Yes. Indeed. I have certainly seen some pretty stupid Hollywood movies in my days - But, believe me - When it comes to stepping over that line into pure preposterous asininity - I'd say that 1942's "The Major and the Minor" really takes first prize in my books.If you can just imagine for a minute a 30-year-old/full-figured woman trying to pass herself off as being only 11 (Yes! That's right! ELEVEN!!) - Then - I think you get a very clear picture of this film's completely contrived plot that (get this) eventually works its brain-dead story into a frickin' romance. (Spare me!)And, worst of all - This movie makes the males out to be the stupidest ones of all - With Major Philip Kirby being the biggest dumby of the lot - Accepting "Sue Sue" (in make-up and revealing cleavage) as a sweet, little tyke of only 11. (Ho-hum!)Anyway - Due to this whole aspect of age deception by the Susan Applegate character - "The Major and the Minor" clearly told me that it was giving an approving nod towards pedophilia... Tsk. Tsk.

The Major and the Minor is the kind of movie that holds up very, very well – and yet could never be made today. Know why? Because it's about a grown woman who pretends to be 12 years old (!) in order to pay only half fare to get home from NYC to Ohio and falls for a grown man along the way. That may sound innocent enough, but of course the grown man finds himself falling for the grown woman whom he believes is 12 years old. In hindsight, that's a little creepy.But here, it's not. This movie is hilarious. This was Billy Wilder's first movie as a director, and the faith placed in him by the studio – and the movie's stars, Ginger Rogers and Ray Milland – paid off handsomely. It's hard to believe now, but Wilder had already earned three Oscar nominations for writing before directing a single film. He wound up with a pretty decent career.Rogers plays Sue Applegate, a young lady trying to make a living in New York. Frustrated after a year in the big city, she decides to head back home; trouble is, the train fare has gone up by about $5, and our gal Sue doesn't have enough. So she gets this funny idea – she'll dress like a kid, complete with pigtails and a balloon, and pay only half fare. Sue's plans hit a major snag when she's found out by the conductor, and she hides in the compartment of one Major Kirby (Milland). Hilarity ensues when Kirby's fiancé finds Sue – known as Su-Su – with her betrothed, but soon all of that is cleared up and "Su-Su" must spend a few days with her friend the Major.Shenanigans ensue, as you might expect. The movie is witty and delightful, with some zingers zooming almost faster than one can process them. Rogers and Milland are at the top of their comedic game, too. Among the talented supporting cast are Robert Benchley ("My only regret is that I have but one wife to give for my country"), Diana Lynn as the fiancé's sister, and Rogers' own mother Lela, playing, yes, her mother.

A thirty-something Ginger Rogers has the impossible task of fooling all other characters in this film into believing she is a twelve-year-old kid. She gives a good performance and carries the film effortlessly, but you'd have to be blind to believe she was a pre-pubescent child. Some may get a kick out of seeing a grown woman wearing knee-high socks while carrying a balloon, but in this day and age they'll probably find more graphic ways of feeding their fetish.The script gets her into kids clothes by raising the cost of her train fare back home so that she can't afford the cost. Ginger hits on the idea of passing herself off as a kid so that she can travel half-price, but army Major Ray Milland takes her under his wing when she sneaks into his compartment to hide from suspicious conductors. The film starts pretty brightly with some amusing gags, but unaccountably loses its way once Ray and Ginger disembark from the train and the action is transferred to the military college at which he's stationed.This must have been pretty risky subject matter back in 1942, a fact borne out by the way that Milland's incipient attraction to 12-year-old Ginger is explained away by his 'bum eye.' At the end of the film he doesn't seem even remotely surprised to discover that the person he'd though was a gawky little girl is in truth a lush, full-bodied woman. Couldn't believe his luck, probably

Ginger Rogers pretends to be twelve-year-old Susu in order to save on train fair during the war. She's bunked in a compartment with Major Kirby, Ray Milland, who doesn't see through her disguise. He grows fond of her nonetheless and they stop off at a military academy for teen-aged boys where Milland is stationed for the moment. All the horny boys, thinking Rogers is their age, put moves on her. But she is finally undone when she runs into Robert Benchley, who remembers her from a hair salon or something. She escapes, her adult identity intact, and goes to her rural home. Still believing that Susu is only twelve, Milland visits her home and talks to Rogers, now disguised as her own mother. When she discovers that Milland hasn't gone through with a marriage he'd planned, she reveals herself, he twigs to everything, they clinch at the railroad station, cue the swelling romantic waltz, fade out.In its own bland way it's kind of funny -- dated, to be sure, but it has its amusing moments. (A cadet who has deserted his post for a date bops his way backwards into a room, only to find it filled with outraged superiors.) All those squeaky-voiced cadets illustrating the Blitzkrieg by insinuating their arms around Rogers. The teen-aged Diana Lynn who immediately sees through Rogers but becomes buddies with her and clams up.But it's mostly pretty tepid stuff by today's standards. There are smile-inducing awkward situations but not many tag lines or outrageous gags. Not many gags at all. Fred Astaire, it's been said, gave Ginger Rogers class and she gave him sex. It's true enough. But by the time this film appeared Rogers could no longer pass for twelve years old. She looked thirtyish, which she was. That's not a criticism of Rogers herself or of her performance. Nobody looks young forever except me.But think of how much more involving the movie would have been if there HAD been some succulent Hollywood dish who looked fundamentally mature but was actress enough to pull off the role of a young teen and who could LOOK it too. Only Ellen Page comes to mind but there must be others.And I suppose one couldn't expect too much in the way of outrageous humor, which would seem built into the script itself. The movie code and the contemporary audience might applaud multiple deaths and a panorama of pain on the screen but let us never see a grown man glance at a twelve-year-old knee.Billy Wilder, who co-wrote it with Charles Brackett, was given the directorial duties. He'd do much better with a latent status movie -- based on sex rather than age -- a little less than twenty years later with the superb "Some Like It Hot."