To those of you who think this is an intelligent film, I say wake up and smell the rotting carrion. This flick is about as intelligent and subtle as a suicide bomb. There are a lot of ostensibly clever puns, but Greenaway feels the need to smash us over the head with them, like a bad comedian who keeps repeating the punchline with "did you get it? did you get it??" Take the title for example. A zed and two noughts. Mildly clever. But Greenaway feels the need to bash us in the face with it, with (literally) neon signs saying ZOO throughout the flick. Peter, I think anyone with a heartbeat gets it, OK? Similarly, he grosses us out to no end with disgusting rotting corpses. Again this is his way of saying "Gross, eh? Are you grossed out? Are you grossed out? How bout I throw in a penis? Now are you grossed out? A naked fat chick?" This is not cinema. This is not intelligent expression. It's abstract, visceral "potty art". People who think farts are funny will think Greenaway is intelligent. Avoid this film, and while you're at it, avoid all Greenaway films. They're all the same.

A Zed and Two Noughts (or Zoo) is Greenaway's best film. Made during the transition between his early experimental short films and his later more narrative (and more celebrated) ones, his free flowing structure is at its best here, fresh, witty and cerebral (some would also say pedantic). In later films, one has the feeling that Greenaway has try to go back to the style set by Zoo, but the results (like in 8 1/2 women) are almost unwatchable. The plot: two biologists twins working in a zoo, specialized in studying the putrefaction of animals, lose their wives in a car accident. They hook up with a strange woman who lost her leg in that accident. Meanwhile, there are references to Vermeer throughout (what does this has to do with zoology, only Greenaway knows), speeded up shots of real rotting animals, Michael Nyman's hypnotic score, and also a girl who learns the alphabet through giant letters that are linked with live animals (for example, z is for zebra, as in a children's book). Deliberately non naturalistic, Greenaway makes from this strange melange a very compelling movie, though undoubtedly very hard to take for some.

I am normally a very open-minded film connoisseur as I see film as potentially the greatest art form since the 'invention' of music. Films like Russian Ark, Au hasard Balthazar, anything by Bergman, Irreversible, Fitzcarrldo, Izo, The Mirror, Naked, Hana-Bi, Fallen Angels, What Time is it There?, Weekend, Tokyo Drifter, The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie, etc to name a few, are all films that can express & transcend the very medium of film to convey emotions, thoughts, moods, & ideas that cannot be expressed by any other means in art. Most importantly the works breathe in essence because behind every one of them is a director/artist that is creating the film. A real creator using the creative process to form something that is at heart, only a reel of film.Now, with all that said, I must say that cinematic projection (I will not grace the words film with it) was by & large the absolute WORST thing i've ever had the misfortune to see in my life thus far. Nothing about this in any way is constructive/deconstructive to any end since it's so busying wanking off in order to make itself as worthless as possible. In all serious regards, i've never seen anything in my life that was as absolutely pretentious & just plain worthless as this. Nothing. This was so far abstracted that anything it bothered to try & 'say' is completely laughable. Nothing i've ever seen comes close to perfectly surmising the word pretentious as this.Nothing in element of shot composition (haha), dialog, music, etc can rise this above being the most vacant excuse for pretentious ejaculation on screen. To compare, I for one enjoy Matthew Barney's Crewmaster works which many find completely pretentious/inaccessible. As inaccessible as Barney seems, one can see an artist creating something. Even with all his Vaseline melting, hardcore band dueling, naked women swimming, at heart is a creator who while oblique, creates something that can in the very least creating with regard. Here all we have is pure wankery that attempts simultaneously to pretend to say something, while meaning absolutely nothing at the same time. Anything, any 'scene' from this garbage is just completely utterly worthless; watching paint dry would be a more worthy use of 110 minutes since paint doesn't babble at you and at least lends itself to altering the reason why you are watching it in the first place.In all seriously, use your 110 minutes elsewhere & thus benefit/impact your life in some way other than by simply wasting minutes and minutes of your life by watching this.Absolute pretentious excrement.

After two brothers lose their wives in a car crash, realize that death is the most fascinating part of life. They constantly photograph animals in a state of decomposition. This celebrates the fact that for every unique life there is a unique death and it should be glorified as is life in all its forms.Greenaway seems the exact opposite of Lynch. Lynch takes the ordinary and makes it extraordinary. Greenaway takes the extraordinary and attempts to make it appear ordinary.