A PG-rated horror film is unlikely to satisfy a fan of the genre-- especially if it's pretentiously written, poorly acted, and has costumes and sets that look deeply unnatural.The plot involves the abduction of four young women off the streets of Manila. They are brought by boat to the jungle home of a cult that worships a talking severed head in a glass jar filled with red liquid. I think the head's name is Raul, but it was hard to make out. And I wasn't about to watch a moment of this thing twice!The cult needs the blood of young women to make an elixir that keeps them eternally young. There's a catch, though: the "blood donors" soon lose their youth and beauty, and are kept imprisoned in a rat- filled cave. Long story short, the women escape the cult with the help of its high priest, Baru, who looks like Sergio Franchi and wears a cape a la Dr. Strange. However, when Baru crosses the "Ring of Age," he gets old quickly. I don't mean he's boring--I mean, he literally gets old quickly and dies.Its low-budget look offers the perfect opportunity for camp, but the film is played completely straight. There's no action to speak of, the pacing is glacial, the cave mock-ups are clearly paper mache, the dialogue does not sound like natural speech, the acting is at grade-school-play level, and the score features the same few pieces over and over again.The so-called "special" effects include a leaf that magically closes wounds, the cutting of a woman's neck for blood to make the elixir, the cult's head-in-a-box deity, and Baru's not-rapid-enough aging. Aside from beautiful, scantily-clad young women in bikinis, there's nothing to recommend THE THIRSTY DEAD to anyone except hardcore fans of this bilge water.

I read reviews on this movie stating that it's reminiscent of the original Star Trek TV series - then I watched the film and they aren't kidding. The entire film feels like Kirk and Spock will show up at any given moment. That's not necessarily a bad thing but it doesn't give the film an original feel or overall look.As far as the story goes - it's strange too. 4 women are kidnapped and taken to an island by a man named Baru and Ranu. The 4 women are relaxed generally speaking - minus one, Laura, and she just seems a little bit nervous but not in a panic over being kidnapped and held captive. Human sacrifices are necessary for the cult on the island to survive - to live forever on fresh human blood.The movie is a mild horror film - it's not bloody, no language concerns and no nudity.It's an OK film - it's not great but it's mildly entertaining in an odd sort of way.4/10

Shot in the Philippines, Z-grade horror The Thirsty Dead opens with voluptuous go-go dancer Claire (Judith McConnell) gyrating wildly in a cage as drunken sailors ogle admiringly. Shortly after her entertaining routine, the woman is abducted by hooded assailants, and the film goes rapidly downhill from thereon in.Together with three other women—blonde beauty Ann (Fredricka Meyers), Filipino cutie Bonnie (Chiqui da Rosa), and Laura (Jennifer Billingsley), who ain't so attractive—Claire is transported to the remote jungle headquarters of a strange cult who drink a potion consisting of human blood and leaves that keeps them eternally young. Imprisoned in a papier-mâché cave, the girls are forced to wear sexy bikinis and are drugged for the bleeding ritual, all except for Laura, who is given the opportunity to enjoy immortality thanks to her resemblance to a painting by cult member Baru (John Considine). However, Laura isn't wild on the idea of eternity in a cave and refuses to drink the potion; together with the other three girls, she makes a bid for freedom.As attractive as Claire, Ann and Bonnie are in their skimpy get-ups, The Thirsty Dead is still extremely hard going, a dreadfully sluggish pace, boring dialogue, a distinct lack of action, wooden performances, and lousy production values all taking their toll on the viewer. Not-so-special effects include the slicing of one of the girl's neck with a knife and the subsequent healing of the wound using a special leaf, a disembodied living head in a glass box (around which bucktoothed cult priestess Ranu, played by Tani Guthrie, does a tribal dance), and the rapid ageing of Baru as he goes beyond the cult's 'Ring of Age' in a bid to help the women escape (after a surprising change of heart).

Four lovely young ladies are kidnapped off the streets of Manila, and are taken to a remote jungle location. Here they find out that they're supposed to supply a primitive tribe with the all-important blood that the tribe needs to maintain their youthful appearance. They fixate on one of the quartet, a stewardess named Laura (Jennifer Billingsley), who resembles a portrait in their possession, and intend to make her one of their own. Only, a tribe member named Baru (John Considine) falls in love with her and takes sympathy on her and her fellow abductees. While not altogether terrible, this is incredibly silly stuff, with dialogue spoken by Baru and tribe leader Ranu (Tani Guthrie) that may strike the viewer as being hilariously ridiculous. The principal problem with this thing is that it lacks humour, and is also a PG rated exploitation / schlock genre piece, meaning there is not going to be enough depravity, profanity, violence, and nudity to satisfy most trash lovers. Also, the direction by Terry Becker lacks any sense of style. The pacing is much too sluggish; it could have been sped up, to make the movie more fun, and there really should have been more action and not just talk. In any event, it's worth it to see the level of 1970s era cheese on display ("The Thirsty Dead" does have an adequate "late show" sort of appeal), right down to some absurd costumes. Get a load of those collars! A climactic ageing scene, using the old fashioned time lapse technique, is a mild highlight. Billingsley is much too stiff in the lead role, but she is a looker, as are her three co-stars - Judith McConnell as Claire, Fredricka Meyers as Ann, and Chiqui da Rosa as Bonnie. They make for fine scenery attractions in their skimpy outfits. McConnell delivers the standout performance in this thing as the go-go dancer who would be perfectly happy to change places with Laura, although Considine is remarkably sincere, giving his role lots of gravitas for such a silly movie. Frequent Filipino cinema performers Ken Metcalfe and Vic Diaz appear fleetingly, and the story really would have been better off had Diaz had more scenes. "The Thirsty Dead" is immediately forgettable in the end, but if one is a forgiving and easy enough to please fan of Filipino made schlock, they might find this modestly entertaining. Five out of 10.