Forgive and Forget
Forgive and Forget
| 12 June 2000 (USA)
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David O'Neil, a plasterer and mature student Theo have been best mates for fourteen years and are practically inseparable. However, their friendship has become strained as Theo is about to move in with his long-term girlfriend, photographer Hannah. A raging jealousy awakes in David and he starts scheming to break up the loving couple using Hannah's insecurities against them. When the couple eventually separate David is in a quandary about his next move and is forced to confront his long-hidden homosexuality and feelings towards Theo. Eventually, David decides to reveal his sexual orientation and deep love for Theo very publicly by arranging for them both to appear as guests on Judith Adams' talk-show, "forgive and forget", with tragic consequences for their friendship and David's family.

Reviews
yawnmower1

This is surely one of the nastiest, most misleading, films ever made.The only redeeming factor is handsome John Shepherd who plays David, a very closeted London construction worker. Secretly in love with his life-long mate Theo, David's covert problems escalate when Theo announces he is moving in with his girlfriend. Unable to share Theo's time and attention, David will do anything to undermine the couple's relationship.David, with a misguided fantasy of 'sharing', gets the bright idea to come out of the closet on a talk show. An unwitting Theo joins him and is utterly embarrassed when he is told, in front of a national audience, that David is in love with him.That the plan backfires goes without saying, and the pretense of light comedy ends abruptly. David's ghastly father pronounces him sick and summarily tosses him out of the house. Theo hates him and, to show him just how much, beats David senseless with a lead pipe. I kid you not.It seems that Theo and his girlfriend are a perfect match after all: they are equally smug and hateful. Looking back with pity and loathing at the wretched, bleeding David, they walk off into the sunset together. A perfect ending for a mean-spirited film that gay-friendly TLA should be ashamed to have produced.

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graham clarke

With the amount of gay writers, directors and actors (openly out or not), it's remarkable that there exists something of a dearth of really high quality gay themed movies. While it may be too much to expect Hollywood to come to the fore, the independents too have been surprisingly poor in this area. European cinema has dealt with gay issues in a far more successful manner. Faced with this situation, gay movies are often over praised simply because they've been made rather than for their intrinsic qualities. "Sunday Bloody Sunday" made over 30 years still overshadows just about any other gay themed movie made since then.While "Forgive and Forget" certainly does have much going for it, it remains not entirely successful. What it suffers from is a certain pandering simplicity that has been so rampant in British movies for too long; the worst of these (despite their commercial success being "Billy Elliot" and "Full Monty"). "Forgive and Forget" has scenes which teeter on the brink of this ultimately insulting approach of the depiction of complex emotional states. (In all fairness I should mention the winning coming out drama "Get Real" as an outstanding exception.) What saves the film and really what makes it a worthwhile experience are the two central performances by Steve John Sheppard and John Simm. Both give fully convincing, committed portrayals, despite dialog which is at times less than credible. The force of their acting compels one empathize with predicament of these characters.Despite the flaws, "Forgive and Forget" is a memorable movie , well worth making the effort to seek out.

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baker-9

"Forgive and Forget" will certainly generate mixed feelings. The central character of David, a closeted working class guy who's desperately in love with his best pal Theo, is interesting in that David becomes the equivalent of a jealous lover when Theo gets increasingly serious about his new GF Hanna (who's not so different from David in some respects). A jealous lover who has to conceal his feelings, which leads David to some actions that are less than sympathetic. While the film tries to show how David is suffering, the script and the lead actor rarely succeed is making David both wrong-headed but sympathetic. He glowers so much and is so clammed up emotionally that he almost becomes a villain. Theo really is the most sympathetic character in the film, a man victimized by his unreasonable GF and betrayed by his best friend.(Spoiler alert): The penultimate scene on a TV show called "Forgive and Forget" is unbelievable to me. Even given David's need to tell Theo how he feels, it's hard to believe that someone as closeted as David would come out in such a public, spectacular way. The writer and director don't build David's character in a way where such a gesture seems inevitable. And the film never thinks to explore why the TV show would cooperate with such a surprise admission.The ending has upset viewers - frankly, I didn't believe Theo to be the type to engage in such brutal behavior. And the Hanna's sudden appearance to stop Theo from inflicting further damage to David made no sense at all, given that she and Theo had already broken up. Given David's actions it's easy to interpret the beating as David getting what he deserved for betraying his pal...and for daring to fall in love with a straight man and humiliate him by declaring that to him on TV. I can certainly imagine many hetero men readily taking that away from the film, especially as we see Theo and Hanna walking away hand-in-hand leaving David laying on the floor to fend for himself - not even asking if he's OK. As for the last shot of David, who can say what it means? He's learning how to move on? He's still in a dream world?Anyone familiar with the gay-related murder that resulted from a similar occurrence on the Jenny Jones Show will wonder just what the filmmakers intended here. I understand that the writer of this film makes special mention that he's straight, so you never know.

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mjmarkic

Forgive and Forget, is a rather well done film exploring the relationship between a straight man and his closeted gay "best mate" who's been in love with him secretly for many years. Some viewers thought the film was slow and biased from a heterosexual point of view.I feel the film portrayed the anguish of closeted, David, extremely well. The difficulties of accepting one's differences were clearly and painfully drawn, with an outstanding performance by the handsome lead. Personally, I could identify with his inner conflicts in making an extremely difficult decision. David appeared to be the ideal picture of straight, handsome male that fit in well with accepted straight images he was raised with. He knew differently.The so-called, stereotypical, reaction by the gay man's parents is very easy to believe, since many gay children are still rejected by their parents, in our "enlightened" world.The crude sexual talk and "fag" camaraderie amongst his "straight" coworkers was typical of the heterosexist viewpoint. In contrast, it's extremely interesting that the "straightest" of these coworkers displayed a lot of skin, (always in shorts, open vests, muscular chest display, shirtless with pierced nipples), to show what a man he was? He would have been right at home in a great many gay clubs or pride festivals.Comments found in one review that the "Forgive and Forget" hostess' reaction of how brave David was; was an indication of pity and shame that he was gay. The real world is still not politically correct. Coming out isn't an easy step, and some individuals, never do so, due to lack of courage. I felt her reaction was simple and honest, not condescending, in her limited position as interviewer.Theo's female love, Hannah obviously has some real problems... She was dumped before and hurts...! Well, she's rather selfish, self centered and possessive and wants David out of the picture. Is it any wonder he'd fight back? I lost sympathy for her, I felt for Theo who seemed to really care, and really wasn't aware of Hannah's real nature (Blinded by Love).Mixed feeling arise with the ending of the film. At first, I HATED IT. Then upon review, perhaps it was too real and I wanted a different ending. Was the bashing and almost murder by Theo really necessary? All sympathy for him is lost here. And the convenient rescue, (prevention of Murder by Hannah?), was too patently heterosexist. Hanna saves her man, gets what she wants, and the fag gets his just deserts for lusting after a straight man? Isn't this reality in some cases...? (Even California's liberalness couldn't prevent several recent severe bashings and a couple of murders.)The closing shot of David wants us to believe that David is happy with his decision and, all will be well. Nice sentiments but too quick and easy after what's just been portrayed...?? Rent this film and decide for yourself...

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