The Roller Blade Seven (1991) is the most "nothing" movie i've ever seen. I mean, the popcorn i was eating had more substance. First off the plot is well, there really isn't a plot. You go from one scene to another without any sort of idea where the characters are, sometimes who they are and their motivations. For the most part, the main character has a motivation but even that gets rather sketchy in this fever dream of a movie. Characters show up for "reasons" and then go away for "reasons". It feels more like a LARP than anything else. Things just happen.The editing in this movie is horrible. Absolutely awful. Shots hang on way too long, some of them only confuse the scenes further. The action scenes are like those home movies where you'd film your two kids fighting with cardboard tubes except they have rollerblades on and are dressed up for Halloween.There isn't even a script, the excuse for that is that it's a "new" kind of film-making, Zen Film-making. I dunno about you, but having a script is the very basis for creating a movie without making it a incoherent mess.For that reason, it barely even qualifies as a movie. It is just hardly anything.Great for watching with LSD though, i bet.

I am always amused when anonymous reviewers attempt to criticizes actors and filmmakers here at IMDb.com. Most of the time I simply read the reviews and chuckle. But, in regard to this film I feel like I really need to put in my two cents because it seems that most of the reviewers are either missing the point of this film or simply want to attack the filmmakers (for whatever reason).First of all, I am grad film student at U.S.C. In one of my classes we went through the three films associated with the project, THE ROLLER BLADE SEVEN, RETURN OF THE ROLLER BLADE SEVEN, and LEGEND OF THE ROLLER BLADE SEVEN, frame by frame. So, I believe I know these films as well as anyone, expect maybe the filmmaker, could know them. And, 'Yes,' I have gone to both Scott Shaw's and Donald G. Jackson's websites and have read what they have had to say about these films. What I have to say is that they accomplished exactly what they set out to do; to make a completely nontraditional, art based, film. Now, I am not saying this is the greatest film every. What I am saying, however, is that the filmmakers used every element at their disposable to, as they put it, 'Push the envelope,' of film-making. If you look at what Donald G. Jackson and Scott Shaw accomplished in this film, with out any of the computer technology which became available after this film was made, they did one hell of a great job. The camera work is great, the editing is great, the story line, (or lack of one), is also great. What I think they really accomplished is to be the first to bring an MTV style of edit to a full length feature film. Or, three in this case.Not only are these films visually inspirational, but they brought together a great cast. I mean look at the acting careers of Karen Black, Don Stroud, and William Smith. If actors of that caliber embraced this film, how is a person who has no background in either acting or film-making qualified to criticize it. I mean you may not like Indy Art Films, but a Scott Shaw says on his website, 'You may not like the art of Picasso but you can not say it is not art!'There are a lot of reviewers who claim they could make a better film. As I always say to people who make this claim, 'Let's see it.' I briefly met both Scott Shaw and Donald G. Jackson when they gave a lecture at the DGA, Director's Guild of America, a couple of years ago. They were both very nice men and have held true to their ideal of pushing the boundaries of traditional film-making. I believe they are both an inspiration and the nonsensical criticism of this film should cease. People should open their eyes and see this movie for what it is, an inspiration to Indy Filmmaker that you can make a nontraditional film and push the boundaries of the accepted and the expected.

It was (foolishly) with some degree of relish that I sat down to watch what a friend had promised would be the worst/best movie experience of my life, the mighty 'Roller blade 7'. 2 years on and I'm still in therapy. Oh yes my dear friends it REALLY IS THAT BAD. They obviously got about 40 minutes of footage in the can and then decided to use said footage endlessly and repeatedly to brain-numbing effect. My only fear of the kind of post-apocalyptic world featured in this turkey is that somehow, some way, a print of this abomination would survive. Truly the living would envy the dead.

I knew that I was not about to see a quality film when this title was included in a 'B-grade video night' at a friends place. Despite the warnings, I was still surprised at just how bad this film was. It was fortunate that there were a lot of us there to share the pain with each other... The film attempts to tell the story of a dark future, one in which Hawk (a Mad Max type of character) heads off to rescue a damsel in distress. In reality, the plot is a thinly disguised excuse for the producers to promote their own philosophies on life (watch the end credits and the 'these people are not real' disclaimer at the end for a real laugh). The movie is frequently lacking direction, and fails to develop its characters to any degree whatsoever. What's even worse though is the editing of this film. The film repeats scenes (often 10 to 20 seconds long) up to 4 or 5 times in a row. I think that this was an attempt to emulate things like Jean Claude Van-Damme fight sequences, but if it is it fails utterly. The film would probably be about 1/3 of its length if we weren't forced to watch the main character move his head in front of the setting sun half a dozen times (yes, that's all that happens in that repeated scene). I give this movie my 'worst film I've ever seen' award. I doubt that it will be topped any time soon.