Delightful and funny! There's nothing very original in this comedy but that's what it makes it so pleasant to watch. It's a zombie movie with children and people who are not afraid of them... Teacher deserves indeed all of our respect! It's really great written and directed. There's some length that a great editing makes forget. If you want to have fun, you're in the right place with this movie.

To start with, the movie has great laughs and great gore. I loved all the cheeky bits with the children playing with remains. In fact, if there was one thing I didn't like about this movie, it's the opening credits. Without going too far into detail, we're shown chickens being processed and made into chicken nuggets. And those who know what happens during processing would know how disturbing that is (especially if you're an animal lover like me). I mean, couldn't they just show the already-processed chicken being made into chicken nuggets? As long as you see the one black nugget, then it would probably work fine too. To be honest, the opening credits really took me out of the mood of even seeing the movie (and if I'm being completely honest, the only reason I wanted to watch it was because of Leigh Whannell being in it *he was hilarious*). The opening credits are something a malicious vegan would show to someone if they wanted to make them vegan. It freaked me out so much that I can't go to sleep without my TV on. Anyway, overall, the movie was a good mix of funny and gory, but be sure you can handle seeing chickens being processed.

(No spoilers)Circle, circle, dot dot - now you got the cootie shot! Horror and comedy films are undeniably from completely different worlds, however when handled with care they can complement each other rather well - with 'Shaun of the Dead' and 'Zombieland' making huge success within the zombie sub-genre. This film in particular has a premise that is so outrageous it has to be seen to be believed, causing various body reactions and emotions from the viewer such as utter disgust at the obscene gore factor, eye-rolling or chuckling at the cheesy one-liners and sometimes an occasional yawn when the plot can go off track and lack bite.Cooties, the directorial debut of Cary Murnion and Jonathan Milott, has one of the most disgusting and nauseating opening sequences to a film I've ever seen as the extremely graphic procedure of how a particularly sick looking chicken is plucked from a slaughterhouse, processed into mush and ultimately a chicken nugget, then for an unsuspecting little girl to bite into it. Be warned, you will most probably be looking away from the screen heaving, however it's a title that definitely sets up the film to a strong start and explains the plague origin quickly.With what seems to be Elijah Wood continuing a streak of horror films, he stars in Cooties as Clint, a pretentious would-be novelist who returns home to Fort Chicken (I know, right?) from New York City to take on a much more terrifying role - a substitute teacher at his old school. With the earlier scenes showing the teacher versus student dynamic and adults having feelings of dread towards young people, the threat becomes much more real as the film progresses. The impressive cast and school staff-room of unlikely heroes teaching for the summer also include the incredibly comical alpha male P.E teacher Doug (Rainn Wilson), his positively sweet girlfriend and Clint's old friend Lucy (Allison Pill) and nerdy, zany science teacher Doug (Leigh Whannell, also co-writer). Clint's first day back in the daunting world of education rapidly goes from embarrassing to wild when aforementioned chicken nugget eating girl shockingly retaliates and bites her bullying classmate, triggering a descent into madness as the pandemic turns her pint sized friends into ruthless, bloodthirsty, flesh-eating maniacs.I think in the world of the horror genre today, especially in a zombie film, it is vital to inject something fresh into it and to bring something new to the table. Cooties succeeds in that department right away as the opening set up promises an entire movie about menacing and infected children. Of course, re-animated kids have been shuffling around and frightening audiences on the big screen ever since George A. Romero's 'Night of the Living Dead', however Cooties is taken place in a world where only children are susceptible to the outbreak, in a clever and amusing spin on the imaginary playground legend.The initial idea of setting a zombie film in a elementary school is incredibly ballsy, as it inevitably means that at some point you are going to be shown a bunch of kids being killed, or violently killing others, however the material never really comes across as tasteless, as the film has a outrageous sense of humour filled with slapstick gore that adds relief. The child zombies are delightfully horrific, delivering ghoulish grins and guttural snarls as they are shown in montages of mayhem playing with intestines for jump rope and decapitated heads for ball games, which can be surprisingly downright hilarious in some scenes.The film runs at a brisk and easy 90 minutes long and although it mostly hits all the right notes in the humour and gore departments, the same tired plot of characters trying to make an escape from near death has been played so much, it runs a little thin at times, especially during the middle act. The film is packed with characters that mostly lack any personality development or motivation other than 'survive' and it's only when the final act plays out that things with the other characters start to get interesting. Combined with a regrettable chunk of time spent wallowing in a tedious love triangle between Wood, Wilson and Pill, you may be left feeling frustrated at the tone switching from over the top madness to hurried heartfelt speeches at cut throat speed.If you're looking for a consistent and serious display full of drama and scenes that provoke scares then this definitely won't be The Walking Dead you're looking for, however for a comedy horror it delivers basically everything you could wish for. It may not rank up there with the great films of the zombie sub-genre, but it's a macabre and fun spin that more than works if you're after a silly flick to watch with a few friends.

Wow, this "comedy" was unwatchable almost from the start, but I gutted it out (as it were) for about 40 minutes before turning it off and begging the gods to send ravens to pluck out my eyes so that I'd never have to watch something so execrable again.Yeah, I wasn't impressed.Your almost guaranteed tip-off that a film is going to be creatively lazy and kool-kidz masturbatory media is when it has a "Christian" character is who is a complete caricature or, even more originally, a hypocrite (yuck, yuck, just like all the kool-kidz know they are). This particular piece of cut-and-paste mastery of the "everybody knows" tropes featured the Christian woman teacher as a gun-lovin', rape-fearin', foul-mouthed harridan. Wow, there's a character we've never seen before. Then there were the other sparkling bits o' wit, like the obnoxious, abusive school kid named "Patriot" who was born on September 11 and when he turned 18 is going to become a Marine so he could kick some "towel-head ass." Oh, Noel Coward just wishes he had the faintest hint of the skill of the screenwriter of this vomitous collection of left-wing goodthink clichés about the Un-Kool Kidz.Do not waste your time, and don't even have pity for Elijah Wood, who somehow was convinced to appear in this festering cinematic abomination.