This late-80s stinker tries to carve out a Nordic-mythology niche in the rapidly-declining slasher genre, but fails to do literally anything else of note.A group of teenagers, personality-free even by '80s horror standards, goes for a weekend camping trip, but unfortunately, there's a "berserker" about -- a cannibalistic Nordic hunter who wears a bear snout on his face. Not to mention a giant brown bear! And a kindly old man with a bad Swedish accent named Pappy! So much to be scared of! Actually, I'm genuinely confused who is actually killing these teenagers. By the title, it's assumed the Berserker is the one at fault, but there's also endless footage of the bear stalking the teenagers and running away after kill scenes. These scenes are all incompetently filmed and lit and give no clue to the mystery, either.Not that it really matters: both killers seem incompetent at their job and the flick has a pitifully low body count. Instead, you're treated to overlong chess scenes, horrid rock songs ("HE'S A COOOOOOOL DUDE!"), and endless shots of people walking through the forest. It's 82 minutes long and feels like it should be half that.For Odin's sake, they even make a fist-fight between a Viking and a brown bear dull to watch! All but the most ardent slasher completists will find BERSERKER damn near unBEARable. Skip it!

A group of friends are on a camping trip where they encounter a "nordic beast" which assaults(more like mauls them)with bear claws. Out in the darkness of the wilderness somewhere near their cabin(or another's cabin they "borrow"), this group is lost, hoping to find their way back, but this will be a dangerous quest as the "berserker" is somewhere in the midst, ready to strike.Based on legend, the berserker is said to be a descendant of the Vikings, savage humans, in bear skins(wearing their heads and arms equipped with claws), cannibalistic even, who eat their prey. It was said, as part of the legend, that the souls of the berserkers were not allowed into heaven, and so they continue on, invading the bodies of their ancestors. Could this be who is after the group of college youths just out of the city for some fun? Most of the attacks are claws to the victims' faces and bodies. Some nudity and sex between boyfriend/girlfriend, Mike and Shelly(Joseph Alan Johnson and Beth Toussaint)before the berserker goes on a rampage. It all started with Josh's girlfriend, Kristi(Shannon Engemann)having to urinate, with Mike and Shelly going to see what was taking her so long. While the lovebirds were engaged in sex, Kristi was being attacked. Soon the entire company is in the woods, searching for an exit. Josh(Greg Dawson)used to come to the cabins all the time with his father..he's the one of the group who who can be a pain in the ass, and is a bit of a mischief maker. He tosses out a beer can and is pulled over by police officer, Hill(John Goff), not the right start to their vacation. Hill warns of littering and sends them on their way. George Buck Flower is Pappy Nyquist, who runs the campgrounds and cabins where our gang wish to crash. Pappy is from "the old country", his w's sounding like v's. Hill and Pappy are life long friends and discuss, vaguely, the Norse legend. We get the impression that those outside the city, aren't very fond of the outsiders who show up to leave garbage for them to clean up. The area where the cabins are located had descendants of the Vikings/berserkers, which might explain who is behind the murders which soon transpire. Or, as the filmmakers point out, a bear shown wandering about in the woods could be the culprit. When Larry(Rodney Montague) breaks a leg stumbling over a log, Josh will remain with him as Larry's girlfriend Kathy(Valerie Sheldon)and Mike go for help. A constant in this movie is the discovery of past victims, buried in bushes or hidden underneath tree branches, which obviously shock and frighten the cast not expecting corpses in the general area. Basically carries the structure of the wilderness slasher movie, with a "berserker" and claws replacing a knife-wielding maniac. Buck Flower completists might want to check this out. The ending I found pretty silly and more than a bit bewildering, the way the berserker responds to sunlight and how the image of "it" changes as the film closes.

When one ponders how truly terrible a handful of 80's "wackos-in-the-woods" fright features tend to be (e.g., "The Forest," "The Prey," and "Don't Go in the Woods"), claiming that "Berserker" qualifies as an especially abysmal example of this horror sub-genre speaks volumes about its exceptionally abominable lack of quality. The plot's strictly by-the-numbers -- and from hunger to boot: Six bland, witless jerky teens (three guys and three gals) go camping in the Wisconsin wilderness, only to wind up getting bagged by a claw-and-bear snout wearing modern-day descendant of an ancient fabled Norwegian warrior known as a -- big, portentous drum roll please -- BERSERKER! This flat, flaccid stinker misses the boat in practically every respect; it's a cheap, overly familiar and grindingly predictable time-waster brought down by horrid acting from the talentless, irritating teens (only the lovely Beth Toussaint, who bears a passing resemblance to Linda Hamilton, manages to make a favorable impression because she not surprisingly bares all in a thoroughly gratuitous, yet still much-appreciated sex scene), insipid cardboard characters, an unbearably poky pace, extremely bogus gore (the Norwegian nutcase rubs what looks like sodden raspberry jelly all over its victims' faces), a trite, meandering narrative, a blatantly telegraphed "surprise" ending, and dire, uninspired direction. The sole source of faint entertainment is the always refreshing and uplifting presence of late, great, sorely missed fat guy character actor favorite George "Buck" Flower, who delivers a funny, spirited performance as Pappy Nyquist, the choleric, doddering, eccentric camp caretaker whose land the kids trespass on. Flower's frequent co-star John Goff appears as an ineffective sheriff. Goff and Flower collaborated on the scripts for such choice 70's drive-in cheese as "Joyride to Nowhere," "C.B. Hustlers," and the immortal "Drive-In Massacre." Among the many movies Goff and Flower appear in together are "The Witch Who Came from the Sea," "The Alpha Incident," "The Fog," the indispensable Pia Zadora classic "Butterfly," "The Night Stalker," "Maniac Cop," "They Live," "Relentless," "Skeeter," both "Ilsa" flicks, and "Tammy and the T-Rex." And I believe I'm going off on a little extraneous tangent here. But hey, when you're reviewing a flick as lame and unremarkable as "Berserker" the urge to embark on an utterly incongruous tangent is downright impossible to resist. I think that says plenty about this baby's lowly status as an undeniably dismal dud.

A group of teenagers (who actually look to be 30) head up to a cabin for some fun and sun, but come under attack by an ancient viking beserker.An awful film with poor acting, direction, and writing, even by slasher movie standards. Sloopy editing doesn't help much either. Features more sex and nudity then usual though, but even that can't make this entertaining. My rating: 3 out of 10.