"Destroyer" is a mildly entertaining, routinely written B horror picture that's not without its pleasures. As it opens, a serial murderer named Ivan Moser (football great Lyle Alzado) is about to be executed for his crimes. However, just as he's being electrocuted, a prison riot erupts, resulting in the deaths of several guards and many inmates (not that we ever get to see this). Since Mosers' body is never found, he becomes a legend, and 18 months later the filmmakers behind an exploitation picture are using his old prison as a shooting location. Malone (the always lovely and always adorable Deborah Foreman) is a stuntwoman on the show, who's involved with screenwriter Harris (Clayton Rohner), and Robert Edwards (Anthony Perkins) is the sarcastic director of this movie-within-the-movie. Wouldn't you know it: people start getting killed in brutal ways.The only real inspired touch lies in the casting of massive NFL lineman Alzado, and it does look like he's having a good time playing a psycho. "Destroyer" only really comes to life when he's on screen, and some viewers may feel that he isn't on screen enough. Of course, Foreman (re-united with Rohner after 1986s' "April Fools' Day") is always great value, as is Perkins, who is able to play his part with a decent amount of wit. Other than our four principals, the supporting cast is comprised of mostly nondescript no-names. Some of you out there might be amused by comedy relief character "Rewire" (actor / writer Jim Turner, 'Arli$$'), but this viewer simply found him annoying. At the very least, this movie has just enough action, just enough gore, and just enough atmosphere to make it reasonable but forgettable entertainment. Alzado, Foreman, and Perkins boost the rating by a point.Six out of 10.

Ivan Moser (Alzado) is an evil rapist/murderer who is in prison and about to receive the death penalty by electric chair. The authorities start the proceedings, but then a prison riot breaks out, diverting their attention. They assumed they fried Moser...but they were wrong! Meanwhile, a movie company begins shooting a film in the abandoned prison where Moser was. Seems like a smart idea. The movie is called "Death House Dolls" and is a women-in-prison flick. Edwards (Perkins) is the forever-frustrated director, and David Harris (Rohner) is the screenwriter and ideal 80's coolguy. His girlfriend Susan Malone (Foreman) is also working on the film. Harris wants to capture the utter realism of the prison experience, despite the fact that he's working on what seems to be a lightweight exploitation film, so he ends up butting heads with Warden Karsh (Mahoney) who was there on the night of the riot. But Harris also ends up getting some good info from local chef Fingers (Kristin). Will Moser, who has been presumably living at the prison for the past 18 months, we know not how or why, end up killing everyone in sight? When we saw the VHS box cover for Destroyer, with a hulking, oiled-up Alzado brandishing a giant drill of some sort, we thought "how can we lose?" - maybe it's our frame of mind, or maybe it's due to lack of research on our part, but we thought Destroyer was an action movie. Hopefully one where Alzado "Destroys" the baddies. Not such a bad assumption, but an incorrect one. Destroyer instead is a dreary, inane slasher with problems as seemingly endless as the vast corridors a lot of the movie takes place in. What the movie has going for it are its individual characters. Alzado was great as the psycho killer who's usually shirtless, Jim Turner is noteworthy as the techie on the film named Rewire, and David Kristin steals the movie as Fingers. The warden, the janitor Russell (Anderson), the young couple portrayed by Rohner and Foreman - who previously were together in April Fool's Day (1986) - a far more entertaining horror film - together, pretty much any of the individual personages were good, it's just that the writing and structure of the movie were slow, bleak, and not up to par. And nothing is worse than when they try to be funny. We blame the writers and director, not the actors.The movie also falls into the typical trap of making the warden supposedly unlikable because he's an authority figure, but the screenwriter dude supposedly sympathetic because he's so cool and the warden's not. Rohner, who has kind of a Johnny Depp meets Charlie Sheen kind of vibe, does indeed have awesome hair (there's even a fairly substantial scene where he's washing his hair) - but we were rooting for the warden. There's also a pretty surprising lack of Alzado - like a lot of movie monsters, you don't see a lot of him until the end of the movie. There should have been less Anthony Perkins directing the movie-within-a-movie and more Alzado on a rampage. While Deborah Foreman never looked closer to Belinda Carlisle than she does here, Alzado was never closer to John Matuszak than he is here. They have similar builds and facial hair. Maybe it's a football thing.As for the boxcover that so entranced us, it can proudly go into the "we pasted the main star's head on someone else's body and hoped no one would notice" file. As for the movie itself, it's not action, and it's not very horrifying. The individual characters are good, and there maybe a few decent lines here and there, but it's unlikely too many people will come away very satisfied from Destroyer.

Yeah i love this movie, lots of people will say its terrible but those are also the same people who try to take this movie seriously which you can not. Its funny as hell, now was it meant to be funny? Yes and no i think, i am thinking they were looking for some laughs but not nearly as many as you will get from watching it. My favorite part is where Lyle is dressed as a cop or security guard, something along those lines and this guy comes up to him and asks him about the outfit and Lyle says "its a disguise" and the guy says "disguise from what?" and Lyle says "From You!!" and i think thats the part where this real big jackhammer comes out. Real funny stuff there, also there was a cool part with Anthony Perkins in the electric chair trying to get out before the current cameup to get him. Great stuff, now if only i could find this somewhere to buy since its getting very hard to find now.

I thought this movie might be like Shocker or some of the other "electrocuted serial killer comes back to life more dangerous than ever" kind of horror movies, but that's not quite what it was. The "Destroyer", though I don't believe he was ever called that, is electrocuted, and he does seem to come back to life, but since the opening scenes aren't necessarily accurate, what really happened isn't ever clear.What is definite is that sometime after his execution or attempted execution, a film crew directed by Anthony Perkins' character is shooting a women-in-prison type film. Unfortunately for him, there's a killer or killers on the loose. The killer is not a big jackhammer fan as the cover suggests. One is used, though it has a much smaller tip and no scope on it. At least one person is killed with a welding torch of some kind, and there are other sorts of deaths, none particularly memorable or graphic.The movie starts off OK, but it rapidly become boring to me. The special effects guy "Rewire" sounds like the 1980s MTV character "Randee of the Redwoods" and as it turns out, it was him. There's several scenes where characters go into the basement of the prison, and inexplicably it is full of flashing yellow roadblock lights. The explanation is that the prisoners used to make them - OK, why weren't they removed from the prison after it closed and sold? Why are they all on? Just to make the scene more colorful?Perkins has a few marginally funny lines, and he does a good job in his small part.I can't recommend this movie at all.