Shoreline entertainment, a company that regularly produces creature features yet can't get a commission from Syfy after yet, despite even The Asylum being commissioned to produce Syfy creature features, brings us another creature feature of roughly the quality implied by the description I just gave.They've produced films like "Parasite" and "Stinger", they're distributed nonsense like "Blood Predator" and "Pray for Morning". Now there's this.People find themselves in an underground building, without memories of how they got there and with super soldier rejects chasing after them; super soldiers that are afraid of light sometimes.From there, well, its another alien clone type movie except for being much less competent than most. Considering how many Alien clones there actually are that's not exactly a good thing. But as an example, an older man is hanging by a rope. Other people try pulling him up and if you blink you'll miss when they drop the rope. Presumably the hanging man fell then since that character might not be mentioned again. If he was, well, see previous comment about his initial "fall".But when a movie starts off with armed men staring blankly at masked invaders who promptly shoot them, well, you should know what you're about to watch isn't too likely to be great. Or tolerable.

The Shadow Walkers starts as a small number of scientists & security personal wake up in the depths of the Medicorp Genetic Containment Facility, at first they have no idea who they are or what they doing there except Dr. Clay (Clay Adams) who seems to have all the answers. The assorted group of Medicorp employees quickly realise that they are not alone as the genetic mutant creatures created by them for the US military are on the loose & hungry for blood. They need to stick together to find a way out before they are either killed or turned into genetic monsters themselves...Directed by Mark Steven Grove this is yet another horrible, poorly made shot on a camcorder & edited on a PC zero budget horror film that is quite literally painful to sit through. The script by Dave Hodel takes basic concepts & ideas from Aliens (1986) & adds a whole lot of Resident Evil (2002) & throws a little bit of Night of the Living Dead (1968) into the mix as well. The whole film is a very predictable & by-the-numbers genetic monsters hunt & kill small group of humans in isolated location for no particular reason other than they are 'monsters' type scenario. The character's are awful, are we supposed to believe that a bunch of teenagers were in fact hired by the US Government as genetic experts to create super soldiers? I'm sorry but since when did you see a 19 year old genetic scientist? I would have though genetic scientists, doctors & experts would have been at least out of their teens. When's the last time you saw a fully qualified doctor who was in their teens? It's a very complicated job which requires years of training & experience. If three 19 year old kids came to you & claimed they were highly qualified & experienced genetic scientists would you believe them? Then there's the awful story, it is never explained why the group wake up with no memory of who they are, how Clay survives an attack & doesn't turn into a monster like everyone else, if the US military wanted to keep everything underground in the Genetic Containment Facility why was the hatch to the outside left unlocked so anyone or anything could just freely walk out & there are various annoying flashbacks too. At almost 100 minutes it goes on for too long, it's boring, it's predictable & the majority of the film is nothing more than teenagers running around very dark corridors.Director Grove doesn't do anything to make The Shadow Walkers any more bearable, every so often the film goes from horror to karate as whenever a genetic monster attacks it usually ends up having a martial arts fight with one of the human cast members. There's no scares & no atmosphere, maybe the makers felt that simply by shooting the film in really dark locations so you can't hardly see anything would create a atmosphere. It doesn't, it just annoys. The gore is minimal, there's some fake blood splatter, someone has his arm ripped off, a monster is impaled on a pipe & very little else. The special effects are far from impressive either, the monster mask make-up effects are poor & cheap looking.Technically the film is poor & looks every bit as cheap as it was. The locations look like car parks & maintenance tunnels, they are very repetitive & dull looking as well as being very poorly lit & shot. The acting is poor from no-one you have ever heard of.The Shadow Walkers is a rubbish predictable low budget horror with a terrible story that doesn't make much sense & has plenty of holes in it, it has really dark photography so you can barely see what's happening half the time & it has an unforgivable lack of decent horror or gore. I really can't see anyone paying good money for The Shadow Walkers & actually enjoying it.

This movie is probably the worst movie I have ever seen. I mean there's a ton of other bad movies out there but this beats them all. Its actually considered a comedy because the acting is so bad and the make up and special effects. Its a lot of fun though to sit through it and laugh a lot. There's the funniest scream in the movie too. They play it twice. Watch this movie if you're looking to make great inside jokes with friends or family or if you just want to hear the greatest scream of all time. The actors probably deserve an award of some kind for being some of the worst out there. Don't let the cover to this movie fool you. Or the description because you'll be jipped for sure.

That about sums it up, so rather than really reviewing much more, here are the high (low?) points:In the stolen plot devices category: 1) Chemical gas knocking out genetics lab employees (who wake up with temporary memory loss): Resident Evil2) Tedious dance across thin object bridging an abyssal drop while evading or escaping: The Poseidon Adventure (new one), The Fellowship of the Ring, most any action film with an elevator scene, and many others... (take your pick).3) Immense facility to provide perfect settings for zombie confrontations and on which the world's safety from pandemic tragedy relies on containment of said facility: (entire Resident Evil franchise).4) Somewhat sentient zombie-like antagonists that have very human memories and abilities, but still want to kill everyone: Every poorly-done A-Team variety zombie film ever made.Other random poorly conceived or implemented ideas:1) Doctor or Lab tech (white coat staff) wearing fishnet top.2) General Death Star-like abyss of a "Genetic Containment Unit".3) Blatantly stealing "You are one ugly Mother..." from Predator.4) Having a survivor maintain a fist-fight with an obviously superior "infected" (or whatever you want to call it) mutated human who's saliva would only infect the survivor as he hits it.5) Adding generic porn-film quality soundtrack by an 80's soundtrack band in an attempt to sound like Slipknot in Resident Evil or somehow appeal to a younger party crowd.6) The very much cliché idea that Big Bad (not to mention always bungling) "Military Industrial Complex" is of course responsible for the inevitable mess of genetically engineered zombie hordes every time.7) Use of the word "Prion" in the script in an attempt to impart some sense of intelligence or scientific reasoning.8) Adding the genetic mutation of fangs and long, sharp claws to the film's antagonists, only to have them very carefully avoid using them in nearly attack every scene (presumably to avoid having to have makeup/effects re-apply them when they pop off/out).