"Double Agent 73" is an amateurish and inept movie, yet there is an honesty about its amateurishness and ineptness: you get the feeling that the people involved didn't want to cheat you, they really did try to make an espionage / action movie, they just lacked the talent and budget required. Sure, you could complain all day long about the pointlessly long shots of, say, horse-racing, or the sped-up "car chase", or the lack of logic in the story, but you also have to give credit to the film's creativity: it's not every day you can see a punch with the breast replacing the fist, or death via ice cubes stuffed into the victim's mouth! Chesty Morgan gives a somewhat catatonic performance (she's no worse than anyone else in the cast, mind you), and there can be little argument that her breasts are unerotic (bigger is not always better), however she does have a pretty face and nice legs. (*1/2)

Doris Wishman followed up the immensely successful Deadly Weapons with this all-you-can-eat lunatic buffet. Ivan Toplar and his gang are flooding the market with bad smack. Who is the only secret agent with the stuff to bring down these slimebags? Burlesque grotesque Chesty Morgan, the girl who makes Candy Samples look like an ironing board! As Jane Genet, Agent 73, Chesty has her vacation at the nudist camp (!)--dig the hilarious cuts between literary-minded Chesty and a puppy--interrupted by this little assignment. So she puts on her red-and-black rhinestone-studded platforms and hits the streets, eliminating the bad guys and taking photos with a tiny spy camera (complete with flash) implanted in her humongous left breast. The deaths are violent, and the victim's last sights are shaky, blurred shots of Chesty's mountainous mammaries. What a way to go.This violent, uproariously crazed excuse for Chesty to unsnap her bra and maul those monsters (FLASH-CLICK!) is like Deadly Weapons ratcheted to new heights of inanity (if such a thing could be possible). Who better to carry out a top-secret mission than the most conspicuous person in the world? And if her physical appearance weren't eliciting enough looks, the peroxide-wigged Miss Morgan's wardrobe is even frillier and sillier than before--the prime offender being a white-on-red polka-dotted number straight from Clarabelle's closet. Chesty's dubbed voice has a slightly harder edge this time around, but her acting has, thankfully, not improved. Her face is expressionless for ninety percent of the running time; occasionally she smiles, as if being ordered to at gunpoint, and Band-Aid removal brings a grimace of vague bewilderment that must be seen to be disbelieved. Though the dialogue is mostly in sync, Doris Wishman still indulges in her trademark cut-aways and obsessive close-ups of feet (giving us great views of the star's endless arsenal of platforms and spike heels). Then, in an unexpected "poetic" shot, backlit Chesty holds her ruffled robe aloft and whirls for no discernible reason. And of course, the car chase, where Chesty and her pursuer drive the legal limit as the film is sped up.A third Chesty epic was planned but never made, since Wishman found the star unbearably difficult to work with. Even more unfortunate is the fact that, after working with Fellini, the Polish sight gag--I mean, STAR--never made another film, and has since completely disappeared (how could she hide?). Some say that Chesty (Lillian) is now living in Florida, but...who knows? O Chesty, where art thou?

Chesty Morgan will always hold a place in my heart, despite the fact that she can't act for crap and has the grossest set of breasts I've ever seen. I loved "Deadly Weapons" for all the wrong reasons and the "sequel" of sorts, "Double Agent 73" fares with me the same way.Chesty plays a spy named Jane (?) who must rub out a villain and his henchmen. We never do find out what this villain does (drugs? slave trade? 70s clothes designer?), but his henchmen are some of the stupidest dolts to ever grace the screen. Chesty is in fine form, an even worse actress than before and her breasts have attained more scars, scales, and veins! There are more closeups of her breasts, which is just nauseating, and one of the poor villains has to suck on them! EEEEUUUWWW!Chesty uses more interesting methods of dispatchment than before. Instead of just drugging the villains and smothering them with her breasts, she knocks men out with them, puts poison on them so the villains can suck on them (ugh!), strangles with telephone cord, mauls with broken bottle grounds, etc. And Chesty's best acting is when she's violently offing her targets! "Double Agent 73" is a lot of fun to watch, but it does hit boring spots. Anytime that Chesty isn't on screen, things slow down. More things to watch for: Chesty gets more dialogue when she's turned away from the camera than when she's facing it; Chesty's supposedly painful expression when she rips a bandage off her breast; more of Chesty looking at director Doris Wishman and into the camera; great scenes of Chesty snapping pictures of spies with a camera in her left breast (!); and the hilarious notion that the head of a spy syndicate would go out of his way to get Chesty, his "master spy", on a case! Check out this movie, it is of equal interest as "Deadly Weapons" and possibly moreso!

Expect to be entertained by the ridiculous story, bad acting and HORRENDOUS costumes. Chesty gets caught in a web of intrigue and spy-jinks that require her to put her giant assets to work fighting crime. This movie will be enjoyed to its full extent by getting a group of your craziest friends together to laugh and give a running commentary on it.