They drink, they dance, they drink some more. They romance some, then drink. It's highball after horse's neck after the ship's best Irish. Then, they drink. Captain Walter Connelly already seems like he's had a few shooters when he accuses assistant Leon Errol of being drunk. Who should come aboard ship but silent screen has-been, playing, guess what, a disillusioned journalist on a seemingly endless bender. When meddlesome nouvo riche Alison Skipworth shows up at the captains it table and proceeds to rearrange the seating, more drinks flow, simply to make her somewhat tolerable. By the time this cruise is only half way done, the ensemble of this pre- code comedy will have more booze in them than a hillbilly's still.There are far too many characters and story lines going on to sustain interest in this poverty row attempt to emulate MGM's "Grand Hotel" and "Dinner at Eight". At the time, Columbia wasn't among the five majors, but it's obvious from this, that they were working on increasing that number. In its 90 minute length, it focuses on the fight over stolen bonds, the revelation over the secrets of a married woman with a past, attempted suicide and a revolution in a third world country. And that's not between drinks, but during them.Among the ensemble are Victor MacLaglen, Helen Vinson, Wynne Gibson and Fred Keating. Character performers Donald Meek and Walter Catlett offer some amusement. There are some very clever lines, and Connelly is hysterically funny as the cynical title character. But when a film has this much going on, it should come with character cards to describe who is who and how they are involved in the story. And considering how much booze flows, a wine list wouldn't be bad, either.

"The Captain Hates The Sea" is an entertaining but dated offering from Columbia, with touches, as has been noted, of "Grand Hotel" and "The Love Boat". The feel is of a somewhat confined stage play despite taking place at sea, and the overall impression is of a competent but minor picture that is overrated by virtue of the fact that it is the last movie John Gilbert made. He was good but not memorable, but at least proved that he had a good enough voice for talking pictures.Today's moviegoers would be somewhat put off by the cast of actors, who are familiar to us of a certain age but would be strangers to them. They may not have heard of John Gilbert, or Victor McLaglen, Helen Vinson, Leon Errol or the marvelous Alison Skipworth, for that matter. Add in the customs, styles and social disparities between now and then, and you have a filmed museum piece of interest to us older, savvy moviegoers only.I thought it was good enough for a rating of 6, and I will leave it at that.

A rather innocuous comedy The Captain Hates The Sea marked the farewell performance for silent screen star John Gilbert. After failing to make a comeback with his greatest co-star Greta Garbo in Queen Christina, Gilbert was given his walking papers by MGM. He was fourth billed in this film whose star was Victor McLaglen.Given the incredibly good cast of familiar character players The Captain Hates The Sea should have been a lot better than it was. But it's hampered by a confusing script.The main plot line involves former cop now turned private detective Victor McLaglen after some stolen bonds and he believes that Fred Keating and Helen Vinson have them. If one is used to seeing McLaglen as some of the oafish characters he played in later John Ford films, you'll be in for a surprise. He's by no means a dummy in The Captain Hates The Sea, though he does think a bit with his male member when it comes to Vinson.John Gilbert who by this time had descended into alcoholism in real life is cast as a dissolute playboy looking to take the cure on the sea voyage. It was a part hitting too close to home, but that may have been the reason he was so good in it.Another story line involves married couple John Wray and Wynne Gibson. She was a woman of easy virtue whose self righteous husband never lets her forget it.Such familiar people as Walter Catlett, Donald Meek, Alison Skipworth and even the Three Stooges get their moments in the film. Presiding over all of this is Captain Walter Connolly who is constantly berating steward Leon Errol. Leon Errol who was born in Australia in the only time I ever heard him on film actually uses an accent from the land of his birth. Which makes me wonder if that was his natural speech or did he lose it in his years on stage and screen on both sides of the pond and only recall it for this film.With such a colorful cast of familiar players The Captain Hates The Sea should be viewed. You'll probably like it as I did, but can see definite room for improvement.

...and this is the final entry in the filmography of one of those people - John Gilbert - so legend has it. This was Gilbert's last film, having been released by MGM just the year before after a prolonged and ignominious fall from the pinnacle of fame over a four year period, starting with his ill-fated first talkie starring role in "His Glorious Night". The captain (Walter Connally) certainly hates being captain here, though it is not clear so much that he hates the sea. However, he certainly is bored with life in general and his job in particular and wants his steward Layton (Leon Errol) to bring him juicy tidbits about what is going on between the passengers on his ship. The captain never passes up an opportunity to abuse the poor steward. However, the captain is really not the center of attention here at all. The emphasis is on the different passengers and how they interact. Central to the theme is John Gilbert as Steve Bramley, a writer who is losing a battle with alcohol, partly because he won't even try. His constant drinking hijinks are supposed to be funny, but in the context of what was going on in Gilbert's life it just turns out to be poignant.Actually pretty funny is Victor McLaglen as a private eye who is after a pair who have stolen some bonds. The private eye begins to fall for the female half of the thieving team. A wealthy matron casts a romantic eye at the male half of the thieving pair although he is at least twenty years younger than she. On the dramatic side there is a verbally and quite possibly physically abusive wealthy older man who has wed a girl from the other side of the tracks and won't let her forget it. Columbia always liked lots of mayhem in their 30's comedies, so joining the fray is The Three Stooges as a trio of musicians and Donald Meek as a character whose only point in this film seems to be his beard, which looks entirely fake but is not. That beard captures the imagination of several of the passengers in the way of pranks and bets.Some have called this a take on the "Grand Hotel" formula, but it isn't sewed together quite that neatly. Also, note that although this film is clearly past the precode era it has plenty of precode devices oddly left in. Although this movie was thoroughly entertaining, Gilbert's performance haunted me not only because of what he was playing - an unrepentant alcoholic - but how he played it. If you look at Gilbert's past talkies he was thoroughly engaged in the parts he was playing. Here he seems tired and worn and just taking everything that he observes as a joke, as if nothing really matters to him at this point. Perhaps he was directed to play it that way, but it did make me sad. The ending did make me glad for Gilbert's character, as there did seem to be at least one constant in his life upon which he could depend.