Doug McClure was Trampas on The Virginian. This was the highlight of his career. He played a reckless pretty boy. Well, what do you know. He is doing it here again. Except for the fact that this film has no foundation and is about as dull as a movie can be. It's a series of desert races that go nowhere, build no suspense, and when over, don't matter at all. Apparently, there is a gas shortage, but these guys are able to burn gas. When I saw Waterworld, I wondered what the end game was. At least they sort of had one. Nothing doing here.

This movie is included in a documentary "The Worst 50 Movies Ever Made". A synopsis of it is: The 50 Worst Movies Ever Made is a documentary that "celebrates" the kind of cinematic schlock that helped keep Mystery Science Theater 3000 on the air for many seasons. The film consists primarily of clips from some of the films widely considered to be the worst of the worst. ~ Perry Seibert, All Movie Guide A clip from "Firebird 2015 AD" is included with Darren McGavin looking visibly embarrassed saying "Yes, a Burner. I'm a BURNER." 'nuf said.

A severe gas shortage in the near future forces the government to ban the use of automobiles altogether and make the act of driving one a punishable capitol offense. However, a feisty pocket of rebellious gear-jamming metalhead race car enthusiasts called "burners" obstinately refuse to knuckle under Uncle Sam's oppressive reign, hording what little precious gas is left and happily tearin' their souped-up cars across the desolate desert terrain. Crusty ace driver Red (the always exuberant Darren McGavin, carrying on with greater flair and verve than the sub-par material deserves) and rascally fellow old-timer Indie (the solid George Touliatos) are two such guys, whooping it up as they constantly elude getting nabbed by a band of hard-nosed police officers who are very eager to nail their annoyingly evasive hides.While the premise -- basically a science fiction version of a Burt Reynolds-style good ol' boy outrunning the pigs car chase romp -- has promise, it's fatally ruined by David M. Robertson's limp'n'lifeless (non)direction and a paltry, insufficiently thought-out bare-bones script. Moreover, the futuristic setting is depicted with a critical lack of conviction: there are no special effects to speak of, the cars look plain and antiquated, and the spartan costume designs are simply pathetic. Worse yet, the fuzzball baddies led by a sleepwalking Doug McClure are hopelessly colorless and nonthreatening; only a murderously crazed Native American nutcase trooper (outrageously overplayed by Alex Diakun) radiates any necessary sense of genuine menace. The redneck protagonists are equally insipid and unprepossessing; the picture's already slack pace screeches to a dead halt during the excruciatingly blah romantic courtship scenes between Red's wimpy estranged son Cameron (the gratingly whiny Robert Charles Wisden) and Indie's fiery foxy daughter Jill (vivaciously essayed by cute brunette hottie Mary Beth Rubens). But the movie's grossest, most egregious and unforgivable blunders have got to be the copious, but poorly staged and thus unexciting car race sequences and a gruelingly tedious surplus of hideously banal dialogue (sample line: "Keep your pedal down and your sunny side up"). So, despite some good acting and nice photography, this worthless rusty clunker overall sadly remains in teeth-gnashing neutral from the dreary start right on down to the spiritless finish.

I really hate sci-fi movies that are supposed to go where no one has gone before--to coin a phrase--but this one's still waiting for clearance to take off from the launching pad. And it never does take off.Oh, I guess it DOES take off, in a way, because it's about cars, or rather, as the intro shows, the president of the United States has shut down all the gas pumps in the land (and the bland music playing is a clue as to how the movie's going to be). And you thought it was bad when your car is being repaired for just a day!Of course, some idiots drive their vehicles anyway, known as "burners", which is what the filmmakers should have done with this movie. But instead of doing something useful with their cars--like maybe running over the person who wrote this garbage--all they do is race each other, and then complain how they don't get any "freedom", yet they're treating their autos even worse than The Dukes of Hazzard ever did. (And this is where the sci-fi premise ends, losing it's promise of being a cross between The Road Warrior and the tv movie The Day After, as it sounded in the Tv Guide description when I saw it.)**** POSSIBLE SPOILERS, but chances are you'll never see this movie anyway, or you SHOULDN'T, so why should you care? ****Just when you thought the most nerve-wracking thing in the world is having a cop follow you, the law here, known as the DVC, shoot at the burners, and yet they never hit anyone. Oh wait, in one scene they DID shatter someone's windshield, but then in the next second the windshield had only one bullet hole in it. Duh.This is one of the several dumb parts in the movie--not to mention the dialog--and the fact that the scenery never changes, EVER. At least in something like Psycho, the house is cool, but after seeing desert for even twenty minutes is enough to drive anyone crazy. Oh, I'm sorry, that's a bad pun ("DRIVE anyone crazy"), but at least that pun is better than the film, except for the car mechanic Jill, who's real cute.Another dumb part is when the DVC is shooting at one person, but he keeps on driving around in circles, and then he has the nerve to get on his cb for help, saying "these guys are crazy!" But YOU'RE the one who's driving in circles, making yourself easier to shoot at! Oh wait, there IS a difference between "crazy" and then being just downright "stupid".So, is there ANYTHING cool at all with this blah film, besides it ending eventually? Yes: the owner of the firebird stores it in a pretty neat barn that opens up, sort of like the Batcave. However, this detracted from the movie too, because during the ho-hum race scenes, I kept on expecting Batman himself to drive by, flipping everyone the finger."We have ourselves a legal weapon" is a really inspiring line, which I hope, after reading this, inspires you to go rent one of the Lethal Weapon movies instead, which are a million times better than this (probably, which I haven't seen them all, but I doubt I'm wrong). Trust me.The cars aren't even much to look at, either, so go for a drive instead and/or test watch something better. (In other words, don't be a "burner".)