3 NINJAS: HIGH NOON AT MEGA MOUNTAIN is an ultra-cheesy addition to the 3 NINJAS series of kid's martial arts flicks. These come across as low-rent KARATE KID clones, with a trio of dim-looking kids battling evil adults and generally kicking their backsides. The ridiculous plot has a heavily made-up Loni Anderson playing a villain called Medusa (don't ask), who terrorises a popular star (a typically wooden and amusing Hulk Hogan). The kids step in and lots of low rent action ensues. Generally this is a below par production, filled with exceptionally cheesy action sequences, loud hits, and stunt men getting thrown around the sets. Victor Wong (TREMORS) shows up in his last role, but this is very basic - and very dated - stuff.

The only reason I bought this DVD is because I'm such a fan of Varney's. I wouldn't have known about this movie much less get it if he wasn't in it. While lots of people rag on Hulk Hogan, he wasn't the worst actor. By far, the most wooden performance goes to Loni Anderson. If this is a family oriented movie, why in the world did they have her dress in that skanky leather outfit that was far too short? Terrible casting as far as Loni goes. She was supposed to be the evil Medusa but I didn't buy it. She just didn't have the quality of pulling off the 'bad guy' type of role. She was much better on 'WKRP in Cinncinati'. I got a little tired of Tum Tum's 'Ay-yahs' after a while. They were too high pitched and over done. All 6 stars go to Jim Varney. I was actually rooting for Lothar to become successful in his mission for he was the only one of the bad guys with the brilliance to pull off the heist. He easily outshone all the stars, as usual. He always gives 100% to whatever role he played as you can see here. Jim and Victor were the two best actors in this movie. Maybe if Jim had cast and directed this, it would've been a bigger box office success. The man was a brilliant actor and a genius. If you're a fan of Varney's, then yes, get the movie just to watch him. Otherwise, don't bother.

Although I may be ashamed to say it, there was a time in my life where I thought the 3 Ninjas movies rocked. My personal favorites were the first one and the one where they go to Japan. When I finally surpassed that dark age in my childhood, I decided to see one again just for plain stupidity. I noticed all the elements present in a bad movie. Then, Mega Mountain was aired on HBO, years later since the last time, and saw it for whatever reason you could think of that included weed. Stupid jokes, stupid plot, stupid acting, stupid kids making stupid moves to stupid bad guys. That's all there is to it. Just like the previous ones, but this time they step it up a notch, by adding the incredible martial arts moves of that kung fu legend, Hulk Hogan. There were really memorable moments, like the one where a bunch of people puke after riding a ride turned nightmare (actually, they were puking over being extras for this movie). The movie's plot was probably stolen from a rejected script from Beverly Hills Cop 3, and later rewrote to achieve that disgusting kiddy tone. This is an insult to any audience, including babies. You can't even make fun of it while watching it (it's that bad).

Rocky and Colt are probably getting a bit too old to be spending their summers practising their ninja skills and Grandpa Mori knows he will soon loose them to the appeal of girls and probably inexpensive soft drugs. Young Tum Tum skill shows heart though, but is that enough? Anyway, for Tom Tom's birthday, they all go to theme park Mega Mountain to see television star Dave Dragon in a live appearance. However when terrorists seize control of the park and demand $10 million or they will start causing accidents among the customers. With the gates locked down and no help on the way, the boys find themselves calling on their ninja skills after all.OK, I wasn't expecting this to be Die Hard but I was genuinely surprised to find out what passes as kids' entertainment in the eyes of some makers. I had to check IMDb during it to find out if it was a TVM or not and again was shocked to learn that this made it into cinemas, yes, cinemas. It actually got released and was shown to a paying public as opposed to just let out on television. Personally I do not have an issue with the idea behind the film because kids will always love to see their peers beating adults. I'm sure many parents will have concerns about letting their children watch something with lots of fighting and kicking in case they imitate it, but I'll leave those concerns to them (even if I do agree with them). So in theory this should be a silly and fun martial arts film for children.However this is so cheap - lacking originality, effort and fun that I did wonder if the audience didn't deserve something better than this. The mixed group watching this on a lazy afternoon hardly let out a chuckle or any sign of enjoyment. The martial arts action did show that the movement is well done but that is about it. I expected the plot to be daft but it is daft to the point of being painful and it just felt churned out like a bad panto – the basics with little for kids and nothing at all for adults.The cast are roundly poor although this was almost always going to be a given. The kids can't act to save their lives even if they move well. Botuchis is unconvincing, Roeske is unbearably saccharine while O'Laskey looks absurd with one of the worse haircuts I have ever seen. Hogan looks so cheap that his wrestling days look like Shakespeare in the Park as a result – he is terrible and really should have more dignity about him than this. Anderson is poor and given little support by Jim Varney. Wong's last film on earth? Shame. McNamara's direction is TVM standard at best and the cheap incidental music just makes it all feel worse still.Overall, a popular one for inclusion in the bottom 100 on this site and it is indeed rubbish but it didn't have to be. The idea could have been fun if done properly but it is cheaply delivered in every regard and lacks any sense of fun, wit or imagination, leaving it feeling like it has been churned out as part of a money making process without a care for the audience (which, on this evidence, it exactly what happened).