This absolutely cheap, shot-on-video outing has little enough enterprise to merit a non-bottom rating, but there's the occasional directorial flourish to warrant a slightly higher score. Director Patrick Mathews knows for sure that he's making a turkey, so he attempts to throw in as much referencing and low brow humour as possible, as well as a couple of stylistic touches – I love the 'room spinning out of control' camera shot which betrays the leading character's deepening insanity.Although the title and plot description make this sound like a gross movie, all we see are a few shots of the lead sitting around picking his nose – that's it. The rest of the story sees him transformed into a girl (no, no special effects or nudity here – for an exploitation film this sure is low on exploitation values) and then bumping off a series of high school teenagers as he gradually loses his sanity.Brief gore comes from shots of our killer eating flesh from the girls he's killed, and the best special effects are when a girl's fingers are chopped off and a transvestite prostitute has his throat slit. Otherwise things are pretty boring, with bad acting all around – although I can't help but kind of liking the main guy – and the only person coming across as half professional is the detective. Add to this a lame twist ending, completely inept music, and a total lack of plot focus and pacing, and you have one bizarre, boring film.

Haven't watched it yet, but I give it 10 stars. As if you don't know by the title that it's going to be excellent cinema.It's about a guy who pick boogers. And kills. Also, he kills. And picks boogers. He finds these boogers up his nose. In the nostril. He also wears girl's clothes. Not clear if he finds those in his nostril as well. But anyway, he dresses in girl's clothes, picks boogers, and kills. Oh, and there's a transvestite.There may be more to the story, but it is probably useless filler that adds nothing to the story. He may meet a rival nostril picker. And they might have a pick off. Wouldn't that be neat ? Anyway, have plenty of tissue handy. I expect a tear-jerker twist at the end.

Someone must have been seriously joking when they made this film.Firstly, it is an absolute impossibility that this movie was made in 1993. The fashions and music dictate that this is seriously 80's. My guess is that this has sat on the shelf for a long while before some crazed distributer picked it up and released it to a disbelieving world.There is a plot. Kind of. A strange loner meets a random man with a beard who tells him that if he meditates while singing his favourite song he will be able to turn into whomever he chooses. At this point I feel obliged to point out that the loner's favourite song is London Bridge Is Falling Down. Why is this his favourite song? Because he's an idiot. We are only a minute into the film and already the film has reached a monumental level of stupidity. It gets even stupider.The loner is the nostril picker. I can only assume this as there are two scenes in the film where he is seen picking his nose. That clears up the title. He decides to change into a girl so that he can get close to other girls. And kill them. That's more or less it.The acting is universally appalling. Every single performance in this movie sucks. In fact, I would go so far as to say that the acting is of the standard of a pornographic movie. It really is that terrible. The nostril picker appears to the audience as the nostril picker. The characters in the movie see him as the girl he has become through singing London Bridge Is Falling Down. Man, I feel like an idiot even typing this. Anyway, it is kind of strange seeing a middle aged weirdo hanging out with school girls. And not in a good way. There is even an extended montage of scenes where the nostril picker is at school with the girls and a song plays over the top. It is very possibly the worst song ever recorded. I'm not even going to describe it. You'll know it when you hear it. And you'll agree with me.There are some scenes of violence, sure. And there is a Benny Hill style chase sequence involving a transsexual. There is even an immortal bit of dialogue, that may or may not have been taken from Shakespeare or John Milton, where the nostril picker says to a prostitute, 'I've got the cash if you've got the gash'. Lovely, I'm sure you'll agree.Utter nonsense.

I pride myself on being relatively open minded movie-wise, try not to prejudge films, and have a soft spot for low budget and b-grade genre movies, but folks, sometimes you just gotta draw the line! 'The Nostril Picker' is one of the most worthless movies I've ever had the misfortune to watch. Misleadingly packaged, it tries to give you the impression that it is "controversial" or "offensive". It isn't. Well it is offensive intellectually and aesthetically, but if you think you're gonna get a confrontational, boundary-pushing movie ala 'Salo', 'Nekromantik', 'Last House On The Left' or 'Pink Flamingos', you'll be in for a real shock! This is just a poorly made, embarrassingly acted, amateurish, so-called horror movie, which is so dumb it makes the current spate of teen comedies look like they were written by David Mamet. I don't know who Patrick J. Matthews is, but I rejoice that he has never set foot near a camera since this complete waste of time. This is as bad as it gets. 'The Nostril Picker' rivals gems like 'The Roller Blade Seven' and 'Art Deco Detective' for sheer awfulness. Avoid this movie at all costs!