All this movie did was make my dick extremely hard only for me to find out that not a single person shits their intestines out at any point of the movie. This would've been maybe somewhat decent if any of the women weighed at least 300 kg, but of course they all looked like movie stars. I would rather diarrhea inside my own eye than watch this piece of fascism again. And while I enjoyed it showing how the capitalist US military was hopeless before the volcano, I hated how at the end some survived seemingly supporting this evil capitalist state and not supporting my communist regime.

Where do I even begin? This disaster film was released direct-to-video by notoriously cheesy independent film company The Asylum on March 28, 2014. The 90-minute long film follows a commercial airliner as it flies into a ring of erupting volcanoes, becoming stuck on autopilot in the process, forcing a passenger, portrayed by Dean Cain, to step in, and fly the plane without landing it. Besides Cain, one other washed-up actor Robin Givens, known for her 90's sitcom Head of the Class co-tars as a volcanologist trying to help from the ground while simultaneously helping a military base with an evacuation. Despite Cain, and Givens receiving top billing, they barely receive enough screen time to really be considered leads. The actual lead roles are portrayed by Matt Mercer as a nerdy passenger, and Givens' colleague who attempts to reach contact with the ground, and Tamara Goodwin as the plane's stewardess who, despite being whiny, and annoying, knows her way with the men in the film. Seriously, she hugs at least 3 people throughout the course of the film. Co-starring are Morgan West as a military specialist whom helps Givens in the rescue of the plane, Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs as an air marshal, and David Vega, who portrays one of the worst villains in film history. He portrays a psychopathic man with a fear of flying who threatens the passengers of the plane with tiny little broken bar bottles, which everybody is scared of for some reason. Before I continue, I need to address the film's implausible, and ridiculous premise. Alright, so instead of flying out of the ring of only six volcanoes, Cain chooses to just keep flying in the ring for what could possibly 6 hours, not to mention the improbability that they didn't die from heat exhaustion. Not only that, but the military planes manage to fly in, and out of the field within 5 minutes. Speaking of ridiculous plots, Mike Jerome Putnam portrays a Colonel on the ground who, for some reason, refuses to help the plane. The military's job is to serve, and protect the people of Earth. And yet, he seems to be more interested in his own life than the lives of 40-something people in a plane. Also, one in scene in the middle of the film where volcanic rocks fly down like meteors on the military base adds absolutely nothing, and should've been cut from the film entirely, not to mention all of the unnecessary slow-motion exhibited in the scene. Speaking of ridiculous scenes, the ending is just as bad, and seems more like a reenactment scene in the documentary television series Air Crash Investigation than a serious action sequence. With awful effects, dumb characters, and an implausible storyline, this film is overall worse than most of The Asylum's films, and that's saying something for this company. The film can only be enjoyed ironically, and is best experienced by making MST3K-type jokes about it. Airplane vs. Volcano is a cinematic abomination, and is perhaps one of The Asylum's worst films ever. I really have nothing good to say about the film, so I'm giving it a one out of ten. I thought is was complete garbage.

After watching this on TV and thoroughly hooked throughout I want congratulate the cast and crew. I don't understand the haters. The FX were not as believable or pretty as higher budgeted films but then I have yet to be convinced by any of the best out there. Plenty of FX films are plain awful because of bad story But this held my attention through imaginative scenes and shots. While you could say a lot of FX were impossible they are no worse than all the liberties taken by other films. For example In space you can hear sound all ships have gravity Batman Jason Bourne et all fight nonsensically with sound fx giving meaning to nothing. Anyway the point is as far as believability goes its a work of fiction made believable by excellent acting camera-work sound and story. Well done.

I had fun reading all previous reviews and I found it so funny that someone could actually consider this a good movie. It is so absurd that its no use describing it entirely, but its release was as bad as The Core, to mention a flick as absurd as it is lame. However, I think it is worth mentioning a few things I learned from the movie (not even enough to reach 100) that get you thinking: - At the speed a jetliner flies, and the time the movie takes, the volcano range must be the length of South America LOL - An army private has more balls than a Colonel. - A tablet can save people's lives when all functions on a plane are screwed. - You can be strapped and dangle out of a flying jetliner at 10K feet flying over active volcanoes and not pass out instantly. I could go on, but I have work to do, so no more to add. Don't waste your time with this, I mean it. I wish there was a voting option of 0 but there ain't, so 1 will have to do.