Beautiful, powerful moving and raw. This was a well done, absolutely heartfelt documentary profiling the emotional journey of Shane and Tom, two young men in a loving and committed relationship, who's time together is cut tragically short when Tom is killed in a freak accident after stepping off a roof while taking pictures. For the most part this profiles (almost as a warning Shane's struggle after the accident, as without any legal rights the hospital won't let him view the body and then is left devastated when Tom's family prevent him from having anything to do with or even attending the funeral.I will be thinking about this for a long time, not so much the legal end of things (change is a coming) but the love that Shane lost. I wish him well. 10.13

Interestingly, Bridegroom I think serves as a reminder that the MPAA ratings system is a little challenged these days. When I saw the R rating, I was baffled. I don't really remember there being any profanity, maybe one F-bomb. I find it so bizarre when documentaries are held to the same language standards as narrative features, because often those words are taken from actual events, or interviews. Most documentaries have a very strong learning aspect to them, and to rate a documentary R simply because of a few curse words seems extreme to me.Bridegroom refers to the last name of the subject of the documentary, Tom Bridegroom, a young gay man who tragically fell to his death on May 7th, 2011, leaving behind his partner Shane. This tragedy has already gotten a lot of media attention, mainly due to a 10 minute video that went viral ahead of this documentary being made. People instantly resonated with Shane's story, about not being able to really say goodbye, and being prevented from attending the funeral of his partner. Gay or straight, to already have to lose the most important person in your life, and then have this unnecessary hate compounding on top, is infuriating. I'd imagine Martha Bridegroom and her husband get nasty looks on a daily basis.I think I would have appreciated Bridegroom more had I not seen the 10 minute version prior to this. Honestly, there's a ton of filler regarding Shane's life growing up, and Tom's life growing up. The most interesting part of the story isn't that, it's the details about how Tom's family handled his death, and prevented Shane from being a part of the funeral. While it is nice to hear anecdotal comments about Shane and Tom, and knowing that Shane's family accepted him for who he was, I feel like we skimped on the gut wrenching details of Shane's dangerous journey to Tom's funeral.It's like the director believed we needed the first hour of the film to really believe that Shane and Tom were in love, and that the rest would just fall into place. I needed a better balance, because I realize what their ace in the hole is. The fact is, if Tom had died, and Tom's family let Shane come to the funeral and treated him like a normal human being, we'd never have heard of this story. Shane would have never been a viral hit, and this movie would have never been made. As insensitive as it may seem to say this, we want to see the good stuff.That being said, I think it is still an effective documentary, especially for those who are totally unfamiliar with this story. I think it does a good job of presenting the facts, and establishes Shane as an incredibly likable guy early on. That's important, because this is all his side of the story. The Bridegroom Brood is never on screen with their rebuttal. In fact, I can't even find anything online from them saying that this stuff isn't true.I know that the producers of Bridegroom are hoping for a Best Documentary nomination this year, but I just don't think it'll happen. It'll do fairly well on Netflix, and it will help with the overall cause of marriage equality. It lacks the gravitas needed to compete against a lot of the heavier films that are typically nominated for an Oscar.

Yes, this is a sad story. But it isn't that well done. It's just a series of interviews and video selfies. Part A: The lead up. Part B: The love story. Part C: Loss and those dreary, horrible Hoosiers. Nothing new. Nothing extraordinary. Nothing learnt.I felt very uncomfortable in one respect. These boys sure enjoyed filming themselves to a point where they seemed like exhibitionists. I felt like a voyeur and that they wanted me to be a voyeur. One other reviewer likened this to MTV's "Real World". I agree in the sense that this screams "LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!" This documentary felt like a set-up: Let's get back at the nasty in-laws. They were nasty. They do deserve being told and having the world told what absolute turds they were. But this shouldn't have been the story/documentary in and of itself. It felt like an extended story within a documentary. It could have been told just as effectively and thoroughly in ten minutes. The filmmakers could have incorporated this into a documentary about the need for marriage equality or something.Did I get upset? Yes, but any lesbian or gay man over 15 wouldn't be surprised by any of it and most have experienced worse first- or second-hand. It just isn't compelling enough to be the subject of an entire documentary.Am I glad I saw it? I guess. If it interests you, you probably should watch it. Understand that it does not warrant an average rating of 8.0, which it has in May 2014. One can't watch this and think it's a great documentary after watching any of a number of quality AIDS or PBS documentaries. Trust me, I'm not a tough grader. I just checked my ratings: Out of 183 documentaries seen during my 14 years with an IMDb.com account, I've given 67 a "10". 'Bridegroom' just isn't that good.

I'm old. I'm not young like Tom and Shane. I'm fat and homely; I'm not fit and beautiful like Tom and Shane. I've never been to Egypt or Paris or Machu Picchu or any of the other marvelous places they went together. I've never been in love, never had a serious lover or a husband or a partner or a relationship anything like theirs. I've lived alone all my life.I tend to envy and resent people who have what I don't have; so what surprises more than any of you can know is that I'm not jealous of them, at all. I don't resent their youth or their beauty or their passion or their happiness or the adventures they shared or the delight they had in each other.From my point of view, their story is a beautiful story of REAL love, of a blessed life, a holy life together that very, very, VERY few people ever know - maybe one in a hundred million, if even that many.At my age I tend to see things long term, not because I'm wise but only because I'm old. I can't help it. When I look at things I see them in the context of centuries, not years. So when I look at Tom and Shane I don't see tragedy; I don't see injustice; I don't see the hateful, ignorant, fearful cruelty in some of the people around them.Like it or not, those things are ephemeral. They don't last forever. LOVE lasts forever. Joy lasts forever. Beauty lasts forever. What Shane and Tom had will last forever, because, folks, Tom is not dead in any way that matters.Bodies die, but the persons who live in the bodies never die. Tom is as real and as alive now as he was when Shane kissed him in front of the Eiffel Tower. He left here early, but a thousand years from now that won't matter at all, because they'll have been back together a lot longer than they were apart. That's the wonderful gift this movie gives to anyone who can receive it.