Holy Macaronial Crap!!!"BONES OF CRAP"!"CROSSCRAP"!"ARR, ARR, CRAP IN ME PIRATE PANTS"!These all would have been more appropriate titles for the abominable 'movie' that is called CROSSBONES!When looking for 'first time viewings' for the annual Octobre Horror Movie Challenge here on the IMDb horror-board, I had the misfortune of stumbling upon this extremely lame and idiotic crap-fest. And I now officially have my number 1 Worst Horror movie of the New Millennium! And mind you, I never, ever have used the term 'worst horror movie...'. I always carefully used the phrase "One of the worst...".Anyway, after having seen this pirate/horror/reality-TV crap-fest, I immediately added one extra point to the first movie I saw during that month for the Challenge, namely BLOODY PIT OF HORROR (aka IL BOIA SCARLATTO). I don't care if that one's made in the 60's or that it's not comparable in any way with CrapBones. At least I had a lot of fun with BLOODY PIT OF HORROR. Hell, it's even a better movie...In fact, after having seen CrapBones I might as well go back to my reviews and add one extra point to ALL bad & crappy movies I've seen so far. Because none of them was as bad as this one... Well, maybe some... For the ones who know their more recent bad-movie-stuff: SKELETON MAN (that Casper Van Dien crap-fest) is almost Oscar material compared to CRAPBONES. Almost, I said...I will not even dedicate more time to going into full details of this movie (because really, it's not worth it), but here's another 'aka' title:CARIBBEAN CRAP!Hmmm... I wonder if I might have over-used the word "crap" just a little bit in this comment...?**UPDATE** Please forget that "worst horror movie"-statement I made about CROSSBONES. I recently saw DEMON SUMMER and DA HIP HOP WITCH. And, yes, they're even worse. That just shows you can't be sure of anything anymore these days...

I saw this movie it was terrible. I have seen some low budget films I have seen stupid ones but this one takes the cake. I was handed this movie by a friend he said it is terrible he was sorry he bought it and I am giving it to you instead of throwing it away. I wish I had not taken it. It is the worst movie I have ever seen and I have seen a lot. I would recommend this movie as a torture device only and I hope nobody ever has to watch this because I wanted to break the DVD when I was done. The movie starts out and it is a little weird and you think OK it will get better as it goes but no it only gets worse once the reality game show part of the movie starts. The only good part in this movie is the hot girls and even that is not enough to entice me to watch it again. The plot is stupid, the actors are stupid, and the creator of this movie should have been shot on site.

Late last night, I sat down and finally watched CROSSBONES. My family had been at one of the hotels where scenes were actually shot (my kids are mentioned in the "Making of" section of the DVD as they were the "scallywags" who helped bury the treasure -- and my wife and I are actually seen sitting behind the director), and we were amused by the whole production. The folks making the movie didn't take themselves too seriously, and it looked as though they were going to have a decent little grade-C flick.We were absolutely disappointed to fund that we were wrong. MAJOR SPOILERS INCLUDED BELOW----- The movie takes a good twenty minutes to set up the premise (including a ridiculous scene where the pirate rows a modern rowboat from one of the little keys islands to another, only to find a topless woman getting sacrificed by the natives). Then we have a montage of scenes where the characters in this movie spend at least another twenty minutes introducing themselves (ostensibly for the SURVIVOR-style show they're producing). The pirate comes back to life in a mysterious manner (one of the contestants spills blood on a rock, and the pirate suddenly comes out of goodness knows where and sucks his blood like a vampire) and proceeds to whack everyone they've spent all this time introducing in the next twenty minutes. The last twenty minutes of resolution involves going back to Ft. Jefferson and getting the treasure amidst the pirate whacking a few straggling SURVIVOR-types and the producer for a typical "shock" ending that was ambiguous at best. -- END MAJOR SPOILERSThe problem with the film was not the acting (not great, but I've seen worse), not the photography (some of it's pretty good in fact), not the production values (hey, it was shot for a direct-to-DVD film, what'd you expect?). It was without a doubt the writing. If you spend twenty minutes setting up the movie and another twenty minutes introducing the characters, then you've wasted thirty minutes on a needlessly complicated plot and expository character development -- having the characters tell us who they are instead of letting the script SHOW us who they are is just really amateurish writing. I usually can find something positive enough to give a better rating for movies of this type, but not this time. I've got to agree that this is one of the worst movies ever made.

This would have to be the most stupidest and badly acted movie I have ever seen it was that bad it wasn't even funny. Words cant explain how bad this was. I sat through all of it waiting for something to happen it never did. I pity the poor buggers that put up there money for this movie It really is the worst movie i have ever seen the boat floating in the lagoon was unbelievable when the pirate rowed across the ocean to escape. look the whole thing was cheap badly acted and basically crap. i cant believe anybody could make a movie that bad what were they thinking how anyone would put up money for this is unbelievable . Id be asking for my money back