When reviewing Top Gear USA (TGUSA) I said that watching that show was like chewing gum that's already been chewed and stuck under a bench in the New York Grand Central Station for an year.What TGUSA lacks in every department, Top Gear Australia (TGA) makes up with wit and chemistry that is only second to that of the Top Gear UK (TGUK) cast.The first few episodes were a bit shaky with that old guy and the guy with the Village-People-moustache, but after 2 seasons and some reshuffling I think they have come up with a setup that totally has potential.Unlike in the USA, they actually have "wilderness" and "unexplored land" in Australia, which have been shown to be good sources for driving challenges, and some of the segments were original - like driving a V8 touring car in city streets and driving tiny three wheeled cars into a safari park (ok, TGUK did a similar one too - but the UK cast didn't get surrounded by lions or charged by a mommy-rhino or get crapped on by monkeys with red asses!!!) Also, the seal of approval for the TGA was given by the TGUK in the "Top Gear Ashes" episode...So, hope for promising future for this show.

The basic concept of Top Gear is to talk about cars in an entertaining way that attracts even those who know nothing about cars. The hosts are the ones who make the often rather boring car stuff funny and interesting, and it is for this reason that the Australian version fails. Charlie, Steve and Warren are pale imitations of their British counterparts.The ideas are OK, testing utes in a mine for example was a good use of the Australian setting. But the problem is that the presenters just aren't funny. Their jokes feel forced and consistently fall flat. Warren is like that old moustached uncle whose history lessons and bad jokes you try to avoid at Christmas. Charlie tries to be the elitist arrogant version of Jeremy Clarkson but lacks the same biting wit. Steve at least seems to have expertise as a driver and as the youngest, is the most appealing. But he's not that funny either.The British version succeeds because the banter between the hosts feels natural and the situations (although often set up or scripted) are believable. This is not the case in the Australian version. Take for example tonight's episode where Warren "randomly" stops mid-trip to look in an antique shop. Comically, the other hosts drive off. It didn't look spontaneous, it looked contrived.Fans of the original will be disappointed.

It's not often one can think of nothing nice to say, but this is one of those times. BBC took a great show with genuine characters and turned it into this no-hoper, tragic wanna-be, poor mongrel cousin. Instead of witty banter, we get the falsetto "please shut the hell up or I will throw myself off the gap" Steve Pasati. Not to be out done, we aimed for the quick witted Jeremy Clarkson and got this annoying pratt (who is more like that awful Tiff Needle from the OTHER motoring show). If he tells us one more time how great a driver he is and how long he has been doing it professionally, I am going to hunt him down and glue his lips to his exhaust pipe and run his motor at 70,000 million revs or until he bursts or the engine flys apart in sympathy, whichever is sooner. Lastly, where the hell did they get the night club bouncer from? The puerile comments are meant to echo those of the British trio, but for the most part is just silly. The tests are boring and the challenges look ridiculous. NEVER try and imitate something like this which relies so heavily on personality. I wonder if the same idiot who thought this was a good idea also sold "Kath and Kim" to the seppos? Whoever it is needs shooting then drawing and quartering then shooting again then burying in a bog to be dug up again in a few gajillion years as peat to then be thrown on a fire and toasted til golden brown. At least then you might have something slightly useful. The worst bit is that if they weren't trying to be someone else, it might have had half a chance. Get new sets, new scripts and new presenters and try it again, better still DON'T! Just watch the British version and chalk this up to a dreadful nightmare. YUK!

Gad, what an abomination. They hold an open casting call, creating the impression they're actually looking for good presenters, and instead they overlook all presenting ability and go for 3 dreary motoring columnists with all the wit and charm of Peter Lorre and all the dashing good looks of George Formby. Where was the humour? All we got was three ill-at-ease middle aged twits with no personality hooning around on some sand dunes, pretending to enjoy themselves and guffawing hysterically at every whimsical comment. How about Charlie explaining the technical details of a car's transmission by doodling a diagram in the dirt? I mean really, does your average Top Gear fan give a Peter Luck how the car works? And what exactly was the point of the shark stunt, and what did it have to do with cars?? About the only joke I can recall from the entire show was some nauseatingly unfunny quip about Victoria Police "busting a cap in someone's ass", which was followed by a round of self-congratulation and an appeal to the bemused audience for applause. Oh and of course there was the obligatory attempt to imitate some of Clarkson's outspokenness, by taking a cheap and unfunny shot at the government over their luxury car tax.Maybe if they'd tried to do something a bit different, rather than just imitating all the personality traits of the original hosts, it might not have looked so bad. As it is, they look like really bad Cliff Richard impersonators in an Elvis impersonator's competition. The bloke who plays Richard Hammond, Steve Pizzati, got on my nerves too. I can only imagine how grating that whiny soprano and irritating cackle will be by the end of the series.I was actually considering auditioning for the James May role when they had the casting call, but I wouldn't have gotten it as I'm way too funny.I'm sure the BBC execs are sharpening their axe as I type. It's rather amusing that the only original segment was titled What Were They Thinking, as it summed up my reaction to the BBC's decision to commission this steaming pile.