This is a true brutal horror film, no fancy pants story that is garnished with stylistic CGI gore effects but a full-on splatter fest. The story centres around a Woman (Martina Ittenbach) who is in the process of breaking up with her dead beat husband. A divorce, or a DARD divorce yeah! She is seeing lawyers to gain custody of their two young kids but at the same time she wants to give the husband maybe a last shot of redemption. The first twenty minutes is just your set-up and character development as per usual, but after this the fun really starts. The gore in this movie is extreme to say the least, we are treated with severe torture, beatings, bloody and violent shoot outs, dismemberment and some really cheesy dialogue. Look I will admit this is no Goodfellas when it comes to acting, it doesn't pretend to be either. Martina Ittenbach does an okay job in my opinion and quite frankly I was really pulling for her during some oh her ordeals in this movie. Olaf Ittenbach is one of my favourite directors, a man who is a master with special effects that are both realistic and disgusting. The only drawback I will admit is the idiotic sound engineer who cranked up the music towards the end, drowning out important dialogue. If you are a fan of brutal horror and don't mind a cheesy yet fun story check out Dard Divorce, it is perfect for drunken horror nights or for freaking out your parents.

My this is bad. So bad. Really I think some of these directors who make this kind of garbage need to go and watch a few movies to get a sense of how a film should be. It honestly looks as if this guy Olaf has never seen a decent movie in his life Maybe he thought it cool to have ten gallons of fake blood a bit of a latex, and to then throw out any old crap and call it horror, but he's sadly mistaken. Dard Divorce is one of the most amateurish pieces of wasted celluloid I've ever seen, with the word dard apparently meaning pain. Well it truly was a pain to watch this nonsense and I laughed out loud when the word first appears with a policeman saying they'll have to send it to the lab to find out what it means. Yes, it's really that good. The leading "actress" here should go back to working at a fast food joint or something because I hope I never have to suffer her on my screen again. A low budget movie does not have to mean low quality acting. That's been proved many times in this genre. Horror fans are much more forgiving however when it comes to acting if there's some decent pay off in the end, Dard Divorce unfortunately didn't have any though. I can at least say I got to the end of this tripe which I surely want a medal for. There's far too many idiots out there with a camera now thinking buckets of blood makes a good horror film. But what makes a good film is great acting and a bit of intelligence. At the end of the movie they couldn't even spell the name of the dead dog correctly on it's cross at the grave. Spelling Bonny (maybe Bonnie) as Bony lol. What a bloody mess indeed. Goodbye Dard Divorce forever.

This is the first time I have ever written a review on IMDb. The utter shambles that was Dard Divorce compelled me to do it. OK, firstly, the main 'actress' was perhaps the worst i've ever seen - can barely speak English, every word delivered in monotone and with absolutely no breadth of expression. They'd have done a better job with a sex-doll. In fact, pretty much every 'actor' and 'actress' were beyond bad, as though they'd all been drugged, or just picked up off the street. I can't really remember a single piece of dialogue that didn't sound stilted or contrived. As for the storyline, there really wasn't much of one - some drunk/lawyer girl (supposedly the director's wife) is going through a messy divorce. Her husband takes the kids away for a weekend, then stumbles in later and supposedly dies in front of her - cue numerous unnecessary gangster/bad guy characters who were completely unbelievable and torture scenes (which really weren't even that shocking)that were poorly filmed and dragged on way too long. I like gore but this was just bad, like something me and my friends might make. Even the unnecessarily long scene with the naked guy chopping up a body in the bath just didn't sit right. I'll not bother explaining what Dard means as it's just a complete non- event - it might as well have been called cabbage divorce or chair divorce for all it mattered. Worst of all was the sound. Not only were the songs the cheesiest shite I've ever heard, but the sound editor must've been on PCP. I've honestly never witnessed such bad sound mixing, particularly in the last scene, where the husband is explaining the plot for the whole film, and all we can see are his lips move whilst listening to some shoddy low-grade European electronica. The one redeeming feature of this movie was that the shots of the golden gate bridge made me think of Tommy Wiseau's The Room. In short - this was atrocious, avoid at all costs. It'll be 87 minutes of your life you'll never get back.

I signed up to IMDb solely so I could write a review on this hideous movie.My friend and I hired this movie because we were in the mood for something gory along the lines of Saw or Hostel.What we got was the most ridiculous steaming turd movie I've ever seen.We should have seen it coming, the director cast his wife who speaks ridiculously broken English as the lead actress. Off to a bad start.It wasn't until I went through and read some other reviews that some of the ridiculous, and pointless scenes in this movie came flooding back to haunt me... The cutting in half of a child from head to toe, the nude man dismembering a carcass that went for about 5 minutes, I seem to remember a man hacking off someone's head with a shovel and then saying something along the lines of "don't lose your head".I even remember some sort of sexual assault of a woman who had been punched in the face by a detective.The worst part about this movie is that my friend forgot to take it back, and as a result we got charged 50 dollars.It's like paying someone 50 dollars and getting them to belt your head against a wall for 90 minutes.Does that sound like a sensible financial decision? No? Neither is paying to watch Dark Divorce.