For about the first thirty minutes of "After School Massacre", I kept thinking that it was like watching a porno without the sex. The line readings are stilted and awkward, the sound is poorly recorded and echoey, and the direction is almost non-existant. Every now and then the filmmakers seem to realise they are supposed to cut occasionally; this happens so seldom in the movie's opening act that it's surprising when it does happen. The echo on the soundtrack provides a hint that scenes at the beginning of the movie supposedly set in a teachers' lounge were obviously filmed on a breezy set.Anyway, they move to a house where the inevitable killings start to happen, but that doesn't really matter. The movie exists to show girls in their underwear. It must have had a laughably low budget, so at least they were able to get some attractive actresses for that money who were willing to disrobe... part of the way. If you're looking for nudity, you'll be disappointed. I remember only a couple of nipples on screen, one at a time.The plot is something to do with a teacher's aide who apparently has received a friend request from one of his students - but has not accepted it. Somehow having heard about this, the dean of students fires the teacher's aide. Not only did he not even accept the friend request, but the dean couldn't have possibly known it was sent in the first place, unless he also works as an admin for Facebook. But since when is merely receiving a friend request from a student grounds for termination? The students should just send friend requests to all the teachers they don't like, and watch them disappear.The teacher's aide goes crazy and starts killing, but you knew that already. In this case you can almost see where he's coming from.The action moves to a house where a group of girls are having a slumber party. They all seem too old for such things, but nevermind. From this point on (and we're only at about the five minute mark) the girls onscreen will mostly only be wearing their underwear.Struggling to think of things to say that sets this one apart from the (perhaps literally endless) number of other low budget slashers, one thing did occur to me: the kill scenes in this movie are perhaps the worst I've ever seen. They are just so lame, I can only assume that the budget went to acquiring hot girls and didn't leave any money for gore effects. There is a character that all the girls hate because he is an obnoxious jerk... and yet he still ends up getting some alone time with at least a couple of them. This character is the only one in the movie who made the slightest impression on me, because he is so irritating. Characters who are disliked by a coterie of hot girls are usually an easy way for a film to generate some sympathy. Hell, even "Meatballs 4" managed a sympathetic goof. "After School Massacre"'s version of this character, however, is someone we share the girls' distaste for, and that's not a good thing.None of the said girls register with personalities of their own. You can only tell them apart because they wear different panties.One scene actually seemed to revel in this lameness and have fun with it, which featured a curling iron, something I don't think I've ever seen used as a weapon in a movie before.The ending to the movie also comes out of nowhere and doesn't really conclude anything. I just suddenly found myself watching the bizarre credits sequence, which includes a weird sort of quasi-rap song with all the actresses dancing around, still clad in their underwear, but no longer murdered. They rap/sing something to do with "fruit on the belly", and... er... I'm just at a loss to try to explain that.One other thing sticks out about this movie, not that I'll remember it much longer... and that's the killer's mask, which is easily the lamest I've seen in a movie. It's a ski mask which for some reason doesn't even cover his whole face: it leaves his chin exposed. I found myself wondering if they did that to make his voice more audible when he's wearing the mask.Or maybe the filmmaker's mother had to knit the mask for the movie because they didn't have enough money in the budget to buy one from a thrift store, and she didn't finish making the mask in time before the movie was due to start shooting?Maybe?

This movie is awful from start to whenever you quit because there is no way you are going to watch the whole thing. The movie starts with a girl babbling to her boyfriend over the phone in a voice that sounds like she is drowning before she ODs on Advil in the span of five minutes. For me, it ended with the girls talking about two homicides like it was yesterday's gossip. Maybe we should start a new trend to see who can get the farthest into this movie before dropping out. People like dare trends, especially ones where they see others in pain.When I first saw this movie, I figured it might be a good way to pass the time, maybe get a few laughs in at how bad it was. I didn't get past the first 20 minutes of the movie before I had to quit watching out of fear of falling victim to cancer. I expected it to be bad, but enjoyable like Sharknado and Rubber. This Movie was more cancerous than watching a Jersey shore marathon with Justin Bieber music playing at full blast in the background.This movie was rated G on the site where I watched it but should have been rated R for really bad acting. I understand the budget was only 40,000 but dang, scoop up a hustler pretending to be homeless on your street corner because they would have been better than these actors. Everything screamed porn. I almost didn't want to keep watching because I feared at any moment, the teenage girls were going to start making out with each other, especially when one asked another to take a shower with her.(no, they didn't shower together, she just had a fear of being in the room where the girl OD)The music sounded like really bad arcade music from knock offs of a space invader game, and my friend said they reminded him of old porn music. The killer had little to no motivation for killing, and every method of killing wasn't very interesting. Yes, scissors stab. Yes, you can snap necks. What happened to horror movies killing people in more creative ways? So, as my rant runs short on characters, I end with this conclusion; don't watch this movie. You could spend this time hanging out with your friends or loved ones. The only time you should watch this is if you really hate your self, want to know what not to do when making a film, or I you are trying to torture information out of a victim.It's that bad.

...you very likely already wasted a small but still significant portion of your life (think of all the more rewarding things you could have done in that 73-minute running time--the mind boggles!) watching this stinker; perhaps only forty minutes or so if you wisely put fast-forward to liberal use. Really, the other three (as of this writing and likely far into the future) reviews here have covered the bases well: horrible script, lifeless dialogue, indifferent direction, predominantly horrendous acting from the bulk of an obviously unpaid cast (I could spot maybe three who might have been seduced with some sort of nominal day rate), and production values a mere step above desperation. And the music. Oh, boy, the music. Some of the linked external reviews are stunningly kind, undoubtedly written by sycophants and fellow travelers. Ignore them. Even the redemptive powers of nubile bodies cannot rescue this pitiful mess; "After School Massacre" is almost painful viewing. Let's just put it this way: when the killer gets no credits listing, something is wrong; when the truth of the matter is that he doesn't deserve any listing, you know things are very, very wrong. And when a film this amateurish has the nerve to claim itself "in memory of Edward D. Wood, Jr.," you know that things have gone horribly, horribly wrong.Do not watch. You have been warned. There are very good reasons that pap like this is available free on YouTube. I just gave you a few. Others here have done the same. Listen to us, I beg you. Don't be one of those poor fools who had to read this *after* you burned off 73 minutes you'll never, ever get back. You will end up with fruit on your belly, and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.

The sets are lacking, the acting chops are SORELY lacking and originality is not to be found anywhere. There are some cute women in the cast, but libidinous male viewers shouldn't get their hopes up; the "skin factor" is limited and nowhere near sufficient to make it worthwhile watching this debacle. The kills are so unconvincing as to be comical, the role of law enforcement depicted with a childlike simplicity, meaning gore and suspense fans will also find the film quite disappointing. I am the most patient of movie viewers, but I ended up skimming through most of the film on 4x fast forward after watching the first 25-30 minutes. Too lousy a film to even come close to the "so bad it's good" classification. AVOID!