Forgive and Forget
Forgive and Forget
| 12 June 2000 (USA)
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David O'Neil, a plasterer and mature student Theo have been best mates for fourteen years and are practically inseparable. However, their friendship has become strained as Theo is about to move in with his long-term girlfriend, photographer Hannah. A raging jealousy awakes in David and he starts scheming to break up the loving couple using Hannah's insecurities against them. When the couple eventually separate David is in a quandary about his next move and is forced to confront his long-hidden homosexuality and feelings towards Theo. Eventually, David decides to reveal his sexual orientation and deep love for Theo very publicly by arranging for them both to appear as guests on Judith Adams' talk-show, "forgive and forget", with tragic consequences for their friendship and David's family.

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Reviews
gradyharp

FORGIVE AND FORGET was originally written by Mark Burt and directed by Aisling Walsh as a TV movie aimed at a straight audience in the UK. That fact is important to remember as it makes this excellent film more credible to the audience that is finding it negative. The world at large remains homophobic as is evident not only in the US with all the measures before the voting public about gay rights, but also with the unrelenting gay bashing around the world in virtually every country. FORGIVE AND FORGET attempts to defuse some of that irrational behavior, yet sadly it only succeeds on some levels: some are still either incredulous that this story could happen and end the way it does while others quietly nod in recognition of a an atmosphere that remains essentially unchanged with the apparent passage of time's enlightenment.Working class plasterer David (Steve John Shepherd) and perennial student Theo (John Simm) have been best friends (mates) for fourteen years, David the larger of the two being Theo's protector and defender. They are devoted to each other in the best sense of the word. Theo begins seeing artist Hannah (Laura Fraser) who is still recovering from a broken relationship with an unfaithful guy. As the couple's relationship intensifies, David sees his mate moving away from him emotionally, a fact that is made more difficult due to the fact that David is a closeted gay man, still living with his virulently homophobic parents, and in truth is deeply in love with Theo. Theo tries to bring David into his new life with Hannah, but David resists, begins having meaningless sexual encounters in Soho, and gradually finds ways to weaken Theo and Hannah's new relationship by playing on Hannah's insecurities. David's attempts at finding time together with Theo result in weakening Hannah's trust and she leaves Theo. As the truths of David's desperate attempts to retain Theo to himself become apparent, Theo questions David's motives. David, unable to talk with anyone, opts for going on a popular UK confessional TV show ('Forgive and Forget') where he admits he is gay and declares his love for Theo, a public announcement that results not only in David's being disowned by his parents but also in being beaten bloody by Theo, a sad dénouement stopped only by Hannah's intrusion during the beating. The only positive aspect of David's public confessional is that at last he is free of the lie he has been living, and though he has seemingly lost everything, he at last has some peace of mind - a tragically confessed happiest day of his life.The cast is homogenously excellent, but the quality of acting by the exceedingly handsome and charismatic Steve John Shepherd and by John Simm and Laura Fraser is exceptional. Whether the audience is deeply disturbed by this film or closely aligns with its message, the film as an artwork cannot be faulted. It is a brave little movie that dares to hold a mirror up to the audience, hopefully enlightening at least a few as to the perpetuated homophobia that maligns the lives of many citizens. Recommended viewing. Grady Harp

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B24

Although I rate the directing and acting high, this is ultimately a detestable story, full of logical holes and homophobic animosity. To take a heroic character of basically good intentions and essentially destroy him because of flawed judgment is worthy only when the writer redeems the character in some revelatory denouement. In this case, that never comes.(SPOILER ALERT)First, we are treated to a guy who could be the envy of any woman's or man's eye -- a decent, hard-working, fundamentally ethical young man who carries a big secret behind the facade of machismo. That secret -- the tragic flaw, if you will -- is that he is in love with his best buddy (or "mate" in the parlance of the U.K.). Although he tries to find appropriate ways to deal with his emotions, he falls into the trap of bending the truth more than once in an effort to break up his buddy's relationship with an unstable but attractive woman. The result is inevitable: he loses the friend and almost loses his life. End of story. Crude homophobic jokes, gay stereotypes, and fag bashing thrive. What could have been a nice twist in this made-for-TV play involves the cathartic "outing" of the main character, David (splendidly played by Steve John Shepherd) on a TV talk show much like the old Jenny Jones show. This is an obvious ripoff of the infamous case in the U.S. where a young man did indeed lose his life a few years ago. Instead of allowing David to reveal the complex entirety of his subterfuge, however, he is made out to be a complete fool, which sets up in turn the ineffectual, gratuitous, and needlessly violent ending. How David's Greek God could fall for a heterosexual nebbish like Theo (played well by John Simm) with almost no redeeming qualities really begs the question. Theo's girlfriend is similarly two-dimensional, Only by some ironic aspect that the audience is never made privy to can there be any sense in this. Likewise, nearly all of the supporting cast consists of stock characters and blatant stereotypes, like the angry Dad and the swishy design consultant supervising David on the job.But the directing and editing values are good for a TV production. My only complaint is that it could have been so much better. Give this one a high mark for technique and a pass at the same time.

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mjmarkic

Forgive and Forget, is a rather well done film exploring the relationship between a straight man and his closeted gay "best mate" who's been in love with him secretly for many years. Some viewers thought the film was slow and biased from a heterosexual point of view.I feel the film portrayed the anguish of closeted, David, extremely well. The difficulties of accepting one's differences were clearly and painfully drawn, with an outstanding performance by the handsome lead. Personally, I could identify with his inner conflicts in making an extremely difficult decision. David appeared to be the ideal picture of straight, handsome male that fit in well with accepted straight images he was raised with. He knew differently.The so-called, stereotypical, reaction by the gay man's parents is very easy to believe, since many gay children are still rejected by their parents, in our "enlightened" world.The crude sexual talk and "fag" camaraderie amongst his "straight" coworkers was typical of the heterosexist viewpoint. In contrast, it's extremely interesting that the "straightest" of these coworkers displayed a lot of skin, (always in shorts, open vests, muscular chest display, shirtless with pierced nipples), to show what a man he was? He would have been right at home in a great many gay clubs or pride festivals.Comments found in one review that the "Forgive and Forget" hostess' reaction of how brave David was; was an indication of pity and shame that he was gay. The real world is still not politically correct. Coming out isn't an easy step, and some individuals, never do so, due to lack of courage. I felt her reaction was simple and honest, not condescending, in her limited position as interviewer.Theo's female love, Hannah obviously has some real problems... She was dumped before and hurts...! Well, she's rather selfish, self centered and possessive and wants David out of the picture. Is it any wonder he'd fight back? I lost sympathy for her, I felt for Theo who seemed to really care, and really wasn't aware of Hannah's real nature (Blinded by Love).Mixed feeling arise with the ending of the film. At first, I HATED IT. Then upon review, perhaps it was too real and I wanted a different ending. Was the bashing and almost murder by Theo really necessary? All sympathy for him is lost here. And the convenient rescue, (prevention of Murder by Hannah?), was too patently heterosexist. Hanna saves her man, gets what she wants, and the fag gets his just deserts for lusting after a straight man? Isn't this reality in some cases...? (Even California's liberalness couldn't prevent several recent severe bashings and a couple of murders.)The closing shot of David wants us to believe that David is happy with his decision and, all will be well. Nice sentiments but too quick and easy after what's just been portrayed...?? Rent this film and decide for yourself...

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Jon Ward

Don't expect to feel comfortable or be warmed by a Hollywood ending.Do expect a well-acted fable about the dangers of falling in love with your best friend and how pursuing that love and destroy your friendship. 'How do you tell someone you love them?' 'Just tell them and hope they believe you.' The added closet homosexual existence of one of the friends, and relationship with his family, makes matters more complex.You are pretty much left to make your own conclusions from the ending. I will be watching this movie again.Also there are some novel south of the Thames (London) locations.

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