First, you don't believe.Maybe you had some wine(a lot of wine),or some improper food. Second, you realize,since you hadn't wine or food, that must be something else. Third, after you became aware that must be the so called movie(?), you say goodbye to life and slash your veins with a more or less sharp stone.Please don't stay close to this....THING.It's worst then spit in your food or beat your lovely grandmother to death!Now i'm just typing to achieve the minimum lines of text necessary to have this published. By the way this is worst then death,because it could happen twice if you are distracted...

I was watching The Movie Channel last night and I stumbled upon this title: The Thing Below. Sounded like a good movie because I'm in to horror and gore. The very first time I saw the visual effects and horribly lame acting, I asked myself: WHAT THE @#$% AM I LOOKING AT?!?!? I kid you not this movie has some of the most cheesiest visual effects and acting. If anyone reads this and decides to waste their 94 minutes on a piece of crap like this, then copy everyone's reviews from this movie and read them while you're watching it. In my honest opinion, even Uwe Boll could of done it better. Don't waste your precious time on something that could've had more time put into it.

"The Thing Below" is a really weak creature feature with a few good moments about it.**SPOILERS**After disappearing in a colossal storm, a rescue team, lead by Capt. Jack Griffin, (Billy Warlock) and his staff Crank Wowchowski, (Kurt Max Runte) Anna Davis, (Catherine Lough Haggquist) Dixon, (Colin Lawrence) Cassidy, (Warren Christie) Mel Rodgers, (Kiara Hunter) and Bobby Gibbons, (David Richmond-Peck) are accompanied by Dean Rieser, (Peter Graham-Gaudreau) to find and retrieve it's cargo. Arriving at their oil rig destination, they find it abandoned and completely trashed despite experiments all throughout the floors. Finding the rest of the facility in the same shape, they discover that a drilling operation to remove a meteorite from around the Earth's core had actually contained an alien creature, and it has the ability to telepathically read victim's thoughts to lay a trap for them. With the team dwindling down, they race against to time to stop the creature from escaping the rig before they all it kills them all.The Good News: This film has a couple of things going for it. One of the biggest factors is it's really high body count, which is made up of several huge massacres in the film. From the opening wipe-out of an entire ship, along with another one later on and the ensuing massacre of the ship of the characters, this has a pretty big kill count. We also get a couple of really good ones as well, including a tentacle impaling a victim in the stomach and coming out the mouth, a tentacle wrapped around the head and crushing it, being completely covered in tentacles, and the best, where a victim is swarmed by the tentacles, enough to appear later as having his lower half below the waist appear to be a writhing mass of tentacles. When the creature begins to use illusions to get to it's prey, this shows off the main part of the movie that shows any energy, where one woman starts to strip and do a dance while fire goes off around her. Using oil as well, it's quite exotic and manages to become incredibly memorable. This also has a couple of really great suspense scenes, including an outstanding sequence where a team member is taunted by off-screen noises inside a dim hallway. As he's concentrating on another task, the voices keep being heard, and when turning around to check them, only a dark hallway with an ethereal fog off in the distance. As the voices continue, it leads a very big suspense scene to the film. It does have a few good moments in it.The Bad News: This is one of the most lackluster creature features ever. One of the biggest issues is with the titular creature. We're told multiple times that it's so radioactive it exerts one hundred times the radiation needed to kill a man, yet nothing ever comes of it other than lip service. Despite the fact that it's mentioned three or four times in the film, it never, ever, ever comes into play. This is shown in the one instance where it automatically throws it out the window. What's the natural step to take in order to get it to whatever secret government facility it needs to wind up at? Yeah, just as you thought, they picked a ship. Naturally the crew encounters rough ocean waters, and when the scientists aboard the ship decide to move the glass-encased specimen, they drop it. Instead of them all dying of radiation poisoning, they are all attacked by the creature, right after it was mentioned that the creature was radioactive. It's quite weird why that would be so. One of the film's other big problems is that it's a quite confusing most of the time. It's funny how these characters don't find it the least bit strange that these things materialize aboard a deserted drilling platform in the middle of the ocean. None of them act as it's quite strange to see the creature illusions and react to them with an air of lust. This is quite distressing to see. Of course, the creature's actions are no better. It can read minds to create it's illusions, but it can only do that from close range. And the only reason it creates illusions is so it can kill. So if it's close enough to kill in the first place without the illusions, why doesn't it just do that? This is quite unexplainable and hard to believe. Even harder to understand is the change of the creature. When we first see it, it's a small, snake-like tentacle. Later on, it's a whole bunch of tentacles. Much later, we see a character attacked by something resembling an insectoid octopus. After that, it's back to being a tentacle again. By the film's climax, it's a whole bunch of giant tentacles. So what exactly is this thing? An alien tentacle? A bunch of alien tentacles? Is it just an appendage of a larger creature or is it just a psychic alien tentacle? How does it keep multiplying and changing size throughout the movie? None of them are explained or hinted at, and it's quite frustrating, as all are possible. It's most grievous sin is that it might be the worst looking CGI possible. There's no way to describe how bad this looks, and it might inspire fits of laughter when viewed. These all conspire to knock this film down.The Final Verdict: While it's not all that bad, it's still not one of the greatest creature features ever made. It's got too many problems and has only a few good parts to really be of interest to those who love the cheesy creature features it's playing off of or in the mood for a bad movie marathon.Rated R: Graphic Language, Violence and Nudity

I am writing this review to warm others about this film. This is one of the worst movies I have ever seen. Do not waste your time. As a friend of IMDb and my fellow movie commentators, I am sure that if this ever made it to the cinema, it flopped and the makers got rich from the 'bad movie' insurance because the box office receipts could not have exceeded fifty bucks. I am surprised the makers weren't picketed. The CG was just plain awful. There are scarier monsters in Super Mario from Nintendo. Don't even try to put this junk in the league with Leviathon, Deep Star Six, Deep Rising etc. which I would rate as pretty good 'B' films. It just may be worse than 'Plan 9 from Outer Space'. If I mentioned any details, I may be accused of adding a spoiler, but I won't even waste my and your time 'cause this flick is not spoiled, it is rotten to the core. The concept, even though played so many times and to a much higher level of sophistication, may have been OK with much improved CG, dropping the nudie scene, and a script re-write.Don't even waste your time unless you just want to take a peek for curiosity sake. If you do more than peek and hang to the end, I hate to say it, but you gotta get out more.