The Nurse in the Military Madhouse
The Nurse in the Military Madhouse
| 12 December 1979 (USA)
The Nurse in the Military Madhouse Trailers

A story about a singer/showgirl who poses as a nurse to recover some stolen paintings, which for some reason are hidden in a military insane asylum.

Reviews
lazarillo

When it came to low-brow Italian sex comedy, Nadia Cassini was probably the third most famous actress in 1970's Italy after Edwige Fenech and Gloria Guida. But unlike with the other two, none of her movies has yet received a legitimate English-language DVD release. Physically, the three actresses were quite different--Fenech was big-breasted and voluptuous, Guida was a petulant Lolita, while Cassina had a lithesome dancer's body (she, unfortunately, does one horrid disco song and dance number here)--but what they all had in common though was an ability to constantly lose their clothing and drive men everywhere mad with lust. In this film, Cassini is a singer/showgirl who poses as a nurse to recover some stolen paintings, which for some reason are hidden in a military insane asylum.Lino Banfi (who else?) plays the head doctor. He's hot to get in the new nurse's panties because his own wife (Nieves Navarro) is both frigid and perpetually naked. (He tries to give her a Chinese aphrodisiac at one point, but his plan goes awry and he ends up being cuckolded bothby Alvaro Vitali and a delivery boy who's even more unattractive than Vitali or Banfi). Vitali, wearing an afro fright-wig, plays a painter who I think is one of the patients, but he is somehow able nevertheless to land Carmen Russo (a real-life Italian version of "Jessica Rabbit") as his "nude model". (I think this movie sets some kind of record for casting really hot women and really ugly guys). Rounding out the cast is future porn star Karin Schubert as the mistress of Cassini's art thief employer.All the women in this movie get naked, natch, but unfortunately so does Banfi. The director Mariano Laurenti was less talented than more well-known Italian comedy directors like Sergio Martino or Pasquale Campanile Festa, but, on the other hand, he was definitely better than Michele Tarantini or some of the other hacks who worked in the genre. As these movies, go this is pretty average. It might be worth seeing simply for the frequently unclad female cast. And the comedy, while not very funny, is not as annoying as it could be.

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Chip_douglas

While the title may have you think this is another 'military nurse chased by horny soldiers' type comedy, it actually takes place in a rest-home for people with personality disorders, so in this case the inhabitants only think they are in the military. We first meet an Italian General, followed by Nazi Field Marshal and, inevitably, Napoleon himself. Other inmates include a trumpeter (very handy with all those high ranking military men), a big game hunter, a painter, a midget boxer and an old broad who thinks she's Ginger Roger. Lino Banfi plays head of staff Amedeo La Russa and plays along with each of those nutty fruitcakes, so he can get close enough to give them their medicine. At the gate stands Jimi Il Fenomeno, who is on the verge of losing his marbles himself.In a mostly unrelated part of the plot, Full time club owner and part time gangster Johnny is convinced some valuable painting that once belonged to his mother have ended up amongst the loonies. So he sends the singer from his club (Nadia Cassini) under cover as a night nurse to find them. Naturaly, as Nurse Grazia, Nadia soon has both the staff and the patients after her perfectly rounded tush (but don't despair ladies, Lino Banfi bares his big fat behind too!). Confusingly, Grazia finds herself working the day shift too, and still finds time to perform at the club (dancing with four unbelievably camp 'Rugby players').Meanwhile still, when Prof Amedeo is not dreaming about Nadia, he is trying to get his "three star refrigerator" wife (Susan Scott) to unfreeze with the help of special Chinese medicine. The pills do their stuff, but because of his own incompetence and extreme clumsiness (I soon lost count of how many times Banfi hits his head or any other body part in this film), she ends up with the curly wigged artist (Alvaro Vitali) or the squeaky voiced delivery boy (Lucio Montanaro) instead. Come to think of it, this movie really breaks new ground in this department: normally Vitali and Montanaro never get any!Also making an appearance is Karin Shubert as the Gangster's moll and Carmen Russo has a bit part one of Vitali's models. After a side trip to the beach that mainly serves to show Cassini in the tiniest bikini imaginable, the plot involving the paintings is wrapped up by an uneventful car chase thats hardly worth the name and a declaration of love that comes out of nowhere. Oh yes and of instead of any of the patients being cured, a new inhabitant is added to the mad house at the end.7 out of 10

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VincentElgar

This lame-brained comedy (which I saw under the title 'Nurse at the Military Madhouse') is set in a military psychiatric hospital and makes the Three Stoodges look like high-grade intellectual fare. Much of the comedy is pure low-grade slapstick - doors slammed in faces, people tripping over buckets of water or being punched in the privates ... you get the idea. The 'story' such as it is, involves some valuable paintings hidden in the hospital.Nadia Cassini performs an embarrassingly awful song 'n' dance number about halfway through. She is admittedly easily on the eye - as is former giallo queen Nieves Navarro (billed here as Susan Scott)who contributes a couple of fairly unsexy (for her) nude scenes. Even so, these provide the only possible reason for watching this strange little movie.

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