My friend's dad has been begging me to watch this for awhile, and I honestly don't know why. It was turrible. Slow paced, no action, no plot, no ending, just a big waste of my time. Something sorta kinda interesting happens an hour into it, but that's about it. For a 'zombie' movie, there's hardly any gore.Two baseball players named Ben and Mickey wander around during the apocalypse, scavenging for food and supplies. They talk about random boring stuff, come across a zombie every once in awhile, talk to a girl on the radio, listen to crappy indie music and get stuck in a car. That's literally it! Do yourself a favor and don't watch THE BATTERY!!!

So I thought this movie had a solid story where you have two guys who were originally just baseball teammates and acquaintances who decided to stick together after the zombie apocalypse.This movie had a good take on zombies being fairly slow and easy to kill. I liked the character development. There is one downside to this movie and it's why I only gave it an 8. It feels unfinished. This might be interpreted as a spoiler so spoiler warning.Throughout most of the movie the one character is trying to find these people he hears on a walkie-talkie radio. He reaches out to a girl who says that her group's safe zone is "not what it seems". All I'll say is the movie never fully builds on this. It just went in a different direction than I expected. I would have thought they would have been tormented by this group's leader (sort of like in the Telltale game The Walking Dead 2). That doesn't happen at all. Instead the rest of the movie they are stuck inside their car.It's worth watching at least once. The film makers are selling this movie for $5 on their website. Is it worth it? Not really. Maybe $2 rental on Vudu or something. They should work out a deal with Netflix, Redbox, or Youtube Red instead if they want some revenue from this movie. Or even offer it for free on Youtube and collect ad revenue.

Right, well I get suckered in by anything even remotely zombie, despite most zombie movies turning out to be bad, and "The Battery" was bad.I wonder what isolation the reviewers who wrote 'this movie is outrageously, insanely good', 'the first must-see zombie movie in a hell of a long time', 'truly amazing' and 'raises the bar' have been trapped in. If they think this was good beyond words, they are out of tune, pure and simple. Those above-mentioned statements were brandished on the DVD cover along with some nice-looking zombies.But lets stop right there! I got suckered in by false advertising so you don't have to. The aforementioned statements seems to be minted on a whole different movie, and t he zombies in the movie look nowhere near those on the DVD cover.In fact, the zombies in the movie were just people with really poor zombie make-up. But wait, it gets better, as you actually see a zombie woman consciously removing hair from her face during the motel scene. That was just so stupid.While "The Battery" offers absolutely nothing to an audience that crave proper zombie make-up and the obligatory gore, then it is disturbingly difficult to find anything worthwhile spending 96 minutes on suffering through this lack-of-zombies movie.The only thing that "The Battery" had working in its favor is the acting talents of both Jeremy Gardner and Adam Cronheim.But all in all, then this movie is not really worth suffering through, and if you do, then it is the type of movie that you watch once, then bag and tag it to let it collect dust on the movie collection shelves.This was a major disappointment and a slap in the face if you are a zombie aficionado like me.

This is clearly not a horror movie. Well, at least not the kind of horror movie that I am used to. I have heard about slow burn movies but what about movies which don't have a payoff at all? The Micky character..Jeez, what a whiner! I was expecting him to just run away in the end and leave his friend to be eaten or something like that. Why not, at least give a shocking ending in the end. Give me something. I didn't just spend 100 minutes to see a lot of arguments and songs. And why are there so many songs? Is this Bollywood? And even a dance. I was rolling my eyes at the dancing and the annoying songs in the middle which spoil any sort of atmosphere they want to build. I guess they can pad the run time by including all these songs.At the hour mark, suddenly I was curious about what is going on. I thought that this is the time the movie perks up. Something like Dead man's shoes or something. I was getting ready for the second half. Instead I get another long sequence in the car with a bunch of songs and the guys playing around. And the zombies? These must be the most useless zombies ever.What about the Orchard? I didn't really care much but the way they built it, I was expecting something towards the end. That is fine but at least don't bore me by showing them brush their teeth and play baseball and all. A few kills would not interrupt whatever nonsense these two were doing.I did laugh at a few points. It is not totally boring if you don't expect a horror movie. But even then, I couldn't stand that Micky character and I was getting a little tired of the unnecessary songs. Edit out the songs, expand on the Orchard and voila - there is a decent movie. Maybe not a horror movie but something good. Some points for some interesting scenes. Masturbating at a zombie and all. I think my problem was that I expected a straight forward serious horror movie. A rare commodity these days.4/10