...standing on your head in a mud pitSpending a night in a tank full of venomous snakesKim Jong Un entertaining you with his holiday snapsHopping across America using the same legListening to an endless loop of President Trump's speeches.

A few castaways stumble through a supersaturated tropical landscape full of grotesque CGI-errors.From the beginning, the characters and their short and dumb dialogues are totally annoying.I caught myself wishing one or the other protagonists getting a final demise by digestion. But you even can't enjoy this without laughing heartily.No question, this Caprona-slating hardly has anything to do with the first movie, and even less with the novel.If you want to survive this film, I recommend not to take it seriously... right from the start. It has at least a few involuntary giggles, so it has something like entertainment value.Peace

There are worse movies than this, including within the "lost world" genre it is a part of. I suppose that is the most praise I can give the 2009 film adaptation of Edgar Rice Burroughs' "The Land That Time Forgot".While the previous 1975 film was by no means devoid of flaws, it has a charm that hasn't gone away despite recent prehistoric CGI-enhanced epics like the "Jurassic Park" films. Only the best films of the dinosaur/ lost world movie genre make you feel like you're a kid while watching them, and the '75 film is one of them. It does not possess the kind of technical wizardry of stop-motion classics like "One Million Years B.C." (1966) or "The Lost World" (1925), but it is a very fun movie that is a fairly faithful adaptation of the book (which I have read).The 2009 movie features shoddy CGI effects which make one miss the puppets and men in suits from the earlier film. The effects here are perhaps suitable as "previsualization" FX shots, but generally don't hold up to much scrutiny: the dinosaurs have extremely limited movement capability, and their skin and mouths look extremely fake. I think the best rendered-creatures were the giant dragonfly (cleverly filmed a good distance away from it) and carnivorous Pterodactyls, while generally the T-Rex was pretty hard on my eyes.The original film and book took place on a giant lost continent called Caprona; the interior was lush and tropical. The '75 film was shot at a variety of exotic locales including the Canary Islands, plus utilized Shepperton Studios to realize Caprona on the big screen. This film settles for dry Southern California, and takes significant detours from the original book and film- including no mention I can recall of "Caprona" itself.I don't feel anyone out of the cast particularly shined or slumped, but I do wish C. Thomas Howell had been able to anchor the movie more effectively. He makes a poor successor to Doug McClure, who was far more effective as a protagonist and was too macho to spend over half the movie looking worried or freaked out.There are certainly worse films out there, but this one is really only for fans of Z-grade cinema. Watch it with extremely low expectations and try to appreciate it in a "so bad it's good" kinda way, and you might have an OK time.

The 1975 version of Edgar Rice Burroughs' "The Land that Time Forgot" with Doug McClure featured lame puppet-type dinosaurs, but made up for it with well-developed characters and a huge subtext, which was surprising for such a seemingly simple story.This made-for-TV 2009 version changes everything and I'm sort of glad because we already have the original that followed Burroughs' book pretty faithfully. The only similarity between this version and Burroughs' story is that there's an uncharted island, castaways, Germans, a U-boat and dinosaurs. That's it. This version features some sort of dimensional gateway where modern people and others from the last century meet on Caprona, the island. They try to figure out how to escape, how to get along and how to contend with dinosaurs, mostly a T-rex. Speaking of which, the T-rex doesn't look too bad for this type of micro-budget sci-fi, just don't expect "Jurassic Park" quality (although the story's arguably better and this version definitely has better women).C. Thomas Howell directed the film and is also a member of the likable cast. I appreciate the camaraderie that develops between the Americans and the Germans. Speaking of which, the WWI Germans are pretty convincing.As far as women go, Lindsey McKeon is the highlight as a shapely brunette, but there's also a good-looking blond (Anya Benton).FINAL WORD: Although it doesn't follow Burroughs' book at all, this 2009 TV version of "The Land that Time Forgot" is a worthwhile lost-on-a-deserted-island flick in the tradition of "Mysterious Island" and others, like "Planet of the Dinosaurs". If you enjoy movies of this ilk, you'll probably appreciate this one.The film runs 90 minutes and was shot in Griffith Park, Los Angeles, Long Beach and Malibu, CA.GRADE: B-