speak in hypothetical terms, since part of my coping with having watched this is telling myself that it doesn't really exist, that it was nothing more than a fever-induced nightmare(the movie itself as much as the idea of something like it actually having been made), as it is truly unbelievable. Baldwin, in a performance that simply must be the very low-point of his career(!), travels back in time without trying to, and finds medieval warriors willing to use their swords, that all hold the ability to harm without being seen penetrating flesh, provided Ash helps defeat the monsters that kill, mainly by virtue of hideous sounds and music(I'm afraid I cannot bring myself to think for a second that they meant it to be that awful) as well as being brought to life by effects so immensely poor that the beings don't need to tear out the eyes of the audience, as they will feel inclined to do so just from attempting to watch this. The acting is bad. The random accents... eugh. The dialog tries extremely hard at being clever, and fails utterly miserably. Any laughs this gets are unintentional ones. This underwent a massive surgery, to replace all possible original material with painful clichés, and the operation was a complete success. What's with the transitions? Did someone peer at a cut, and think that *that* was what was wrong? The editing in general ranges between average and below. At least one character is there purely to deliver exposition, and they didn't even try to cover it up. I don't know the extent of Stan Lee's involvement in this, however, as a big fan of several of his creations, I would say, even if you love his work, you can afford to stay far away from this one. I presume the sole reason Sam Raimi didn't sue the production is that he'd have to not only have seen it, but also admit to sitting through any of it. I recommend this only as fodder for MST3King, to anyone who enjoys doing so. 1/10
... View MoreThis has got to be one of the worst waste of time I have ever seen. The acting is amateur and costume, make-up, and sets are severely low budget. The actors can't decide if they are from Brooklyn or England. Half the time they try and speak with a fake accent, the rest of the time, they just don't care.Stunts? Ha Ha. There is one scene where a guy is speared through the "chest" and as he falls down he turns to the right it is plainly obvious the spear is under his arm. I have to admit, I never laughed so hard before at a "drama".This is what Stephen Baldwin is reduced too? Even the reality shows seem good compared to this.
... View MoreYes, I gave this a 10, which is deserves...if you can stand to sit through the first hour of it and wait for the castle storming sequence - which is so abysmally, horrendously horrible it is HYSTERICALLY FUNNY!!! At first, it was so bad I wanted to cut out my heart with a spoon, (because it would hurt more, you twit!), The harpies are about as scary as I am when I wake up in the morning (admittedly that can be pretty bad some days, but...) and the dialog is asinine. Balwin is ridiculous (big shock there), but I was eventually rewarded for my masochism about 45 minutes into the SCI-FI broadcast with the "Storming the Castle Sequence".This sequence is so funny it had me and my husband howling with laughter. My favorite is building the trebuchet overnight - out of plywood, which they make no effort to disguise - and then watching this plywood contraption BOUNCE upon launch. The music varies during this sequence from actually being good to being a ludicrous heart beat in the background.Then there's the bit where Baldwin's character hides the all-powerful amulet in his mouth...Turn this torture of a movie on half an hour after it begins airing; distract yourself for a few minutes, and keep an open mind - and watch for the really, REALLY bad humor. It's not fun/funny like "Army of Darkness," but more along the lines of a "post Joel and the Bots (Mystery Science Theatre 3000) do-over - if you can subject yourself to the first hour!!
... View MoreSincerely hoping they all had a good time making this awful flick to ensure that at least there was some fun had here...certainly wasn't much fun to be had on the receiving end.Based on a few posts, I was hoping against all odds (Sci-Fi Channel original, Stephen Baldwin starring) that this would be an entertaining diversion, whether it be a tongue-in-cheek endeavor or a somehow otherwise funny or exciting venture; but unfortunately, this was nothing more than a terrible film. Can we fine the actors for this? That would be fun, and I would be content with the results. Better yet however would be to Star-Chamber the producers.This film is embarrassingly terrible and I despise the fact that Stephen Baldwin lives a better life than most of us.
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