Our Squadron has embarked on a most triumphant adventure, to ascertain the best-worst film of the 1980s. After a vast amount of study, and many efficacious screenings, we fell upon an IMDb endorsement…BMX Bandits. While none of us have ever seen this film, and judging solely on user reviews, the movie cover, and pictures from various scenes, we resolved to give it a viewing.The opening scene produced smiles to everyone's faces with anticipation of the potential astounding phenomenon that was to come. Those same smiles metamorphosed to looks of bewilderment as this same opening scene dragged on for five, nay ten minutes. Not long after, the initial chase scene began…and never ended.Aside from the unquestionably awful acting, the requisite for a translator to decipher the dialogue, mediocre bike stunts, unequivocally incompetent bad guys, and absolutely no plot whatsoever…never mind, it was just horrifying anyway you look at it. The only redeeming…sorry, I did it again, there was no redeeming quality. It was just that vile.Not many weeks before, we screened the film "Rad" and were mystified by its pure, unalloyed cinematography and tremendous BMX stunts. I deem it was a mistake, a most heinous mistake, to think that this movie could even come close to paralleling it. Some users compared "BMX Bandits" to the "Goonies." We all laughed and celebrated the scenes of our young heroes braving the copious traps set forth before them and relished in the memorable characters and musical compositions that would leave us singing these songs for days…wait, sorry, it didn't have any of that.When the credits finally completed rolling across the screen, I rose from my chair and gently flicked the switch to the lights above. The quiet hum they produced broke the silence that seemed to linger. What I saw next will forever be seared into my soul. Grown men, warriors who have braved numerous attacks and survived the harshest of environments were broken. Three lay on the floor, crouched in the fetal position, shaking and crying out for their mothers far away. One was bent over the nearby garbage can, emptying the contents of his stomach in an effort to cleanse what he had witnessed. Another simply sat in his chair as his bowels cried "no more" and emptied itself onto the ground. Yet the majority of us simply stared ahead, deep in thought. It wasn't in disbelief of what we had just forced ourselves to observe, but rather in self-reflection of how the deepest part of us will all be forever changed.Even though we are fighting in Afghanistan, and any time away from reality is valued more than any wealth, none of us can get those 88 minutes back…none of us. After the film we made a pact, once this review was complete, and submitted to you good people, we would never speak of it again.

I love this movie. The DVD from Severin films was in amazing quality, and the new restoration was absolutely beautiful. I think one of the best parts of this movie is that it doesn't matter how old you are to enjoy this movie. Sure, it was targeted towards kids, but really anyone can see it. And I'm not a guy who just praises underrated movies like this, either. My previous review was of the 1988 art film Alice, so I am serious when it comes to critiquing films. The cinematography and atmosphere in this movie are beautiful, and the use of bright, vibrant color reminds me almost of the Award Winning Dario Argento film Suspiria. The stunts are incredibly well done, and overall fun to watch. Nicole Kidman is perfect as the BMX riding tomboy, and her two male friends make great comic relief as one is an optimist, and the other is a pessimist. The sound effects are unique, as "swooshing" sounds play whenever a bike rides past the camera or performs a certain stunt. The film is very cartoonish, almost like Dick Tracy. Whether you're 8 or 88, BMX Bandits is a fun movie to watch. You can play it instantly on netflix, or buy the DVD from Severin films.

Spunky tomboy Judy (a winningly radiant portrayal by Nicole Kidman in her film debut), cheery hunk P.J. (the engaging Angelo D'Angelo), and pessimistic mope Goose (an equally likable turn by James Lugton) are a trio of ace BMX bicycle riders who stumble across a carton of walkie-talkies. However, said walkie-talkies belong to a gang of nefarious bank robbers who need them for their next big job. Director Brian Trenchard-Smith handles the amiably silly script by Patrick Edge and Russell Hagg with his trademark stylish brio and efficiency: the brisk pace rarely flags for a minute, the lighthearted tone keeps things bubbly and entertaining throughout, the stirring action set pieces are staged with real flair and skill (the bicycle stunts in particular are extremely agile, exciting, and impressive), and the amusing sense of goofy tongue-in-cheek humor delivers a substantial number of major belly laughs. The cast have a ball with the frothy material: David Argue and John Ley are hilarious as a couple of bumbling hoodlums, Bryan Marshall gives an excellent performance as hard-nosed British criminal ringleader the Boss, and Brian Sloman is suitably annoying as obnoxious fat jerk the Creep. John Seale's polished cinematography makes exquisite use of the widescreen Panavision format and offers plenty of breathtaking shots of the gorgeous Australian landscape. The funky synth score by Colin Stead and Frank Strangio hits the right-on groovy spot. The bouncy pop-rock soundtrack also smokes, with the catchy theme tune rating as a definite corker. Moreover, it's a total hoot to see a very cute, young, and scrappy pre-stardom Kidman sporting a huge poofy and overpermed 80's hairdo. A really fun film.

A trio of teen BMXers(including a young Nicole Kidman)find walkie talkies left underwater by two crooks(David Argue and John Ley)and decide to sell them in the hopes of getting new bikes and body gear. Communicating on a forbidden wavelength picked up by the police who must apprehend them, the trio might have a chance to get a new BMX rider park if they can help the cops capture the criminals wanted for the robbery seen at the beginning of the film. Most of the movie has Kidman and male teen pals, Lugton and D'Angelo evading Argue and Ley who pursue them in a car and by foot to no avail. Director Brian Trenchard-Smith(Dead End Drive-In)gets a lot of mileage out of beautiful Sidney, Australia, shooting all over(and through)the city using all sorts of flashy camera angles to depict bike riding in an alluring manner. If you are a fan of bike stunts, there are many to salivate over, including a very lengthly race through the city where the teens find constant ways to avoid Argue and Ley who pretend to be detectives(which doesn't fool Kidman, who they actually have cornered and eventually kidnap not once but twice). Like "The Goonies" after this, "BMX Bandits" features teen kids outsmarting bumbling criminals who aren't very bright and look foolish often. Would go nicely in a double feature with "Rad", except "BMX Bandits" is a bit more exciting since Trenchard-Smith is allowed to shoot anywhere he wants to in a massive city and does so with a lot of flair. The bikers ride through crowded streets, through a mall, even down a water slide for Petesake with doofuses Argue and Ley often falling over or running into people and debris. It's also easy to side with such likable teenagers as Kidman, D'Angelo and Lugton who are considered a nuisance by traffic cops who find them annoyances since they ride through areas they probably shouldn't. The storyline is fluff, all the fuss over a cache of walkie talkies, but this isn't some sort of serious crime drama about stolen drugs stashed away, recovered by kids who are in turn chased by a gang of ruthless hoods, it's a teen adventure, mere whimsy/escapism.