What happens when you combine British portmanteau films, William S. Burroughs cut-up techniques, 1970's philosophy, British men's magazines like Mayfair and throw in a mummy? You get a sheer burst of pure insanity like Bizarre.Also known as Secrets of Sex, the film starts with the story of a king who found his wife's lover and trapped him in a chest. This theme of trapping lovers carries on throughout the film.But never mind all that. Let's meet our narrator — a mummy voiced by Valentine Dyall (The Haunting, Bedazzled and the voice of Count Karnstein in Lust for a Vampire). He's here to tell us all about the battle of the sexes. Just listen to his words, as half-naked women and men fill the screen, one at a time: "Imagine you were making love to this girl. Imagine you were making love to this boy. Imagine you were making love to this girl. Imagine you were making love to this boy. Imagine you were making love to this girl. Imagine you were making love to this boy. Imagine you were making love to this girl. Imagine you were making love to this boy. Imagine you were making love to this girl. Imagine you were making love to this boy. Imagine you were making love to this girl. Imagine you were making love to this boy. Imagine you were making love to this girl. Imagine you were making love to this boy. Imagine this girl was making love to you. Imagine this boy was making love to you. Imagine this girl was making love to you. Imagine this boy was making love to you. Imagine this girl was making love to you. Imagine this boy was making love to you. Imagine this girl was making love to you. Imagine this boy was making love to you. Imagine this girl was making love to you. Imagine this boy was making love to you. Imagine this girl was making love to you. Imagine the consequences."We're then on the front row of this battle, with women in underwear facing off with me grasping machine guns. The women have vegetables thrown at them as the men advance. One of the women, a blonde, stares down the men, who fall to her beauty before she removes a straight razor from between her legs.Alright — let me be perfectly honest. Your ability to enjoy this film totally depends on the amount of drugs in your system, how late you're watching it and your tolerance for 1970's experimental filmmaking. If you're been reading this site for any length of time, you know that this movie was pretty much made for me and sent forward 47 years into the future.

A talking mummy (voiced with plummy and commanding aplomb by Valentine Dyall) guides the viewers on a very colorful and unusual grand tour of the epic ongoing battle between the sexes. Director/co-writer Anthony Balch accurately captures the brash and cheeky irreverence and bold "try it, do it" off the wall experimentalism of the swingin' 60's with this genuinely offbeat cinematic potpourri of humor (the broad spy spoof segment rates as the definite campy highlight), horror (a hunky male model gets the unnice slice, a lady gives birth to a hideously malformed mutant baby), and eroticism (naturally, there's a plethora of nudity from both gals and guys alike). Moreover, Balch further spruces things up with plenty of funky psychedelic visual flourishes and such kinky stuff as bondage, torture, and hot chicks in dressed in shiny black leather. Better still, there's a pronounced peculiarity to the whole eccentric enterprise that's really something to behold (a gaggle of go-go dancing honeys are pelted with vegetables by a gang of disapproving dudes who also advance on them while brandishing machine guns!). David McDonald's splashy cinematography makes fine use of ripe bright colors. De Wolfe's stirring dramatic score likewise hits the overwrought spot. A truly unique and enjoyable one of a kind oddity.

Around the time this film was being made, there was a shift being made in consciousness which sparked many attempts to explain scientifically the new beliefs of the age and usher in not only of the new decade, but a new mindset.This mindset was a marrying of Science, and Spirituality. The sexual revolution had begun, and out of that came a deeper understanding of sexual acceptance, but the power of sex and social norms. Always at the height of these schools of thought was the journey of the soul.Now being a relatively new school of thought in the west, they never seemed to go too far beyond the superficial, but were more a means of making tangible the experience of the soul, desire, and bring it all into a context of the natural world.That is what this movie then is.A mummy narrates sexual vignettes concerning the endless struggle of the sexes, and the bizarre displays of human behavior in the pursuit of satisfaction.A very fascinating movie, thoroughly enjoyable, and a remarkable milestone for the western mind sprouting in the soil of new knowledge.

An ancient mummy voiced by Valentine Dyall hosts a succession of wacky vignettes which explore the theoretical battle of the sexes. This is one of the strangest films in the sexploitation genre, a hip little item from out of left field which is appealing for its attractive cast and unchained outrageous absurdity. The expounded stories run a gamut of sex-themed situational weirdness, ranging in tone from gruesome and unsettling to giddily whimsical.A distinctly British cult item, and a unique concoction from Antony Balch. One of the more unjustly ignored outsider personalities of sixties underground cinema,Balch is best known for his short film collaborations with William S. Burroughs.Though it clearly has limited appeal, it's worth investigating...I personally found it highly enjoyable and refreshingly original nonsense.5.5/10