...look at the box art. If you want to see the second-best part, fast-forward through approximately 99% of the movie, stopping only for the parts where the producer's gold-digging girlfriend is in a bikini or lingerie. The two or three minutes of screen time she takes up dressed like that is essentially the only part of this movie that's watchable. This movie has actually surpassed HOUSE OF THE DEAD on my Top 5 Worst Movies I've Ever Seen list.You hear that, people? This is *worse* than Uwe Boll's HOUSE OF THE DEAD! As far as why--When your movie is theoretically about a cursed zombie pirate, it should actually have a cursed zombie pirate in it! The movie's only ninety minutes long, yet it takes over fifty minutes for the "fearsome pirate" to kill someone. (And if that guy's a fearsome pirate, I'm Julia Roberts.) The characters on the reality show are all obnoxious to a ridiculous extreme, except for two of them. Within 5 minutes of their introduction, you'll know who you want to die, and predictably enough, they do.If you want to enjoy the time spent watching this garbage, turn on the movie and go do something else for 90 minutes. If you insist on actually sitting down in front of the movie, either fall asleep or bring some strong drinks.

Holy Macaronial Crap!!!"BONES OF CRAP"!"CROSSCRAP"!"ARR, ARR, CRAP IN ME PIRATE PANTS"!These all would have been more appropriate titles for the abominable 'movie' that is called CROSSBONES!When looking for 'first time viewings' for the annual Octobre Horror Movie Challenge here on the IMDb horror-board, I had the misfortune of stumbling upon this extremely lame and idiotic crap-fest. And I now officially have my number 1 Worst Horror movie of the New Millennium! And mind you, I never, ever have used the term 'worst horror movie...'. I always carefully used the phrase "One of the worst...".Anyway, after having seen this pirate/horror/reality-TV crap-fest, I immediately added one extra point to the first movie I saw during that month for the Challenge, namely BLOODY PIT OF HORROR (aka IL BOIA SCARLATTO). I don't care if that one's made in the 60's or that it's not comparable in any way with CrapBones. At least I had a lot of fun with BLOODY PIT OF HORROR. Hell, it's even a better movie...In fact, after having seen CrapBones I might as well go back to my reviews and add one extra point to ALL bad & crappy movies I've seen so far. Because none of them was as bad as this one... Well, maybe some... For the ones who know their more recent bad-movie-stuff: SKELETON MAN (that Casper Van Dien crap-fest) is almost Oscar material compared to CRAPBONES. Almost, I said...I will not even dedicate more time to going into full details of this movie (because really, it's not worth it), but here's another 'aka' title:CARIBBEAN CRAP!Hmmm... I wonder if I might have over-used the word "crap" just a little bit in this comment...?**UPDATE** Please forget that "worst horror movie"-statement I made about CROSSBONES. I recently saw DEMON SUMMER and DA HIP HOP WITCH. And, yes, they're even worse. That just shows you can't be sure of anything anymore these days...

I give this movie 2 thumbs down to the biggest pile of sh!t ever created... Unbelievable 2005 movie how sad SAD SaD SAddddddd. then the man turned to the left , but while scratching his balls he twitched to the right just a little bit.... *narrorated* like such throughout the movie like who gives a fiddlers f*&K if you cant see the guys actions in the movie then maybe throw a retard into the scene telling us whats going on... I think i would rather watch anything else even a dog puking over and over and over and over and over with the sounds of dying pigs in the back ground . I hope the people rot in hell for making so many people waste an hour of our life trying to enjoy some half ass sh!t film ........ BLAH DO NOT WATCH THIS BLAH IT IS HORRIBLE BLAH DO NOT WATCH THIS BLAH IT IS HORRIBLE BLAH DO NOT WATCH THIS BLAH .......Producer is a retard.......

This would have to be the most stupidest and badly acted movie I have ever seen it was that bad it wasn't even funny. Words cant explain how bad this was. I sat through all of it waiting for something to happen it never did. I pity the poor buggers that put up there money for this movie It really is the worst movie i have ever seen the boat floating in the lagoon was unbelievable when the pirate rowed across the ocean to escape. look the whole thing was cheap badly acted and basically crap. i cant believe anybody could make a movie that bad what were they thinking how anyone would put up money for this is unbelievable . Id be asking for my money back