This has gotta be one of the most under-rated and "under-known" US-made gay movies out there (well, maybe not under-rated since nearly 75% of the comments here award a 7- to 10-Star rating). But how could it have gotten by without having kicked up more dust?Each time I watch it I enjoy it more, each time I watch it I appreciate it more. It becomes like picking up and studying a finely crafted object; it suddenly hits you: hey, there're no seams here, no rough joints; its finish is wonderfully even. How'd they do this? And then you think: Well, Goldberg and Alexander......sure, they've been around for awhile and are truly spot-on here, but.....Bucatinsky...who is this guy??!!?? (only the one who crafted/wrote this play-to-movie, of course).....and Ruccolo...wow...where'd all this acting depth come from of a sudden? And however in the world did one apparently straight guy actor playing against one apparently gay guy actor get this so right? Well, the answer has to be, of course, that they understood if it's about love, it doesn't matter whether 2 guys, or guy and gal, or 2 gals are the focus. These actors obviously came to realize that, and so it became easy for them to act that. (Not something that two other guys, named Ennis & Jack, were ever fortunate enough to learn in time, eh?).Well, on to a bit of what this movie's all about. A pure romantic comedy this is NOT.........perhaps, more correctly, it's a "dramedy." After all, how many mainstream gay movies have you seen in which a character utters such descriptively jarring words (see title of this comment, above) after a sexual act that's earlier taken place? Yes, this movie's for real and is very much a real life movie. Just stop to think about it---that when you've had Eli's and, particularly, Tom's kinds of childhood---well, you'll then have a great deal to overcome in adult life, whether it be a heterosexual or homosexual one. And if you, dear reader, haven't grown up in a household where alcohol has been a parental "drug of choice," then don't presume to judge Tom's behavior in this movie. Most realistically, Ruccolo has made Tom a direct product of his parent's relationship. In this dramedy Ruccolo gives us an especially intense performance which is actually easy to see, if you will only carefully watch his scenes: the telling facial expressions and eye movement; his body-set when he, for example, moves to stand against Eli in one scene, or to unobtrusively cup Eli's hands in another; even his movement of jaw muscles (did someone think his role through, or not!) His end-of-film, wedding kitchen tirade ("Hey!!!!!........") is more than enough to almost scare and stop any viewer short, as it certainly does Eli in that scene. This guy is one hell of an actor......why haven't we since seen a lot more of him? (The "curse" of playing a gay role, the hex of giving us such an intense guy-on-guy bedroom scene; is there such a jinx as this?) Yet it is in Eli's control freak behavior that lies Tom's salvation. For, of all the inappropriate things Eli's shrink parents (and they're marvelously performed) have given him that they shouldn't have, it's his capacity for being understanding (which they also bequeathed) that will in the end save Tom......and Eli, himself, for that matter. And Bucatinsky is just great at showing us a little bit of ourselves (or, perhaps, a lot) in his skillful portrayal. If you're reading reviews for a movie such as this, then please accept my recommendation to make it a part of any DVD collection you may have.....it's more than worthy of repeated viewings.......you'll catch so much more each time that you do.PS--Oh, oh.........almost forgot to give you your Possible Spoiler, so here goes. At movie's end we find our struggling duo sitting and conversing in a garden, when all of a sudden you can see in their eyes and faces---as if the proverbial light bulb's been turned on---each one realizing that they have in the other what they've been needing and wanting all along. What a great heart-swelling moment for us, eh?PPS--You're missing out on a really good "insider's" comment on this movie if you haven't read the one by keithla43 (from Culver City, CA), posted at this site on 20 May 2003, under the comment title, "Classic love story." ****

I really loved this movie! I just loved the way the characters Tom and Eli interacted together as well as the way their friends worked to set them up. I could really relate to the frustration and, at times anger, that Eli was going through trying to figure out the mixed messages that Tom was sending him. It was great seeing one of the characters who was having problems coming to terms with his own wish/need for lasting love grapple with his demons and finally allow himself to reach out and touch some real happiness. At the end of the movie I was in tears. This movie has it all: comedy, tragedy, and a heart-wrenching resolution. Every gay person and and their straight friend(s) should see this movie!

I believe I dated Tom (the character in the movie) for about three weeks in 1990. I believe I dropped his alcoholic butt after he made a pass at the man in the movie theater (of course they went to the bathroom), and after he introduced me to his friend as another friend. I really wanted to kick Eli in the rear for even talking to this alcoholic jerk after he's calling and telling him how sorry he is for sleeping with his umpteenth man of the hour. However, I am a man of fantasy, and there is nothing that makes a movie work better than some good ole endings with zero reality. And this show delivers a great ending and makes you feel good about Tom & Eli (haven't seen my Tom since '90, he's probably still drinking and sleeping with a different man every night). Doris Roberts and Andrea Martin make the show completely hilarious. The alternate ending wasn't as good as the original EXCEPT it may give a reason why Eli would stay with alcoholic Tom.

Why would a person go back to a person, who kicks them in the teeth, not once, not twice, but over and over again.This film teaches us that in order to find love we must accept abuse (not just forgive it, but fully accept it). Gosh! No wonder my first relationship only lasted ten years. I obviously wasn't embracing my inner masochist.As Bucatinsky's writing debut, there are many wonderful aspects to this film; however, in order to justify the reunion of Eli and Tom, more character development would have been helpful. We are never acquainted with Eli's masochism, in fact, we are led to believe that he is not a masochist, although Tom's psycho-emotional sadism is highly evident.