I actually felt more intelligent after this! (I was just insulted. I was red inked "your review is too short." Yeah, I am only 5'3 and that is still considered "short"?)

BIGFOOT is another Asylum monster movie in which a giant CGI bigfoot rampages through the woods and terrorises people, in particular the organisers of a woodland rock concert. Like previous Asylum movies before it, this film's remit is to grab of a bunch of past-it celebrities and throw them into a non-existent storyline, one that's full of cheese and lame action sequences.That I enjoyed this a little more than the majority of Asylum offerings is only because the ones I usually watch are so very poor (like THE DAY THE EARTH STOPPED, the one I watched right before this). The CGI bigfoot is poor, but not quite as poor as some of the CGI monsters you see in SyFy Channel movies, but the scenes of him going on a destructive rampage, climbing Mount Rushmore and smashing diggers and helicopters, are kind of fun in an ultra-cheesy way.Cast-wise, we get old-time stars Bruce Davison and Sherilynn Fenn, both looking incredibly aged, as the small-town sheriffs on the trail of the beast; Davison also directs for some odd reason. Danny Bonaduce and Barry Williams are the rival old-time TV actors/musicians who square off as the running time progresses. It's an attempt to re-do the Tiffany/Debbie Gibson antagonism/pairing in MEGA SHARK VS. GATOROID although it doesn't work as well here. The best part is Alice Cooper's amusing cameo.

Ever since Mr. Mercer and myself have endeavored to create our own monster movie based on the legendary bigfoot (you can read more about our efforts here), I've kept an eye out for any and all things related to the ever elusive Sasquatch. Enter the release of 2012′s Bigfoot, a made for TV movie that documents the reign of terror imposed by a creature more relative in size and stature to King Kong than the reportedly gentle giant that roams the forests of North America.There are a number of ways one could approach a film like this, but I would never have guessed that the story would center around a rock concert in the shadow of Mount Rushmore. Two aging foes—who apparently shared glory days as members of jam bands during the 1980′s—lock horns in a dispute that boils down to conservationism versus capitalism. I'll save you the grief of a tedious narrative recap by saying simply that the catalyst that ultimately sets up the confrontation with the creature of cryptozoological lore is idiotic; it's a hammy idea that may have worked had the actors been more willing to "cheese up" the proceedings, but a misplaced sense of seriousness sinks any hopes of intentional laughter. Instead, we get uneven sequences that find our hero and villain spouting off cliché lines (and plot points) about protecting the environment and generating revenue for small town America (respectively).Are you bored yet? If so, I apologize, but this serves to highlight the fatal flaw of Bigfoot: that there isn't enough of well bigfoot. When the monster shows up good fun is had by all, but too much of the movie is bogged down in a dispute between two unlikable characters. Last time I checked, people tune into the SyFy Channel movie of the week because they want over-the-top gore and an overabundance of horrendous special effects. Here, neither is given the screen time it deserves, and the result is a mind-numbing movie with an absolutely infuriating conclusion that's every bit as hollow as Alice Cooper's two minute cameo.Yeah. You read that right. Actually, said appearance might just be the highlight of Bigfoot. As the aging rock star touts before being stepped on by the massive primate, "I'm the scariest thing you'll ever see!"

This movie was pure fun, for me!Those 45 or older will relish the star-studded cast-from-the-past, including Danny Bonaduce, Barry Williams, Howard Hesseman, and Alice Cooper.Yes, it's a terrible 2/10 low-budget movie, without the awesome star power. But with it, the movie is a joy to watch. I want to give it 10 stars, just for the sheer awesomeness of getting all these stars on-board!! IF ONLY the movie, itself, weren't so silly, and had better production values...I understand that today's children (well...likely anyone under 45) won't have the same nostalgia...since they likely won't recognize these stars. Then, I can imagine the movie being a waste of time. But. If you grew up watching The Partridge Family, The Brady Bunch, and WKRP In Cincinnati, this is a fun jaunt down memory lane. I knew nothing about this film, and took a chance on it. I'm soooooo glad I did! Pure fun!