This movie combines long periods of people walking in silence with a plot that doesn't make any sense. The result? An almost unwatchable mess.

Amid talk of transferring thoughts from one person to another, there are also attempts to create a superior "astro man" by mad scientist Dr. DeMarco (John Carradine), using body parts from victims innocent and not so innocent. Spies are determined to gain control of this secret, leading to the expected plans by counter-spies to locate Dr. DeMarco, stop the killing sprees, and foil the villains, including the likes of the legendary and oh so sexy Tura Satana (playing a villainess named Satana).Producer & director Ted V. Mikels wrote this with none other than actor Wayne Rogers, who also takes a co-executive producer credit. It's widely considered a contender for worst film of all time, and this viewer can see that it's not so much because it's so incompetent that it makes one laugh. It's more because it's flat out BORING, with Mikels just dragging this thing out like you wouldn't believe. (It would have been more tolerable had it been shorter and more to the point, but even at just over an hour and a half, it's fatally overlong.) Much of the plot consists of exposition - tons of it. Carradines' experiments seem to go on for days. You just want to yell at the screen for the characters to get on with it. It's the kind of thing where you end up checking your watch much too often.It's a pity, really. Yours truly is a big lover of schlock, but even he found this underwhelming. Its truly fun moments (at least the movie builds to a pretty entertaining finale) are far too infrequent.Satana is the main reason to watch this; co-star Joan Patrick (who plays Janine) is also tremendously appealing eye candy. The cast has a few familiar faces, who are basically marking time. Sad to say, this was one of the final film roles for character actor Wendell Corey, who's relegated to standing in an office and reeling off some of that exposition. Carradine is good, but some might wish that he'd gone for broke and been hammier. Tom Pace and Joseph Hoover are dull heroes, but Rafael Campos is a fun bad guy (as Satanas' psychotic associate), and William Bagdad makes a lot of hilarious faces as DeMarcos' mute assistant.Proceed at your own risk; there aren't really a lot of rewards to be reaped here.Four out of 10.

The Astro-Zombies is one of those Z-grade efforts where you can tell the producers had a bunch of props and sets left over from previous productions and wrote a script based around them. Therefore, the film makes absolutely no sense, and ends up throwing everything but the kitchen sink at the audience. We are left with a story involving mad scientist Dr. DeMarco (John Carradine) and his hunchback lab assistant who are attempting to create an army of 'astro zombies', superhuman beings whose actual purpose is sketchy. After one is loosed and goes on a killing spree, the CIA (led by a clearly sozzled Wendell Corey, who died due to his alcoholism shortly after filming) and a spy ring led by the great Tura Satana become interested.It's easy to label a film 'the worst film ever!', but The Astro Zombies, directed by schlock favourite Ted V. Mikels, truly lives up to its reputation. Carradine, bless him, makes a valiant attempt to make some kind of sense of the plot with some muffled monologues, but I got completely lost in all the drivel. There is the odd moment of camp weirdness such as the wounded astro zombie fleeing with a torch pressed against his head to keep itself alive or a naked exotic dance that serves absolutely no purpose, but it constantly lingers on endless laboratory scenes where literally nothing happens. The zombies themselves are nothing more than a man in a kind of insect/skull/mutant mask, and there's only really one of them. It's a truly painful experience that lacks the amusing moments of Mikels' other 'works' such as The Corpse Grinders (1971) and The Doll Squad (1973), that at least made those films bearable. Truly painful stuff that could benefit from a good thirty minutes shaved off the running time.www.the-wrath-of-blog.blogspot.com

I just wasn't sure that I could watch after seeing that beautiful white 65 0r 66 Mustang convertible splattered with blood after the zombie killed the heavenly beauty that was riding it. I was just hoping he wouldn't put any dents in it.Most of it was a major snooze-fest with lots of time spent showing people driving or riding, the mad scientist John Carradine, and the requisite topless dancer with the Ken-doll looking government agents watching. Watching Carradine explain his experiments to his Igor-like assistant was a real hoot. This guy couldn't understand George Bush.It was really funny watching all the fakeness in this film. It was like something Ed Wood would do.But, hey, I watched this to see the sultry Tura Satana. She was smoking hot!